As we get older, we will find that the frequency of our children's contact with ourselves is gradually decreasing, which gives us the feeling that our relationship with our children is becoming more and more distant. I think most of these are the 3 reasons:
First, we have no reservations about them
Since the birth of the children, we are afraid to hold in the mouth for fear of falling in the hands, and give them almost all their time and energy, especially under the influence of the national family planning, many elderly people have only one child in front of them, and they are doubly doting on the child. In fact, this is a destructive education, unreserved coddling will only make us more dependent on them, but also let the children feel that parents do everything for them is taken for granted, which is not conducive to cultivating children's gratitude, but also will not let them personally feel our thoughts.
So don't always put your children first, even if life is boring, we have to find out what we like from this day after day, which is a positive attitude.
Second, I'm too nagging or too aggressive
No matter how old a person is, as long as he is self-aware, he usually does not like to chatter or be controlled, especially those who have already started a family, because they have a lot of stress to face every day, and they simply do not have the energy to cope with endless control. But older people have a common disease, that is, they like to use their own experiences to show children the way, our starting point is good, but the way of communication is not right, in the eyes of children this is a kind of pressure. Originally, the children came home to relax, but they were accused of it, which was uncomfortable for anyone, and over time the home was not their haven, and naturally they did not want to go home to visit us.
Parents must know that we can't manage our children for a lifetime, not to mention that they have grown up, have their own attitude towards the world, if they really encounter any difficulties, they will take the initiative to seek our help, they really don't want to say that they don't have to ask or force worry.
Third, there are too many generational gaps
We are a few decades apart from our children, and the pace of social development is so fast today that even two people who are one year apart may have completely different thoughts in their minds, and it is normal for there to be a generation gap between generations. Many elderly people are unaware of this, so they often use their own habitual thinking to ask children, which not only fails to achieve our goals, but also makes the relationship between them go farther and farther.
The generation gap can't be eliminated, but it can be minimized, and we can try to understand some of the things that interest the children, so that when they come home, the conversation between them will become more and the relationship between the two sides will be on the same level. I believe that children can see us doing this, but also better feel the love of their parents, and their dependence on this home will become deeper and deeper in the future.