Wen | Generation Lianhua
Watching the "Human World" TV series, at that time, I didn't like the role of the eldest brother Zhou Bingyi very much, and I felt that he had paid too little for the family.
But seeing the back, oh my God, although he has paid very little for the family, he has paid a lot for love, especially after entering the marriage, he is simply the best man in the world.
After marriage, his wife could not have children, and Zhou Bingyi directly shouldered the responsibility and said that he had problems.
Wife Hao Dongmei's parents are high-ranking cadres, originally said that it was good to go to the Zhou family to see, but as a result, Hao's father fell ill and did not go to Chengcheng, so he sent a secretary to visit.
The secretary took the wrong gift and returned the gift sent by the Zhou family intact, making the Zhou family very faceless.
At that time, the atmosphere in the Zhou family was very tense, Hao Dongmei wanted to explain, but Zhou Bingyi did not let her explain.
The two came out of the Zhou family, according to the routine of the previous TV series, their husband and wife should have a big fight, and in real life, they should also have a big fight.
What's the matter, your family's high-ranking cadres look down on people, what do you mean, and so on.
A psychologist once said, "Husband and wife quarrels are a normal form of catharsis and communication." ”
However, Zhou Bingyi did not play his cards according to the routine at all, and people did not argue with his wife.
He first analyzed the problem from the perspective of his own family, and then analyzed the problem from the perspective of his in-laws' family.
After analyzing the problems of the two companies, it is concluded that there is nothing to explain, that is, there is a gap between the two companies, and this gap causes unpleasantness.
"Yes, finish the job."
It should have been a quarrel, because Zhou Bingyi put himself in his wife's shoes, and the result was no quarrel.
Were you disappointed? No, only envy.
If our other half can also be like Zhou Bingyi, when encountering problems, it is not noisy, but first analyze and then conclude, and finally shake hands and make peace.
So, husband and wife in the world, if you want more love, how much love, who has leisure time to quarrel?
Therefore, a good way for couples to communicate is to put themselves in each other's shoes, think in a different position, feel empathy, and then understand and reconcile.
Instead of standing in your own point of view, subjectively accusing, to fight for right and wrong.
Put yourself in each other's shoes, this way of communication understands each other, reduces contradictions, naturally there will be no quarrels, and the relationship between husband and wife is happy and harmonious.
The other couple in the play communicates in a completely different style.
During the New Year, the fa xiao who lived in the guangzi film gathered for dinner, including Zhou Bingkun's Fa Xiao Guoqing and his wife Wu Qian.
After Wu Qian married Guoqing, she lived with Guoqing's parents.
Later, Guoqing's sister's family also moved in.
Wu Qian complained that two small earthen houses, the palm-sized place, crowded eight people. Home is not like home at all, I think, shelter is not as good.
It is reasonable to say that Wu Qian is just complaining, the fact is that fact, and it is indeed crowded with eight people, and does not let people complain?
As a result, Guoqing was angry on the spot, without any communication link, directly picked up the hat from the table and hit it, and shouted in his mouth: "Can you not lose people here?" ”
The idea of National Day is that if there is something not to say here, it is not right to say it here. Although the facts are true, they cannot be said.
If he can consider it from his wife's point of view, because life is stressful, it is not impossible for his wife to complain.
However, the performance of the national day does not have any empathy, he believes that it is humiliating to complain outside, and ignoring what the essence of the matter is, in the words of the sketch actor, it is a deviation, and it is impossible to analyze and summarize.
If there is no communication between husband and wife, but a simple and rude solution, the contradiction can only be intensified, then the relationship between husband and wife is difficult to harmonize.
Put yourself in the shoes of the other party and feel empathy, in order to understand each other's difficulties and feel each other's grievances. Then adjust your mindset and empathize with the other party, so as to minimize the contradiction, in order to normalize the relationship.
Reading Mr. Qian Zhongshu's novel "Siege of the City", the final ending of Fang Hongwei and his wife Sun Roujia was actually doomed.
The communication between their husband and wife is only to argue about right and wrong, to see who has the upper hand.
The first time Sun Roujia returned to her in-laws' house, she did not kneel and pray, which made the old man of the Fang family unhappy, and the meal was not pleasant, and the new clothes were sprinkled with wine by the children.
The two came out of the house, did not discuss the matter, but argued from the international students to Fang's father was an old antique, and then Fang Hong gradually ridiculed Sun Roujia for not staying in school, and as for the matter of clothes, it was never mentioned again.
Later, the old people on both sides will kiss the family, and it is not pleasant to meet each other, and they hate each other's family.
Mr. Qian wrote: "The two of them were embarrassed and had enough to breathe on each other. Hong gradually became angry with his wife, and at the same time found it convenient to be angry and have a wife.
Once upon a time, I had to be smothered in my heart, I couldn't vent at will, and no one was my own punching bag. Now it's different, and you can't be as happy to lose your temper with anyone as you can be to your wife. ”
Of course, Sun Roujia also thinks like this, and whoever loses her temper is not as direct as with her lover.
Husband and wife treat each other as a punching bag, there is no intention of thinking about each other at all, in their bones is who wins who is the boss, how can such a husband and wife relationship spend the rest of their lives together? Walking through a small half of life is already a big profit.
There is a saying in Buddhism that goes like this: "Anyone who can stand in the perspective of others and think of others is compassion." ”
This passage is more general and can be used in any relationship. Being able to think of others is compassion, so why can't this compassion be used for the people you love?
Whether it is in film and television dramas or in real life, if the relationship between husband and wife wants to be harmonious, they must communicate from time to time.
There are many ways to communicate, and putting yourself in the shoes of the other person, thinking and acting in a different position, is the most down-to-earth way.
Husband and wife are originally two independent individuals, bound together because of fate, each other's personality, living habits, etc. are all in need of running-in.
If you encounter problems, do not think about the other party, only want to consider from your own point of view, most likely will cause disputes, and then quarrels, the relationship is difficult to harmonize.
Every couple is a fate cultivated in the past life, the fate is there, we must cherish life, encounter problems to communicate and solve well, think more about each other, more understanding of each other, is to cultivate their own happiness.
If the other party also thinks about you, then it is a two-way rush, it is simply the happiest couple in the world, and they are happy with each other.
If you can't think about each other, the relationship is particularly tense, you are unhappy, the other party is not happy, and the relationship is difficult to last.
The famous physicist Albert Einstein said: For me, the meaning of life lies in putting myself in the shoes of others, worrying about the worries of others, and enjoying the happiness of others.
For couples, if they can't think about each other and only think about themselves, they are already very selfish, let alone for the sake of others, how can they be happy?