Each child is unique and has a specific growth trajectory, and how high and how far they can fly is inseparable from family education. Only by mastering professional education methods can we understand the heart of the child. In this issue, let's learn the following five rules of education together.
Path dependencies
Man's habit is like walking, choosing a path, and people will continue along this road, which is "path dependence". The power of habits is powerful, and good habits are like walking, which determines the child's life. Let the child be punctual, learn to master and manage time, and become a reliable person; let the child exercise to release the pressure, it will become brave and confident; let the child do housework, starting from simple garbage removal, dish selection, laundry, experience the hardship and difficulty of parents, feel the payment and return, cultivate his self-care ability and sense of responsibility. Psychologist William James once said: "Sow an action, harvest a habit; sow a habit, harvest a character; sow a character, harvest a destiny." ”
The principle of natural punishment
The famous educator Rousseau believed that the punishment of a child should be the natural result of his mistakes. In other words, everyone has to bear the consequences of their actions, so that they can learn lessons and know that mistakes can be corrected. For example, if the weather gets colder, the child is not willing to add clothes, then do not add, let him go outside to be blown by the wind, frozen, maybe he will take the initiative to wear thick clothes. Let children taste the bitter fruit in their own faults, experience punishment, and naturally receive unforgettable lessons.
The Law of watches
You only need one watch to know the exact time, but two watches can make people feel confused because they don't know which one to use as the standard. This statement works just as well in family education, and when parents' educational concepts and methods are inconsistent, children will be overwhelmed. Parents must unify their concepts, communicate well before educating their children, and give their children consistent attitudes, requirements and goals. Even if there are differences and contradictions, avoid the child to solve it privately, and remember not to deny the other party in front of the child.
Inverted U-shaped hypothesis
This hypothesis, proposed by psychologist Robout, argues for a horizontal relationship between performance and stress. When the pressure is too small, the child loses motivation; the pressure is too great and becomes resistance. Zheng Yuanjie once explained it in the book, he said: "Father and mother want their children to spread their wings and fly high and travel thousands of miles. As a parent, if you compare your child to an airplane, if you really want your child to fly, you can only rely on thrust or pull. The pressure does not allow the plane to take off, it only allows the plane to stop in place; if the pressure is too high, the plane will disintegrate. "For children, the most effective way to relieve stress is to get the understanding, companionship, attention and support of their parents. Talk to your children more about your learning and life experience when you were young, analyze the difficulties in front of your children, and cheer and cheer your children up. The love and trust of parents is a powerful weapon for children to face challenges.
The swan effect
An old fisherman and his wife lived on a small island in the center of Swan Lake, and one autumn a flock of swans flew in from the north for the winter and stopped on the island. The fisherman and his wife are very happy, and from time to time they take out the feed for the chickens and the small fish to eat for the swans, and after a long time, the swans will accompany the boat and accompany the fisherman to fish. Winter came, and the swans did not choose to continue flying south. They forage on the lake during the day and roost on the island at night, and when the lake is frozen and they cannot get food, the old couple feeds until the lake thaws. Day after day, year after year, the fisherman and his wife gave their love until they had to move out of Huxin Island because of their old age. Then the swans disappeared. Instead of flying back to the south, he starved to death during the freezing of the lake the following year. The same is true of the child, unprincipled satisfaction, which will only make him weak, incompetent, and willful.
The scientific approach to education can do more with less, but don't ignore your child's age and personality traits. To flexibly apply these five rules of education, we will definitely cultivate better children.
Source: Family Education Newspaper Public Account, if there is infringement, please contact to delete.