People are social animals, if a person wants to survive normally in society, in addition to having a material foundation and a healthy body, but also the support of interpersonal relationships, family affection, love and friendship are indispensable.
Among the three relationships of family, love and friendship, which one is the most important and has accompanied us for the longest time? Many people believe that only family affection is constantly cut and can never be abandoned. Family affection is related to blood relations, and blood and genes are highly connected, so family affection with common genes is also the most important interpersonal relationship.
However, more and more people find that the feelings of biological brothers and sisters are not always close, trust and help each other, and children born in poor families may help each other and snuggle with each other in childhood, but after adulthood and family, they gradually become estranged, and even become enemies who meet and see each other. What is the reason for this?
As the saying goes, the cycle of cause and effect has its own definite number, and everything has a reincarnation. If you think about it, these are nothing more than these three reasons.
1. Every poor child is a camel shoko: a mud bodhisattva crosses a river and is unable to protect himself
In this fast-paced, high-consumption era, many people have to become a screw for private enterprises due to no education, no background, no technology, 996, 007, no overtime wages, no social security, and work hard to shine for the enterprise.
Of course, the units in the system have stable high incomes and social status, but not everyone can get in. People in the system can safely work from nine to six, have a lot of time to take care of the family, care for the partner and lover, but the screws of small and medium-sized enterprises can only be two points and one line, and all the strength is exhausted to support the family.
As we all know, the survival rate of private enterprises is often not very high, 80% of private enterprises have a lifespan of only 3-8 years, 20% of private enterprises can have a lifespan of 10-20 years, and less than 3% of private enterprises can live for more than 20 years. In such a severe social context, people from poor families can be said to be living a precarious life.
Especially in the past three years of the epidemic, many small bosses declared bankruptcy, low-level people without professional skills can not find a job after layoffs, even children's tuition, mortgages and car loans can not be paid, you let them talk to their brothers and sisters about family affection, help brothers and sisters through the difficulties, is this not difficult for strong people?
People are selfish, and in the face of crisis, they first think about themselves, which is determined by the basic properties of living things. This attribute will most likely not change because of parent-child relationship and sibling affection, so we will see that some children are unfilial to their parents and indifferent to their brothers and sisters.
Because they all understand that family affection cannot be eaten as rice, only if they find a reliable rice bowl first, can they give their parents a piece of soup and let their brothers and sisters drink a bowl of cold water. Empty talk, but without any filial piety and ability to help others, this is not only incompetent, but also self-deception after incompetence.
So when siblings don't reach out when you need it, maybe it's not because they don't want to help, but they really don't have the ability to cut the flesh of the body and feed it to you, right?
Remember, at any time, the only person you can rely on is yourself.
2. The consequences of lack of resources: the poorer the more they like to be calculating and calculating with each other
As the saying goes, the economic base determines the superstructure. Children from poor families, due to the lack of material conditions, are likely to lag behind in terms of living habits, personality, temperament and etiquette.
Poor and treacherous, rich conscience. Since survival is the first major need of living things, the poor are likely to go out to do something disgraceful in order to survive, and have no time to take care of their faces.
For example, we often see some sloppy women on the street scolding or even beating each other, and there are many drunk people who urinate everywhere, bully girls, drunk drivers, and a person who has been dressed in fine clothes since childhood rarely does this kind of thing, because they think face is more important.
The poorer they are, the more unwilling they are to suffer losses, and the poorer they are, the more they like to be calculated, because small profits are the focus of their lives, the major events of life, and other greater benefits they have no way to obtain, they can only waste time on these things.
As brothers and sisters who know each other, if everyone is not living well, they are not willing to come and go frequently, so as not to embarrass the other party too well, if the other party is worse than themselves, it is not good to come to me to borrow money, it is not good to refuse. Simply stop coming and going, worry and save money.
And those who know and have high incomes understand that cooperation is the last word. The better people live, the more they know that helping others is to help themselves, you help others, others will pull you at key moments, because no one likes to owe others human feelings.
As a result, the rich have more and more friends, the poor have fewer and fewer friends, and finally they are lonely and lonely.
The poor are in the downtown area and no one asks, and the rich have distant relatives in the mountains.
3. The importance of family education: Parents lack the right education and guidance
If the first two are from their own reasons, then another important reason why poor brothers and sisters no longer interact is that their parents lacked education and guidance when they were young.
Not all poor brothers and sisters will turn against each other, and a considerable number of people will be in the same boat and support each other. This is determined by the education of parents at an early age.
Some parents have a bowl of water, do not value sons over daughters, do not prefer one of them, and have long known how to educate their children to help each other, no matter how bad the conditions are, they must let them feel the warmth of family affection. This is the wisdom of parents, although the financial conditions are not very rich, their own ability is not good, but in terms of parenting, they are still very qualified.
Economic conditions are one of the factors that affect a person's happiness, and emotions are no exception. Money can buy bread and milk, but it cannot buy true feelings, if a person is indoctrinated by his parents from an early age that true feelings are more important than money, then, no matter how bad the conditions are, children can confidently open up their own world.
Because he has the backing, has the inner support, is bullied outside, and returns home to someone who can immediately comfort him.
On the contrary, some children from wealthy families, because they have regarded money as more important than feelings since childhood, in their eyes, they will sacrifice everything for money, and when their parents die, brothers and sisters are everywhere because of their property.
All in all, the economic base is indeed the main factor affecting the quality of personality and family affection, but education is a more important factor than money.
No matter how bitter you are, you can't be bitter about your children, and no matter how poor you are, you can't be poor in education. Education is the foundation of the founding of the country and the foundation of a strong country, and education is not only the core competitiveness of children in the future, but also the foundation of national rejuvenation.