Author/Pond Fish
A girl I know who just came out of a relationship some time ago.
In the end, she lost miserably. But in fact, the end of their love has long been signed. This girl has paid too much, so that in the days when the boy is hesitant, she is still carefully planning the future of the two people, and wants to go to the end seriously with others.
I once reminded her not to always think about the other person.
Because when they were in the relationship stage, she told me that she was worried that if he left him, there would be no girl who would be able to tolerate him in the future, understand the difficulty of his family situation, and give him understanding and warmth. She inexplicably and blindly thought that only she could love him and care for him so desperately, to put it bluntly, she was afraid that in the future, in the days without her, the boy would have a bad life.
I said, "Don't you think of him too weakly, or too pitiful, no, didn't he live well when he didn't meet you?" ”
She replied: "No, he is very lonely and vulnerable in his heart." He grew up in poor conditions at home, he suffered a lot to get to where he is today through reading, very hard, not easy. The last time he showed me pictures of him as a child, I noticed at a glance that the shoes on his feet were broken, and I couldn't help but blush. ”
In fact, the boy did not deliberately sell misery in front of her. When they first met, the boy had always been a down-to-earth, hard-working, reliable and powerful image, she was attracted to his personality, and then in the process of getting along with him, she learned that his growing environment was not easy, and a lot of pity began to arise in her heart.
This love directly led to her in this intimate relationship, regardless of any cost to pay, she only wanted to see him good, see him happy, she thought that his childhood environment was not happy, wanted to give him a warm home. All in all, she has fallen in love with him particularly blindly, and the mentality at that time was that the mountains and seas she loved were all peaceful, not that he did not marry.
As a girl, falling in love with someone is not terrible.
On the contrary, if people live a lifetime, if no one has really loved, and there is no regret to pay, then at a certain stage of life, there may be some regrets and regrets when they think about it, and in the best years, they did not chase the love they wanted.
Therefore, once truly loved each other, even if they were not together in the end, in fact, in the long run, it is still beautiful. Although you do not have the last flower, at least you pass through each other's bloom.
Being able to accompany each other through a period of time, in the days of two-way travel, or laughter, or crying, is an indispensable experience in life.
However, if a girl has such feelings of pity for a boy, then in this intimate relationship, it is destined to suffer more, suffer more injuries, and if she cannot get what she wants, it will become extremely difficult to let go of this process.
No matter what the relationship between the two people is, the highest state of a woman after being eaten is like this 3 words: pity him.
When you start to pity someone, you're basically already losing out in the relationship. Zhou Guoping once said that the highest state of loving a person is compassion. This attitude of compassion can even make a person lose himself in this intimate relationship, because the love is too deep, so he will not think about himself at all.
Under normal circumstances, we like or love a person, in fact, when it comes to a critical moment, we will still think about our own interests, weigh some gains and losses, and make the most rational judgment. Sometimes, although there is still love in the heart, it will still choose to give up under some factors of reality. But if this love, coupled with the poor other party's emotions, then the top is a matter of minutes, when thinking about the pros and cons, even will always stand in the other party's position for the sake of thinking, they are willing to suffer losses.
The so-called things must be reversed, the deep love is not long-lived, and it is often such love that it is impossible to harvest the ideal result.
When you love someone too much and want to live with each other for a lifetime, the other party's love for you, in this process, is particularly easy to weaken. In this world, there are not so many people who can really learn to cherish, and most people regret it after they have lost it and have not encountered such a preference.
When you really have it, you just feel accustomed to it, or even become more intense, and the so-called favored will always have no fear.
The girl I know, she and her boyfriend also did not go to the end, not that she wanted to share, but the boy liked other girls.
At first, she didn't understand where she was losing, and always asked: "I am so good to him, why did he do such a thing, to break my heart?" ”
She even violated her own principles and was still willing to give him another chance, saying that as long as he returned, she could not blame the past.
Unfortunately, the matter of feelings has never been a cause and effect relationship between you being good to me and being good to you. Like and dislike, love and be loved, are inseparable from a business process, and even sometimes need some routines, although sincerity in many times unimpeded, but too much heart and lungs of sincerity, but it is easy to make their sincerity become dull.
Her pity for him was nothing more than a personal assumption, and he had never been so pitiful.
She thought he was pathetic, but it was her love, amplifying his experience, and she would feel sorry for him every difficult moment, preferring to suffer himself rather than him. However, he was not rare and did not feel much. Of course, sometimes in the face of some of her behaviors, boys have also been moved, but any love, whether it is touching themselves or touching each other, can not just rely on touching to maintain.
She loves too strongly, and his love is naturally indifferent, because he understands that he does not need to pay, he can enjoy the sincerity of a girl, and then he will not do anything more. When he got used to it, whatever she did, it was a matter of course. Later, he chose to warm the person who he was willing to give.
After that, it can only be willing to gamble and lose.
-END-
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