Even more frightening than the game is that Chinese children do not live in the real world at all

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Text: Diane

Source: SanClass Iii Lessons (ID: SanClass)

After reading this article, many people will be shocked. Even more frightening than the glory of the king is that the child has drifted away from real life.

In fact, why don't we? Fake companionship, fake love... If the parents also live in illusory relationships, then naturally so do the children.

1

The other day, the game Of Glory has been condemned, in fact, as long as you carefully observe, what is more terrifying than indulging in games is that Chinese children have been living in a game-like illusory relationship.

Their parents are pretending to accompany their children every day, like a game set in the family, trying to play their roles -

1. The child comes to the side intimate, within ten minutes, the father will inevitably say: I am going to work, you look for grandma to play; every minute of accompanying the child has a feeling of scratching the heart and scratching the liver, if you can't escape the scene, you will suffocate to death; in fact, turn your head into your room, pick up the mobile phone and start to look blindly, the work is obviously not so urgent to accompany the child, "to go to work" is an excuse that you can move yourself;

2. Although the full-time wife is around the child every day, she pays attention to the needs and feelings of the child every moment, the time to wash clothes, the early education, the time to read the story, not to treat the child as a living person, and to listen carefully to the needs and feelings of the child;

3. The old man in the family is almost 24 hours of eyes from the child's care, but her most concerned is not to bump, eat more food, wear more clothes, sleep more, in the eyes of the elderly, do not tire themselves half dead is not good to raise children, of course, they do not know, tired of their own 1000, but also harmed the child 800;

Everyone has built a large-scale comprehensive family game in their own way, and everyone uses their own set of equipment to kill their own destination.

Children are taught how to live better, never living according to their own needs and will, and never living in real emotional experiences. Of course, in this large-scale game, parents also prepared N more equipment for their children, literacy, learning English, drawing, dancing... The more equipment, the more invincible.

This is no different from a virtual game, or even worse.

In "When I Meet a Man", Li Xue talked about a case of "a friend playing the piano when he was a child, and she described how his father felt when he watched him play the piano, like admiring the geisha he bought back" - parents can't see the child's life itself, but see the child's functional value.

When each child's emotions and feelings are not seen, he has no way to feel love and be loved, the child is just a prop used by the family to express love, although he is favored by the stars like the moon, but what he experiences in his heart is eternal loneliness.

What's the difference between this and being in a game?

2

Most parents are desperately fleeing their children by various means, and parents are doing everything they can to keep themselves busy, so that they can't accompany their children into a must-do thing.

● Dad wants to earn money to support the family, to socialize...

● Although the mother is at home, she wants to be a good example for the child as an independent woman, so she is busy charging and learning, busy creating her own small business...

Of course, when parents are busy, they will not let their children idle, they send their children to other places to be educated, for this reason -

● Feed N more after-school cram schools;

● Support N multi-foreign language institutions and extracurricular interest institutions;

● Feed N more summer camps, parent-child travel industry;

● And, of course, the much-maligned online games;

There is also a more hidden false accompaniment, every holiday, parents will arrange time, specially take their children out of the tour, toss and turn in a lively attraction, playground, which not only satisfies the illusion of accompanying children, but also avoids the anxiety of facing children alone.

3

It's not that you can't take your kids out, or that parents can't go out to work. The crux of the matter is whether when we do these things, it's an escape—avoiding the most real, child-needed parts, and bringing up your child with false role-based companionship.

● When we have time, try to spend time with children without distraction, instead of coping and thinking about unnecessary work or housework;

● When the child encounters obvious learning, communication or living habits, patiently understand the reasons and demands behind each bad behavior of the child, and help the child see and do it himself;

● Take the confidence and sincerity to repair the parent-child relationship with the child that is not friendly or even broken, become friends with the child, accompany the child is not how much time, only if we do not change each other, there is real companionship;

● When taking children out, take companionship as the "main purpose", and take the original "secondary purpose" of the tour, you are no longer going to complete the itinerary like a flower, but experience an unforgettable life experience together;

Most people are anxious to run away from our children because we can't face ourselves, we have had enough of ourselves, and we desperately want to forget ourselves somewhere else. That's why there are so many excuses, there are poems and distant places that we must go to, and there are opium-like games that help us escape from facing our true selves again and again.

If you compare life to a clock, a clockwise life is a cycle of reincarnation, and the direction of breaking the cocoon into a butterfly counterclockwise is nirvana, this life is not easy to be a person, do not easily let go of yourself.

And the arrival of the child is the opportunity we are closest to Nirvana, you will see your own pattern thoroughly, and then break, crush, rebuild, and follow the child to grow up again.

And then what? And then there's no then...

The most important mission of your life is accomplished, and the absolute growth of life is the pilgrimage path that everyone has to take throughout their lives, and it is worth spending more time facing (of course, work experience can also be a practice, but obviously that environment is not so real).

4

I know that once you see all this, you're going to make excuses for yourself right away —

● What if I don't work and have no income at home...

● I am not like you, I have the conditions to stay at home with my children...

● I always have to do something meaningful to realize my value, rather than focusing on my children...

So, I have nothing more to say.

I have never seen anyone who ends up starving to death because he stays at home with his children and doesn't go out to work. At the end of the day, it's your insatiable material desires, your desire to compare, and your fear of your own and your child's future life that keep you from stopping.

As everyone knows, if you can't stop at this moment, you and your children will not have a feeling of abundance in this life, which has nothing to do with more money and less money.

And those children who have not been accompanied by "sincerity" will have an incurable sense of loneliness throughout their lives, which lays a "solid foundation" for his future "various addictions", and the parent-child relationship that he desires and cannot get usually requires psychological counseling that lasts for several years or even more than ten years to warm the initial loneliness of life.

PS：

The key to the problem is not to go to work, but we can live a real life, too many of us have no direction to complain about at work, and feel guilty about paying too little attention to children, unable to live at home to accompany children, anxious about how to cope with the outside world, if in this divided state, it is better to stop and focus on self-growth, otherwise it is a vicious circle for children to themselves.

epilogue

Some friends may find this article too extreme. In any case, this article has sounded a wake-up call for us, think about yourself, usually accompany your children is not thinking about the mobile phone? Children are attracted to the glory of kings, and we are also attracted to the Internet...

It's better to go to work or not to go to work. Choose the most comfortable way to accompany your children and accompany your family. Enough is enough.