The story of "three stupid birds" has been circulating on the Internet:
One just flies first; one just doesn't fly; one just doesn't fly by himself, and then lays an egg and lets the offspring fly hard.
Those parents who forced Jackie Chan to ask:
You don't want to fly yourself, and you force your children to fly, isn't it too unkind? Do you dare to examine your own life with the same set of strict standards for treating children?
You hope that the child will become a dragon, and the child will also hope that you will become a dragon; if you continue to double standard, you are doomed to be unable to win-win.
01
"For his own good", in fact, just for their own good
Guo Degang said: Many parents are too selfish, he hopes that his son will become a dragon, but he is not a dragon.
The result of forcing Jackie Chan is often a chicken flying egg fight, and both sides lose.
Some children will even leave a desperate "mother goodbye" because they can't stand this deformed "love", and then go to another world to find love.
Without joy and love, all living beings wither.
Lu Qin once loudly questioned parents who relied on beating and cursing their children to force them to learn:
"What do you really want?" Do you want a score, or do you want children? Do you want to get grades, or do you want to grow? ”
Those parents who regard scolding as "love", their behavior has brought harm to their children, and even become a sin, affecting their children's physical and mental health, becoming a shadow for their whole life.
No more on the grounds that "Mom and Dad are good for you" to force your children.
Let the kids go.
02
Love children, all in these details
A friend told her story: when she was a child, she was deducted 5 points for not writing a "solution" on a math test, and instead of criticizing her for losing points that shouldn't have been lost, her mother told her:
"In the rules, what seems unnecessary should also be followed. This is not only the protection of oneself, but also the respect for the other party and those who follow the rules. ”
Later, my friend studied abroad and was praised every time she emailed her tutor, because her format and words were particularly rigorous, leaving a good impression on her tutor.
It turns out that what is more effective than "scolding" and "throwing children" is that the parents themselves are the ones who follow the rules, and then set an example to guide their children to follow the rules and respect others.
Parents are the best role models for children, but also the closest partners and comrades-in-arms of children.
Really, the healthy growth of children is the greatest gift to parents.
Ordinary or successful, every child is a unique existence in the hearts of parents.
Let go of anxiety, let go of the obsession of looking forward to Jackie Chan, in the parent-child relationship, you can try to use these three mirrors:
Magnifying Glass: Magnify your child's strengths, give him confidence, and help him see his strengths.
Microscope: Narrow your child's weaknesses, treat them with tolerance, and help him repair his weaknesses.
Telescope: Focus on the future of children, let go of anxiety and utilitarianism, start from the physical and mental health of children, and accompany them to grow.
Believe in children, believe that they can all become better versions of themselves.
Even if they can't grow into a towering tree, as long as they can grow up healthy and happy, even if they grow into an ordinary person who is optimistic and sunny, why not?
Copyright notice: the above graphics and text, source network, you are sharing, the copyright belongs to the original author and the original source, if there is infringement, please contact to delete.
Jingxue family education video number
Do not talk about theory, do not talk about the truth, and do not boil chicken soup blindly
Material, interesting and easy to use
Raise great kids with ease
Become a family education specialist