As early as half a century ago, Mr. Tao Xingzhi pointed out that the whole secret of educating children lies in believing in children and liberating children. Our popular understanding is to appreciate and trust children.
Trust is a moral relationship between people, and trust is precious between friends and colleagues. In the family, there is also a need for trust between parents and children. As a parent, give your child full trust, and your child will be optimistic and confident.
Trust is an inspiring form of education. In family education, the trust of parents can make children feel that they are on an equal footing with their parents, so that they can be more respectful, loving, closer and more obedient to their parents. This not only enhances the parents' understanding of their children's inner world, but also enables parents to educate their children more targeted and achieve better results. On the contrary, if parents have an attitude of distrust or lack of trust in their children, they will not be able to understand their children's wishes and requirements, and their self-esteem and self-confidence will inevitably be hurt by this, and their trust in their parents will inevitably weaken. In this way, the effect of family education will be correspondingly weakened. Therefore, parents should trust their children in the process of educating their children.
Trusting the child will make the child think that it is the parents' recognition of his ability and the parents' great affirmation of him, so no child is willing to live up to this trust. As a result, this trust is transformed into a great motivation for the child to try to do these things well.
My daughter Yueyue's optimism and self-confidence are largely the result of my trust in her.
Yue Yue proposed to go to school when she was very young, but initially I did not agree for safety reasons. And when I made sure she could safely solve many of the problems on the way to school, I let the children go to school and go home on their own. Whenever she saw other parents holding their children's hands to send their children to the school gate, and still had to give thousands of instructions, Yue Yue always showed a proud expression, and in front of those children, she was full of confidence in her heart. There are many such things, as long as the conditions allow, I will boldly let the children try, and then give the children encouragement and appreciation. Under my "open-ended" education, Yue Yue has more and more awareness of "breaking through", daring to try anything, and the more difficult things are, the more it can stimulate her competitive spirit of experiencing a hand.
"What do you know", "you don't fool around", "you can't do it at all" is a phrase that many parents often hang on their lips, and they don't know that this is the most vicious language that hurts children's self-esteem and self-confidence. Whenever a child hears it, the enthusiasm for wanting to do things encounters a basin of cold water, and the parents do not trust me, what future do I have? It will even abandon itself and collapse because of this. Therefore, trust is the best "tonic" for children's growth.
This reminds me of the story of a young friend of mine who just graduated from Peking University:
This friend's grades in elementary school and junior high school were good, but in high school, she plummeted, and no matter how hard she tried, she always hovered around 25 in the class, so she was very distressed and confused.
During the winter vacation of the first year of high school, one of the girl's cousins who came home from Beijing to visit her parents came to visit her parents, it was natural that the adults in the family talked about her study, the girl's parents sighed continuously, and the cousin said that the little girl had a good image, Mandarin was also OK, and she had also learned piano and dance, although the academic performance was average, but if you worked harder, there must be no problem in going to the broadcast hosting major of the Beijing Broadcasting Institute (now the Communication University of China).
The cousin's words of trust made the girl suddenly see hope. Since then, the girl's entire learning state has undergone earth-shaking changes, getting up at six o'clock every morning, going out with a lunch box at half past six, having classes and no self-study. After eating in the evening, I continued to study until I turned off the lights at night and returned to the dormitory. She persisted in such days for two years.
Two years later, the girl was unexpectedly admitted to Peking University. Those two years of fiery learning have always been one of the best memories of the girl's life, at least until now, talking about this past, the girl still feels that it is the happiest time.
This is the charm of appreciation, this is the power of trust. The potential of each child is unlimited, the key is in the process of this child's growth, as parents, whether we give the child trust, whether to give the child a suitable goal and direction, whether to find the tipping point in the child.
The trust of parents and adult relatives in their children is a powerful force for children, which can enhance their children's enterprising spirit, with this spirit, children can jump over a roadblock and embark on the smooth road of life.
"Cheer yourself on and be confident all the time." I often tell myself this. "Believe in yourself! You'll be the best! "I told my daughter that too. That's how a confident dad raises a confident daughter.
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