Hello everyone, I'm Empty Valley Youlan, mom of two children!
I recently saw such a post on the Internet: "The same with the baby, why is grandma free, but grandma has to pay a salary?" "Indeed, this is a more realistic question, some of us may have considered, some people may be two old people with babies are free, feel taken for granted."
However, I personally still feel that whether it is a grandmother or a grandmother with a baby, there should be no such comparison, but to be grateful.
We all know that after the mother has given birth, if she goes out to work, she must have someone to help with the child, who is the most suitable person to take the child? Some families have grandmothers, and some families have grandmothers. Although both grandma and grandma help with the children, their treatment is still very different.
"Why did your mother take the baby, but let my mother pay for it?" The daughter-in-law's words made the husband lose his temper
Liu Li has been living with her mother-in-law since she got married, and after giving birth to her son, the child is the mother-in-law who has been helping to carry it. When the child is a little more than one year old, the mother-in-law's mother is sick and paralyzed in bed and needs to be taken care of. Their family hired a nanny for the old man, but the nanny was scolded by the old man three days ago and ran away, and she wanted her daughter to take care of her.
Does the mother-in-law take care of the children or the elderly? The mother-in-law said that otherwise she would ask the nanny to take care of the child, but Liu Li was afraid that the nanny would not be good for the child and said that she would not say anything. Later, they decided to let the child's grandmother take care of the child, and gave the cost of the babysitter to the grandmother.
Liu Li's husband complained a little, he said: "Originally, my mother took the child and no one gave her money, but now your mother with the child let my mother pay for it, which is too unfair!" ”
Liu Li was also very angry when she heard this, she said: "If your mother does not want to pay this money, let your mother spend money to find a nanny for your grandmother, and she will still bring us children." I had to go to work anyway, and our kids couldn't follow the babysitter. "My husband and mother-in-law don't lose my temper either, after all, this is already a good result."
I personally think that this mother is also right, the child is her own heart, and it is better to find a nanny than to find a grandmother or grandmother. However, because the mother-in-law's mother is sick and needs the care of relatives, this is the filial piety that the children should have, and the children can only be brought by the grandmother, which is the grandmother to help the daughter to bring it. So doing that I think is the best outcome.
But why are most grandmothers with children free?
From ancient times to the present, who comes to help bring their children's children, most families are grandmothers who give priority to children, which is related to the cultural traditions of the mainland for many years. After men and women get married, the majority of people live in the man's life, so after giving birth to a child, the grandmother is also "near the water tower platform first to get the moon", it is more convenient to take care of the child.
In addition, when a child is born, it is generally the same as the father's surname, and it is the grandmother's own family. The daughter who marries out spills out the water, and the grandmother can only be regarded as an outsider. Therefore, it is also natural that the child is a grandmother.
However, now more and more grandmothers are also appearing in the ranks with children, why is this?
Although there are more grandmothers with children, the phenomenon of grandmothers with children has gradually increased. This is because the proportion of only children among mothers is increasing. After the marriage of the husband and wife, the life in the woman's family gradually increases, because the time with the mother-in-law is long, it is inevitable that there will be no contradictions. The same is true with children, their own mothers are better communicative than their mothers-in-law, and they are more comfortable to live together. So, grandmothers are joining the army of "bringing children".
The elderly help with the children, should the children pay?
The elderly help with the children, I believe that most families do not have to pay, because the elderly are selfless dedication to their children, never expect anything in return. The elderly helping their children, and the children taking care of the elderly, are also taken for granted.
However, I would like to say that whether it is a grandmother or a grandmother, it is quite hard for them to be willing to help with the children, and this is not their obligation. They brought up their children and came to help with their grandchildren, which is purely a help, and children should be grateful to the elderly.
As for some families who are willing to give money to the elderly, if their economic conditions are relatively rich, and the elderly are more short of money, I think it is okay for the elderly to accept the wishes of their children.
After all, they are all a family, even if they don't help with the children, they still need to help each other. The elderly help with the children, whether to pay or free, these are still the two sides should communicate well.
My parents are getting older and in worse health. In the second half of life, as children, they should also be allowed to live in peace in their old age. Therefore, if the elderly are willing to help with the children, it is good, and if they are not willing to help, it is also a reasonable thing. Children's childhood is very short, we should still overcome the difficulties and spend more time with children.