01
There is a saying in this world that the better women are, the harder it is to find a partner.
In real life, if a woman is excellent in every way, looks beautiful, works well, is very profitable, and has a good family, then the less she can find the right person.
We often hear people say that the more a girl reads, the more difficult it will be to marry out in the future, and will be disliked by men for having too high a degree and not easy to control, so when a girl wants to study abroad, wants to go to graduate school, and take the doctorate, she will be stopped by the people around her with this sentence.
All along, we have thought that a woman must be excellent, as long as she is good enough, then she can find more excellent women, not some very ordinary men, but in fact, when women become more and more excellent, it will become more difficult to find a partner.
Because if you are not excellent, your class will not let you meet those excellent men, only meet the men of your class, and you will meet what kind of men you are in. This is not without reason.
However, after going to a higher class, it is easier for women to meet good objects? This is not the case, and the reality is even harsher than ideal.
02
Speaking of this topic, I suddenly remembered that I once saw the annoyance of a girl with a height of 175 on the Internet, and she said that it was too difficult to find a partner.
We girls are often very envious of tall girls, think that a girl looks tall and good-looking, has a lot of natural advantages, wears anything good, and is more eye-catching in the crowd.
But in fact, she has a lot of troubles in marriage and love, she does not want to find shorter than herself, must be taller than herself, but in her circle, there are very few tall boys, and among the few people who want to find a heartbeat, there are even fewer, either she likes each other but the other party does not like her, or the other party likes her, but she does not like each other.
In the same way, it is difficult for excellent girls to find objects, in fact, it is the same reason as this tall girl who is difficult to find objects, because she is too good, it is really difficult to find upwards, there are not many boys who are better than her, and the range of options is very small.
This is a very important reason why excellent girls are not good at finding objects, because girls are often looking upwards, few people will look downwards, who does not want to find a better than themselves, the worst also to find a match with their own.
However, as men, they do not like too good girls, because too good girls are very assertive, very their own ideas, they are afraid of not being able to control, so they only dare to find the kind of people who are far from themselves.
03
There is a theory in the marriage market that divides women into ABCD four, and men are also classified, with A being optimal and decreasing in order.
D and other girls can be found in C and other boys, C and other girls in B and other boys, B and other girls in A and other boys, then A and other girls will be left, because there is no one who can match her, unless she lowers the requirements and looks in BC, however, the more excellent girls, the more ugly it is to look for boys who are inferior to themselves.
The hardest to find is the A class girls, followed by the B class girls, because they are really good, the range of options is very small, which is why they are finally left.
Many people say that since it is difficult to find a partner in the marriage market since you are a good woman, don't be a good woman. Such an idea is grossly wrong.
Giving up being a good woman in order to find someone and getting into marriage will only make your life worse and worse, and your marriage won't get any better.
Because if you are not excellent, you are a weak person in marriage, and the role of the weak person is destined to be bullied, you may still have a hard time fighting back, because you have no more capital, you have a low income, you can't live a better life without you, you may become the frog who is boiled in warm water, and slowly get used to the environment.
04
Even if it is more excellent and more difficult to find a partner, we must also try to climb up and become an excellent woman.
We become good women, not to have a light on our faces, not to find a better object, but to be responsible for our own lives, for the people who love us.
Just like we study, we go to a good university, get a higher degree, not to be able to marry better, but to achieve our own achievements, in order to achieve the pursuit of our own life.
Just like Gu Ailing, she strives to become a world champion, not to marry better, but also to make her life more exciting, in order to be able to control her own life,
Only excellent girls can control their own lives, only excellent people enter marriage, so that they will not be bullied by marriage, and they will not suffer so much in marriage.
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Article illustration | Stills from "The Leftovers Are King"