【Peace of Mind】
【Core Tip】For the growth of children, companionship is the best love. Parents work very hard indeed, but when the child needs it most, the parents are not in front of it, which is the harm to the child...
In the blink of an eye, the winter vacation has been almost two weeks. The class WeChat group has been very lively, and the students have posted the excitement of their holidays. However, a little boy in my class has not moved.
I called and asked, Dad was in a hurry. Say that children carry it every day, but they are unwilling to send it. I said that our purpose is to promote children's learning, not to send WeChat itself.
The child's father said: "The child is too individualistic and has problems communicating with his parents. I didn't listen to my mother," and my mother said she couldn't manage it, so let me come back and manage it. He and I are simply incompatible. ”
From the time the child was more than one year old, the husband and wife went out to work and did not return home for many years. When the child went to school in the first grade, the mother came back to see the child, the father cried every time he left home, and now in the sixth grade, the child is no longer willing to communicate with the parents, and the parents are helpless to the child in addition to reprimanding.
I said that you owed it to your children, you worked very hard, you were not there when your children needed you most, you hurt your children deeply, and you continue to hurt today. Please put down the shelf where your father is high, and please talk to your wife, should you treat your son well? He is also a 12-year-old child in the sixth grade, and our love for children should not be hurtful in a way and as a result. What are you working outside for? Is it for today?
Dad said that driving outside, 20 hours a day, when tired and sleepy, he punched himself in the face.
I said please write down your experience and feelings of working part-time, and write down your concern and love for your children.
Dad did it, and his son also sent WeChat.
At the dinner table the next day, Dad poured out his hardships of working outside and his concern for his wife and children, and he also shed tears, and his children also shed tears. Dad said that it turns out that the child has feelings, and he must also have more love and understanding for his son.
I said that when parents change, children change. You belong to the fastest and best family. I hope you keep going.
At eleven o'clock in the evening, the child's father sent a letter to his son.
Seeing the new father-son relationship, bless you!
——Teacher Li Yuanlan's family education guidance record
2022.1.27
Dad's voice to his son late at night
Dear son, it is eleven o'clock in the evening, and Dad wants to say a few words to you.
Dad owes you too much in the past ten years!! Since you were born more than a year old, your parents went out to work, you can only come back once a year, you can't stay at home for a few days, and you have worked in a hurry, looking at your unwilling eyes, your parents are also helpless, this goes out, your parents are working outside for 5 years, until the first grade, your mother did not come back!
Mom has no culture and yells at you every day, making you introverted and not talkative. Son, you are now 13 years old, and some reasons should also be understood, mom is a waiter in a restaurant, cleaning up hundreds of tables every day, the service is not good, and you are insulted and ridiculed by guests. No way, you have to work, for the sake of life!
Dad is a driver, running transportation on the road every day, high-intensity work every day, in order to save time to eat, sometimes three or five minutes to eat, sometimes only one meal a day, sometimes how can you get up when you are tired? Only pour cold water on your head, twist your legs, punch yourself in the face, and persevere, or for the sake of life!
Your parents force you to study, but they don't want you to go our back road and want you to have a happy home in the future. The way your parents taught you is not right, and you should not be beaten.
Why did you stay motionless when you hit you? Why not run? Why not admit a mistake and take a soft? Why only hold your head curled up in the corner, let the two of us vent, after beating you, your parents are also distressed, and your parents are also reflecting on their own behavior.
Since communicating with your Chinese teacher Li, although I have not met Teacher Li, the voice is an amiable and approachable teacher. We have to learn from Teacher Li.
Mom and Dad want to make a change: once or twice is not good at what, don't we have been working hard? You have surpassed your mother now, if you can graduate from junior high school, you will be like your father, if you can get into high school, you will surpass your father.
Everyone comes into this world, has their own place, and they all have their own value. Mom and Dad want you to be loyal and honest.
Everyone has a piece of the sky, be a good mechanic, be a good service staff, and your parents will support you. As long as you are happy, as long as you are happy, as long as you are healthy, your parents will be satisfied!
——Class 64 The father of the little boy
(The author of this article: Li Yuanlan, an outstanding teacher of Dongping County Experimental Middle School, a member of the National Class Teacher Growth Research Association, a director of the Moral Education Research Branch of primary and secondary schools of the China Education Association, and the host of the Heart Language Home Visit Studio.) ）