From the beginning of literacy, the teacher taught us to strive for the upper reaches and be a good person.
However, many people have a hard life, try their best to barely enough to feed themselves, live a miserable life, do not feel happiness, but they are very envious of the people around them who have a good life.
Many people like to blame their bad luck for the reason, thinking that others are having a good life is a big luck, and their own bad life is because of bad luck.
However, it ignores the efforts made behind others, because as the saying goes, if you want to be noble before others, you must suffer before others, and those who live well work hard in places we can't see, and then they become better and better, not overnight.
Goode said, "Fate, I make it myself, blessing, I ask for it myself." ”
Life has its own opportunities, seemingly impermanent, but in fact everything has cause and effect.
A person who wants to get better and better starts by making three changes:
01
Change your perception, and you will change with it.
The so-called cognition, psychologically, refers to the psychological process of an individual's knowledge and understanding of things through conscious activities.
How much a person can achieve, whether it will get better and better, is determined by their own cognitive level.
Anthony Robin said: "Nothing can affect us, what can really affect us is our own cognition." ”
Although there are many factors that determine a person's cognitive level, there are mainly family environments, living environments, circles, inputs and outputs.
The family environment and life environment affect our physiological genes, which also contains a large number of social genes, and our way of doing things and thinking methods are directly affected by parents, friends and the environment from an early age.
If there is not much change in a lifetime, it is most likely a copy of parents, friends, and circles, and also constitutes its own underlying logic.
Our cognition is limited by the circle we are in, as the frog in the well in the story says, saying that the sky is boxy, but it is a cognitive limitation, and we have not seen a larger sky outside the well, and we only see the sky like the wellhead in our eyes.
In "Zhuangzi Qiushui", it is said: "The well frog cannot speak of the sea, the summer insect cannot speak of ice, and the mortal man cannot speak." ”
If you want to change your cognition, you have to realize that you need to change in order to take the first step, and then read more books, observe more people around you, learn things that are worth learning, and become your own use, that is, input.
The things learned are strengthened, the experience obtained from them is transformed into new habits, and then optimize their underlying logic, replace the old with new life experiences, cognition will iterate, and the bad character and defects of the past will be repaired and optimized in this replacement, and finally enter the positive feedback, that is, output, thereby changing themselves.
Cognitive change is a long-term and painful process, Zeng Guofan spent 3 years to achieve cognitive change, only persistence can see results.
02
Change your habits and develop a good habit.
Zeng Guofan studied the Zizhi Tongjian and the Tongdian to understand the pros and cons of the times, social customs and folk sufferings, and also read through the literature of the previous dynasties before Daoguang.
This is done only to accumulate and decisively present its own opinions and solutions when the situation is critical. It is precisely because of the good habits he usually forms that he can not be in danger at a critical moment.
If you want to change yourself, you have to change your thinking, language, and behavior. When you have a bad time, stop complaining and sink your heart to learn. When you have a good time, you must also sink your heart to restrain your pride. Not being swayed by emotions, but also constantly improving their skills, improving themselves in the accumulation of time.
There is a concept of "compound interest" in economics, that is, the use of compound interest to achieve maximum returns, and a good habit will make you grow into a multiplier, reach a height that others cannot reach, and achieve a better self.
If you want to change your habits, you must find a method that suits you and act consistently.
Nietzsche said: "In fact, man is like a tree, and the more he yearns for the sunlight in the heights, the more its roots will reach out to the dark underground." ”
If you want to get better and better, you have to root your roots and develop good habits in order to flourish.
03
Change your mindset and learn to live in the sun.
The Buddha said, "Life is created by oneself, phase is born from the heart, the state of affairs rotates with the heart, and tolerance is great." ”
A person's state is related to his personality, experience, posture, cognition, habits, etc., and physical conditions also have an impact on psychological conditions.
The auspicious and bad fortunes of the world are determined by people's mentality, and from the perspective of the trajectory of experience, behavior is only a reaction of the mind.
A person's mentality determines what kind of life they will live.
In the story of a glass of water, the water is sprinkled in half, different people treat the remaining half a glass of water with different attitudes, optimistic people will be glad that there is still half a glass of water to drink, and pessimistic people will feel that they are unlucky, feel that it is a pity to sprinkle half of the water, produce regret, pain and other bad emotions, making people more pessimistic.
Whether a person can get better and better, the most important thing is to see whether the mentality is good or bad.
There is a "Murphy's Law" in psychology that explains very well that if a person chooses a way that causes things to go bad, no matter how small this possibility is, it will always happen.
If you want to change your mentality, you will reduce the things that consume your energy and affect your mood, take back your time and energy, give yourself a chance to breathe, read books, exercise, broaden your horizons, try new things and meet new people, and be born to the sun.
The reason why intelligent people can get better and better is that they can always face various problems in life with a positive and optimistic attitude, and choose the method that suits them and can solve the problem, so as to change their situation.
If you want to get better and better, you can't change external factors such as the environment, then change your cognition, your own habits, your own mentality, because it is better to rely on anyone than on yourself.
The Book of Verses says, "Forever speak of one's destiny, and seek many blessings for oneself." ”
If you want to get better and better, you must dare to reflect on yourself and dare to change yourself in order to seek a beautiful and happy life.
Only when you are getting better and better, you have the right to choose, and you can live the life you want.
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