A few days ago, I saw a new mother's question: When a child cries and says, "I don't want to grow up, you will die", how to talk to her about "death"?
One day, the child was disobedient, and at that time, he was also angry, so he replied to the child very angrily, "You are not studying hard now, when you are older and your parents are dead, what do you do?" The next day, the child cried and asked me, "Mom, why do you die when I grow up?" I don't want you to die. She said she was scared and crying sadly. Instantly find yourself wrong and shouldn't say that. How do you answer the question of how your child will die when she grows up?
As a mother, I feel the same way about this issue, so let's briefly talk about my understanding.
The child cannot accept the sudden death of his parents, which on the one hand shows the weight of your child's mind, the relationship is close, no one can beat; on the other hand, it also shows that the child's imagination and logical thinking ability are gradually developing and improving, and he can imagine his own miserable situation when there is no parent around through a simple sentence.
I remember when Cute Was more than 2 years old, every time I sang "Only Mother is Good in the World", he would flatten his mouth and cry in protest. I'm wondering, isn't this song promoting mommy? Why do children cry when they hear it? Am I singing too hard?
Later, cute more grown up and learned to express it in sentences, he told me that the song sounded too "bitter". He only liked the first one, not the latter.
Only the mother is good in the world, and the child with the mother is like a treasure, thrown into the arms of the mother, and happiness cannot be enjoyed. No mother is the most distressed, no mother's child is like a grass, leaving the mother's embrace, where to find happiness?
Every time he hears "a child without a mother is like a grass", he will make up for the scene of his loneliness after losing his mother.
"Mom, I don't want to be a motherless child, I want you to be by my side all the time."
Things are changing rapidly, and no one can say which tomorrow or accident will come first. There must still be a life education, and the child cannot be taught to use the method of escape and self-deception because he cannot accept "death".
Pick a high-quality picture book related to it and accompany the child to read it several times, and the child will naturally be able to draw energy and experience from it, and learn to face "death" and parting in the right way.
I personally recommend the Chickball Ball Life Friendship Picture Book Series. This set of books consists of two volumes, namely "Chicken Ball and Sunflower" - life education, "Chicken Ball Ball and Little Hedgehog" - friendship education.
The storyline of these two books is close to the daily life of children, the painting style is gentle and cute, and the language Q is cute and interesting, which is especially in line with the reading taste of young children.
Talking about death is not as serious and heavy as in the traditional sense, and there is no slightest avoidance and deception, and children are taught to face death squarely, learn to vent their inner sorrows, learn to correctly view the death of relatives and friends, and understand the cyclical process of life.
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1
Chicken Ball and Sunflower
Below, I will briefly describe the storyline of "Chicken Ball and Sunflower" for your reference.
One day, when the little chickadee was out for a walk to forage, he came across a seed.
"Seeds, seeds, seeds with patterns. Twitter, looks delicious, I eat! "At this point, the seed spoke." Wait, wait until tomorrow, you can eat the leaves. ”
In order to be able to eat the leaves, the little chicken ball resisted the desire to eat directly at the moment and waited to eat the next day.
The next day, the chickball ball came to the hillside again, and the seeds grew two small leaves as promised.
"Leaves, leaves, two small leaves. Twitter, looks very tender, I eat it! ”
At this time, the leaf spoke again.
"Wait a little longer and more leaves will grow."
Under the continuous guidance of the seeds, the chicken ball has not been willing to eat, but patiently waited, waited, waited, and went to the hillside every day to help pull grass, water, and take care of carefully.
After a period of time together, Chickball and Sunflower developed a deep friendship. Sunflowers have taught chickball a lot of knowledge, the name of insects, the type of flower, when it will rain, etc., and will also help the chickball ball to block the rain, block the poisonous sun in summer; the chickball ball will send sunflowers a four-leaf clover symbolizing luck, will help sunflowers catch insects, water and pull grass, and will accompany sunflowers to talk and play every day.
The chicks no longer want to eat sunflower leaves.
"Sunflowers, like the sun, sparkling and shining. It's a good mood to be by your side! ”
However, flowers blossom and thank you is a fate that sunflowers cannot escape. Even if the chicks go to distant ponds every day to bring buckets of water to water, it will not help.
Before long, the sunflower stalk bent, and the leaves were yellow and dry.
One day in early autumn, The Sunflower said in a faint voice, "Little chickball ball, goodbye... Thank you..." After saying that, he collapsed. Sunflower seeds fly down from the dried sunflowers.
"Sunflowers, sunflowers..."
Sunflower did not answer.
The sunflowers are dead after all. However, the article does not directly mention "death", but uses actions such as "falling down" and "no answer" to show that the sunflower has passed away. For children, such "death" is obviously more graphic, softer, and more acceptable.
