Three tricks of "conscious parenting" teach you to deal with the bear babies at home

Text / Meng Mama

Graph / Network

Recently, the children have begun to take online classes again, parents and friends who do not know the "fight" with the divine beast, is your blood pressure okay?

We mean that everyone understands the principle of patience in parenting, but when encountering mischievous bear children, it is really impossible to control their emotions!

Just saying that she wrote homework with her baby made many parents collapse. When tutoring children to do their homework, at the beginning, you can also tell yourself that you must be patient, buddhist, and tutor your children well. But if the children can't teach how to teach, you will gradually lose patience, and when it is serious, you will be angry with them, angry, and develop into a family war that roars and screams.

In retrospect, I will be very guilty, but when I get emotionally, I can't control myself and don't know what to do. If you are also such a parent, it is better to try "conscious parenting", in a way that does not yell or scream, calmly get along with the child, let the child cooperate with us, reduce family conflicts, so that parents and children can benefit in the process of communication.

Conscious parenting, or CP for short. Refers to a parenting style that focuses on perception, connection, and the present.

Unlike the parenting style of absolute authority and thorough indulgence, "conscious parenting" pays more attention to the real concern for the child, listens to the child's inner needs, and understands the real motivation behind the child's behavior.

One of the mistakes we make when educating children is to convince children with truths that only adults understand.

For example, before I go out, I will say to Mencius: "When you study today, you must concentrate, don't lose your mind, remember that your life today is only once in your life, your first grade is only once, and the 6-year-old you are only this year." ”

Mencius also learned to deal with me, and would fool me: "Mom, I understand!" "As a result, you should play at home during the day, indulge in electronic products, and do not do homework at all."

When I thought about it later, I felt like I was whimsical. How can an adult who has spent many years planting a lot of heels to understand the truth to educate a 6-and-a-half-year-old child?

And if you want your child to understand your good intentions, the best way is to accompany him to do the cold bench, accompany him to experience breakthroughs, and let him achieve achievements again and again.

For example, if you want your child to learn self-discipline, you need to teach them the methods and strategies of self-discipline. For example, how to decompose large goals into several small goals; how to use "GTD" and "pomodoro work method" to carry out task management and time management; how to resist external temptations by maintaining physical distance, distraction and other strategies.

Parents can teach their children these methods and strategies they have learned hand in hand; they can also frankly share with him the successes and failures of their own pursuit of self-discipline, and the knowledge absorbed by children will be unexpected by you.

In addition to daily family education, it is also important to pay attention to cultivating children's patience. Parents can take their children to do things that don't produce immediate results, such as planting some plants and often observing changes in plants.

In participating in activities that promote patience, children go through the whole process and experience the fruits obtained by waiting patiently, which children will remember and apply in their future lives.

Growing up with children is a difficult process, but to love children, we must cultivate the quality of making children happy, restraint and patience, which will make children more smooth in their future lives.

Consciously

Transforming thinking inspires questions

After knowing what methods should be used to educate children, the next step is an important communication link - make good use of heuristic questions.

Heuristics are simple, they don't give your child answers directly. The typical heuristic questions you can use in life are: "So what to do?" When do you plan to complete your assignment? "What are your thoughts on solving this problem?" "What better is it to do?" "Think about it, what are we going to do now?".

Physiologically, asking a question is relaxing, telling the brain to find the answer on its own.

The child's thinking ability and self-management ability are from his ability to pay attention to the heart, if we can use more heuristic questions, the child will pay more attention to their own heart, and often think about what I want, how I want to.

This is a model that parents can accompany their children to grow, which is very good to stimulate children's ability to explore and think, and at the same time, it can also improve their children's self-management ability, which can be described as killing two birds with one stone.

Natural punishment

Qualified parents not only know how to praise their children, but also know how to punish their children, and how to punish them to achieve educational results without not hurting their children too much? This is more of a "science".

This method is the natural consequence method, that is, sometimes the child suffers a little but it is more memorable for him to remember.

For example, at home, the child wants to play ball, and the parents say it several times and do not listen. As a result, the child kicked a large piece of the room glass to pieces.

You can do this by having your child sleep in that room, letting him feel like sleeping in a leaky room, not only not being able to turn on the air conditioner, but also suffering from mosquito bites (though parents need to make sure their surroundings are safe. This way, the child naturally learns to be obedient.

Through natural punishment, young children learn internalized rules, so they will spontaneously be willing to obey.

In fact, many times we look at children with all kinds of unpleasant eyes, in the final analysis, with their own various emotions of life and work. Remember, children need happy parents more. Learning to control emotions, trying to understand each other's mood, embodying the small nodules in the heart in words, communicating well, and consciously raising children is the last word.

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Meng Mama

The post-90s "little fresh mother", love life, love to share, love Mencius and love Mencius and his father. Over the years, pen cultivation has accumulated nearly 850,000 fans, sharing the latest and most fashionable baby poses with mothers, the coolest and most interesting mother and baby content of science.

Friday, 2022/04/08

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