Focusing on the four aspects of minors' family relations, interpersonal communication, learning and ability, and personal growth, Hongmei Street in Xuhui District launched the brand project "Dream Enjoyment Space" for the mental health of minors, providing heart-to-heart counseling for minors' mental health, so that children can enjoy the space for open-mindedness and healthy growth.
COMMUNICATE WITH CHILDREN
The little divine beast communicates dafa
Experts with you
Face
What is communication
What are the patterns of behavior in the child
How to know which behavior pattern your own divine beast belongs to
3 magic weapons to help you build communication with your child
This is a lesson that applies
Between parents and children aged 3-6 years
Sharing of parent-child communication
Hear what the experts have to say
Communicate with children
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COMMUNICATION
Speaking of communication, let's first discuss what communication is. We communicate all the time, what exactly is communication?
First of all, the communication must have at least 2 objects or more, and there must be content between the two parties, and there must also be content transmission, that is to say, interaction is required. So communication is two-way and there is feedback.
Children's patterns of behavior
ACTION OF A CHIELD
ACTION
When one party sends a message, the premise that the other party needs to give feedback is that the other party can receive the message.
So how do we receive messages from others?
We have five senses, sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste, which means that we receive all the information from the outside world through these five senses. Although the five senses work at the same time, each person also has different priorities when using it. According to the different priority levels of the use of the five senses, we divide the human behavior pattern into three sensory modes: visual, auditory and tactile.
Visual type
Visual type, accounting for about 80% of the population. Visual people, as the name suggests, see the world through their eyes. They prefer to use visually relevant verbs such as seeing, seeing, and showing. They are able to get more information from video, like new, bright and beautiful things, and pay attention to grooming. Visual children follow the teacher most of the time in class, remembering what they saw, and if they can't see the teacher, it's as if they haven't heard anything. They are not easy to remember verbal instructions, and it is easy to have a "left ear in, right ear out" situation when they say to others. When communicating with a visual child, it is only when he looks at you that he can really hear what you say and the instructions you give.
Auditory type
Auditory type, accounting for 15%. They hear the world with their ears. Auditory people are able to quickly capture a variety of sounds, often without looking at each other's faces when speaking. When you go to a strange place, you can quickly learn the local dialect. Auditory children are mainly listening in class, accustomed to looking at the teacher with their ears instead of their eyes, and love to read out sounds when reviewing. For auditory children, they can help them learn by reading. When talking to auditory children, remember not to speak too quickly, so that the child does not miss the information.
Tactile type
Another 5% are haptic. They feel the world with their sense of touch. Touch is how they learn. Therefore, after hours, tactile children are often mistaken by teachers for naughty bags, which especially gives teachers and parents a headache. Because they always like to touch the east and touch the west. Some children always like to touch their mother's ears or other parts of the body when they sleep, so that children are basically tactile children. Tactile children like to experience everything first-hand, and role-playing games, such as playing policemen, doctors, etc., are the favorite of tactile children. For tactile children, if the parents have any instructions, it is best to repeat the instructions after saying them, so that he will be easier to remember.
Representation of different patterns of behavior
BEHAVIORAL EXPRESSION
EXPRESSION
So every time you receive a message, is there only 1 sense to work, and the other senses are busy with others? Not so, all the senses work together, but everyone prefers to use the senses separately.
Don't underestimate such a small difference, the difference caused by the end is still quite large.
Take the fact that children don't like to eat.
Visual children do not like to eat, and a large part of the reason may be because the meals are not good. If the food at each meal had a variety of colors and cute shapes, the visual child would eat happily.
Auditory children have the least requirements for eating, as long as it is not too difficult to eat, they basically eat and are not picky.
Tactile children are more troublesome in eating. What they care about is the taste, as long as they feel that the taste is not good, they do not eat, such as paste.
Therefore, for different types of children, the communication channels and methods we should focus on are different.
Learn the 3 magic weapons
CLEVER MOVE
Children aged 3-6 have initial language expression and communication skills. Language has also become the main form of communication between us and our children. After understanding that each child's behavior pattern will be different, what else can we do in terms of language patterns to make parent-child communication more benign?
Today I will teach you three magic weapons. Although our theme today is for children aged 3-6, these 3 communication magic weapons are applicable to the whole process of children's growth, and even in ordinary interpersonal communication, they are also very useful magic weapons.
#1
The first magic weapon - less "no" word
When you keep saying don't do something, it's reinforcing. So when you say to the child, "Don't write the word outside the grid, don't write the word outside the grid, don't write the word outside the grid", when you say important things 3 times, the child will often write the word outside the grid, which is the result of reinforcement.
When you're saying don't do anything, the biggest problem is that it's a negative language, an unenforceable instruction.
For example, when you tell a child not to mess around, what should he do? Put something on the table? In the cupboard? Or is it in his toy box? When he feels he doesn't know what to do, he just continues to do what he thinks. So what should we do? We have to tell him what to do, instead of what not to do. That is to say, we must learn to use positive language instead of negative language to communicate with children. For example, just now, we can say, baby, put the toy in the toy box.
#2
The second magic weapon is encouragement and praise
In fact, in the first year of the child's birth, we parents will use this magic weapon. When the child will climb for the first time, walk for the first time, and call out Mom and Dad for the first time, we will always be excited and can't help but clap our hands and say, Baby, you are so good, and then either kiss the child fiercely, or hug him fiercely.
However, as children grow older, our skills increase in a counter-proportional proportion, and even some parents later feel that their children are full of shortcomings and are not worthy of praise. In particular, some parents have strict requirements for their children's high standards, and in their eyes, children have nothing to praise.
So why does encouragement and praise help parent-child communication? Because when a child is encouraged and praised, first of all, his emotions will be more pleasant, people are the same, when the emotions are happy, they will be more willing to listen to what the other party says, and our children are the same. Secondly, when being praised, the person who is usually praised will focus more on his strengths and resources, his self-esteem will immediately increase, his energy will also increase, and he will be more motivated to try something.
#3
The third magic weapon – he must have his reasons
This sentence is not only a sentence when communicating with children, but also a belief, a belief that needs to be deeply rooted in the heart. Because in the process of growing up, even if the child is obedient and well-behaved, he will get into trouble or do something that we can't seem to understand. Only with such a belief can you truly understand the child.