Big tears flowed from the eyes of the little chicken ball.
"I don't want that, don't." The little chickball ball is on the hillside, crying, crying...
At this time, a small, cute sound sounded at the feet of the chicken ball.
"Chickball, don't cry."
"Don't cry."
"Next summer, please come up the hill."
"Definitely here!"
The following summer, the chicks ball came to the hillside as promised, and a large field of sunflowers bloomed on the hillside.
Chickball successfully found a partner, conceived a baby, and became a parent. The new generation of chickballs and the new generation of sunflowers began a new friendship.
Of course, this part can also be interpreted as a chicken ball bringing his parents and siblings to play in the sunflower grove. But I think that the chickball ball becomes the interpretation of parents, which can highlight the meaning of personal growth and the meaning of changes in life cycles.
As a picture book for life education, "Chicken Ball balls and sunflowers" does not deliberately weaken our sadness in the face of the "death" of relatives and friends, but tells us that we can use loud crying to vent our inner sadness. Time will take away our sadness.
Life is a cyclical process, and perhaps the person we love the most has passed away, but she/he will always leave a seed of love and let love continue to take root and sprout.
We can tell children, "You are the seed of love." Even if one day Mom and Dad are gone, love will not be interrupted, because you are the continuation of love, the symbol of love, the meaning of love. ”
Of course, I do not recommend that parents over-render death to their children, let alone use threats to explain death, which will only bring a strong sense of insecurity and anxiety to children, and always live in the fear that parents may die at any time. Over time, children may become afraid of the dark, crying, clingy, and afraid of life.
2
Chicken Ball and Little Hedgehog
As a companion to "Chickball balls and sunflowers", "Chickball Balls and Little Hedgehogs" is equally warm and moving, focusing on interpersonal communication.
The autumn wind blew the cosmos around. The chicks ball went out for a walk. Twitter, click, click, click, click, click, click,
At the beginning of the story, it is the scene of the little chicken ball walking, using a large number of onomatopoeia, which is catchy to read, easy to understand, and very graphic.
The chicks ball came to the edge of the forest and found a group of little squirrels singing and trying to pick the ball with sticks.
Thorny, pointed chestnut shell with fragrant, sweet chestnuts inside.
But when they turned the thorn ball over with a branch, they found that the small thorn ball was not the sweet chestnut imagined, but a talking "chestnut monster".
The little squirrels were frightened and scattered. Only the chickball did not escape, and chatted face-to-face with the talking thornball.
"I'm a hedgehog chestnut. Who are you? ”
"I'm a chickball. Are you holding a four-leaf clover? ”
"Yes! It's a gift for Mom. Chickball, go to my house and eat chestnuts! ”
"Oh well! I really want to taste chestnuts. ”
So the little hedgehog went home with a chickball ball. The little hedgehog has spikes on its body, and when it walks hand in hand, it will accidentally prick a small chicken ball.
"I'm sorry, chickball."
When he noticed that the spikes on his body hurt the chickball ball, the little hedgehog apologized very politely. And take care of the chick ball all the way, be especially careful when pushing the chick ball on the high waterfall, and try to avoid the spikes on the body from piercing the opponent. As they pass the wild grape tunnel, the little hedgehog sticks its belly to the ground and slowly walks forward.
Chickball wondered, "Why are you walking like this?" ”
"I'm afraid to crush wild grapes!"
The little chicken ball found that the hedgehog full of spikes was kind and kind, and it was not as difficult to approach as it seemed.
Back at home, Chestnut the Hedgehog gave the clover to her mother hedgehog. Just as they sat down to eat the chestnuts, they found a fox staring at them.
The little hedgehog made a clever move, covering the chestnut shell on the head of the chick ball, and disguised the chick ball as a small hedgehog with spikes. The mother hedgehog put up the spikes on her back and bravely fought the fox.
The bravery of the hedgehog mother and the cleverness of the little hedgehog helped the chick ball to escape the disaster and successfully drove away the predator fox. Everyone sat down and enjoyed a sweet and delicious chestnut feast.
The prickly, pointed little hedgehog, the prickly, pointed chestnut shell, two good friends, are small thornballs.
This story has both tips about friendship, watch people and things not only look at the surface, get closer to others, you will find more advantages in each other; there are also praises about family affection, parents will fight hard to protect their children, even if they are weak, they will not give up easily; there is also guidance on escape skills, when encountering life danger, we can learn camouflage like animals and plants in nature.
In fact, children are not as fragile and helpless as we think, they are far stronger and braver than we think. As long as we express and guide in the right way, children can face up to and accept the fact that their loved ones will eventually "die".