Play middle school please pay attention
"What is war?" "Why are they fighting?" "Will Russia annex Ukraine?"
In recent days, the situation in Russia and Ukraine has become increasingly tense and has become a hot spot in the world media. The family, who did not understand international politics, was also affected and began to care about the topic of war.
In the face of "soul questioning", how should we correctly help children understand war and peace?
I remember when I was a kid, my impressions of foreign countries were guns, wars, refugees, and all kinds of unexpected disasters.
Until now, CCTV News still reports daily news about the war in Syria, terrorist attacks and so on.
Nowadays, the media is well-informed, and children may have an understanding of these terms at a very young age.
But as adults we often have such confusion,
Should children be made aware of the war? How to talk to your children about war and peace?
Every year, the state commemorates the victims of the "Nanjing Massacre" on the day of public sacrifice, and also designates September 3 as the anniversary of the victory of the Chinese People's War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression.
The country is constantly stressing to people not to forget the suffering caused by war, and hopes that everyone can remember this history, be grateful to those martyrs and warriors, and always love and defend peace.
When I was in elementary school, the school would organize us to visit the tombstones of martyrs every year during the Qingming Festival.
For those of us who are young, we don't understand what it means, but are happy because we can skip school.
But no matter how noisy we are, we can't suppress the mood of wanting to run in the park, and when the moment of silence comes, everyone does not have any small movements, quiet and abnormal, serious and abnormal.
Looking back now, I can't remember the scenes of playing in elementary school, but I always remember the scene of silence in front of the martyr's tomb.
When I was a student, I was often confused as to why the school always organized the watching of anti-war hero movies, and there were always texts about historical wars in textbooks.
I also used to think that war was too far away from us, but when I grew up, I found that the reason why we could be at peace was the result of the silent protection of those soldiers.
For this generation of Chinese children, the real war is too far away.
They are more exposed to the wars in games and TV series, across the screen, far away and unreal.
As if it is just a simple win or loss, accompanied by "victory" comes endless glory and brilliance, which makes people yearn for it; on the contrary, there are only a few scenes of death and injury, a string of numbers, bloody and cold.
They don't understand what war means for the world, for nations, for individuals, for society, for the economy, for culture, and so on—we as adults can't tell.
When we rush to open this topic without giving the right guidance, it may have a bad impact on the child: such as curiosity and desire for violence, habits and numbness to the death of others, and the pursuit and admiration of dominating pleasure.
Paul Bloom, a psychology professor at Yale University in the United States, believes that "a lot of cruelty stems from the appreciation of the normal and natural nature of others, such as the desire to punish those who we think have done wrong, and to get pleasure from it." ”
In other words, people instinctively feel happy because the party they think is "wrong" is being punished.
In the absence of guidance or misguided guidance, war can easily be interpreted by teenagers as a contest between "yes" and "wrong", "right" and "wrong".
The question they ask the most is "Who wins?" Then cheer for the strong, simply shout for the so-called "yes" and "right" sides.
Stills from "1917"
So, when a child asks a question about it, what should parents do? Is it perfunctory? In fact, when we know nothing about a war, it is far better to admit that "this is very complicated, and the father/mother is not clear", which is far better than blindly "popularizing science" for children. After all, most people may not understand a war when they explain it to an adult, let alone a child. In addition, when children ask about abstract concepts of war, parents may also refer to the following points.
1
Replace abstract descriptions with concrete stories
When we were young, our parents would scare us with figurative things: "If you don't obey any more, the old monster will come and take you away." We don't talk about whether this way of education is right or not, but we just want to show that a figurative thing — even a fictional character that children can't reach on a daily basis — can trigger a strong emotional resonance in children, bringing about fear or fear. If you talk to him about war, about artillery, about the people not talking about life, about the number of deaths, about the lack of diplomacy in weak countries, they will certainly not understand. But when you tell him about Wang Erxiao's cattle herding, about Liu Hulan's righteousness, and the embodiment of the impact of the war on a specific person, it is much easier for children to understand and easier to empathize.
Stills from "Chosin Lake"
2
Recommend some relevant books that match their age
The complexity of war cannot be summed up in a few simple words. You're right to say it's "scary" and "cruel," but in the end, the space hole is too general and too superficial. It is better to let the children slowly produce their own perceptions from the book. If the child's cognitive ability does not reach that level, he is most likely not interested in this kind of reading. But if one day the child takes the initiative to ask you what war is, what war means, and what other countries have to do with us, we can let them read it.
For example, younger children can read Yves Bunting's "Sparkling", and teenagers can read Hugo's "Les Misérables" and "War and Peace". There are also war-related and kid-friendly movies, such as The Sound of Music.
3
Let them learn about history
This is suitable for older children, especially those who are genuinely interested in this area.
4
Communicate with your child in a timely manner
Whether you tell a story to your child, or your child has watched books or movies by himself, it is recommended that parents ask their feelings after they have read it, so as to avoid some of the misconceptions and blind support of children mentioned in the above article about the war.
Stills from "Villain Ball on the Battlefield"
Many parents avoid letting their children pay attention to war-related news, but we need to let their children understand the many faces of the world. China's development is getting better and better, and many children do not know how to cherish these resources. What about food that is wasted? I can eat fresh every day. It doesn't matter if you don't study seriously, anyway, you can get into middle school with hard work. Buy whatever you want, anyway, my parents are so spoiled, I will be satisfied. But they don't know that there are many people in the world who can't eat a hot meal, have no money and no home, let alone learn knowledge.
Let children read more social news and read books, so that they know what the outside world is like, rather than just caring about their own small piece of "territory". The range of activities of the child's life is limited, but the child's imagination space is unlimited. Looking at the world more when they are young will directly affect the way they think in the future.
War is always a heavy topic, and behind it involves different levels of human ethics creeds, right and wrong. In the War between Ukraine and Russia, some people were concerned about oil prices and the stock market, some people were concerned about refugees, and some people were worried and uneasy. And our attitude toward war as parents will also affect how children view war and even how they see the world.
Of course, if my child doesn't take the initiative to ask, I don't think I will initiate this topic in front of him for the rest of my life.
If you can.