This issue is a topic of great concern to both husband and wife, and many newspapers and periodicals have also carried out discussions in this regard, some people believe that there can be no reservations between husband and wife, on the grounds that: first, husband and wife are family members, and the family should get along without reservation; second, husband and wife are based on mutual trust, if there is reservation, indicating a lack of trust; third, only without reservation can husband and wife further deepen understanding and close the relationship between husband and wife.
Some people believe that there should be reservations between husband and wife, for the following reasons: first, although the husband and wife are a family, but as individuals, with relative independence, both parties can leave a piece of their own territory; second, if the husband and wife are too clear at a glance, they will lose their attraction to each other; third, if one of the spouses has some major mistakes before marriage, such as women losing their bodies, men have bad behavior, etc., not known by the other party, the other party will not care, once the other party knows, it will definitely leave a psychological shadow , and even breaks up the marriage. Such cases are not uncommon.
There are different opinions and different views, whether to stay or not to stay? This question cannot be absolute, but must be treated dialectically, and what should not be left behind must not be left behind, and what should be left must be left behind. The key is to grasp what should be kept and what should not be kept.
Which should be retained? Generally speaking, we should grasp the following points: First, the secret left behind will not cause any harm to the other party. If some women get married, in order to make their lives more emotional, they deliberately retain the beautiful events when they are girls for their own psychological life, which is usually called "private drawer", but also personal feelings, personality independence.
Second, the secret left behind is likely to cause great harm to the other party once it is exposed. This kind of content is best buried deep in the heart, because some of the unpleasant things that have been done before marriage are caused by their own ignorance, but as they grow older and their knowledge increases, they have carried out deep reflection on the mistakes they have made, have a correct understanding, and have proved them with good behavior. Therefore, don't tell the other person about the unpleasant experiences of the past and let the other party see the ugly aspects of the past. Some unpleasant and even humiliating experiences are caused by passivity, with the passage of time, in their own hearts have faded, the page of pain has been turned over, do not turn it over again, they have been in pain again, why should they suffer with their loved ones again, and even cause emotional harm to their loved ones? Not bringing one's own suffering to others is actually a virtue, not a deception, much less immorality.
And those psychological contents that enhance mutual understanding between husband and wife, close the relationship between husband and wife, and enable husband and wife to work together on the road of life and spend a better life together can be passed on to each other under the right circumstances.
Love needs to be honest, but it doesn't need to be absolutely honest!
Love needs to be preserved, and it needs to be retained!