#愿孩子慢慢长大 #
Today, tell a true story that has bothered me for many years. I am a baby with high needs (this is what I learned a lot of knowledge after I grew up with children), so I was very insecure, resulting in the withdrawal of milk has been very unsmooth. In desperation, my mother sent me back to my grandmother's house. I hope that in this way, I can successfully quit breastfeeding, but the unfamiliar environment makes me even more insecure, and I can only turn to my grandmother's comfort to fall asleep. However, what I didn't expect was that this experience of quitting breastfeeding was talked about by my grandmother, and even said it every time.
As a young man, I didn't react much to the amusement of my elders. Slowly, over time, I found something different. Not only relatives and friends who know each other will make fun of this matter, but even many distant relatives have begun to ridicule, even Grandma's neighbors and colleagues. I was in elementary school by then, and I knew exactly what they were saying. Every time they brought it up, I hid in embarrassment and didn't want to get involved. If the mother was present, she would impatiently interrupt the other person's ridicule and hastily change the subject.
I thought that this matter would be slowly forgotten by everyone over time, but I did not expect that it would become a nightmare that had plagued me for more than twenty years. When I was in middle school, I attended boarding school, spent less time at home, and never heard my elders mention it again. I sealed it in my memory, not thinking about it, not thinking about it. After college, I only spent time at home during the New Year's Holidays. It was also at that time that I realized the seriousness of the matter.
During the Chinese New Year, there will be many relatives and friends visiting each other, and it is also the time for parents and grandparents to reminisce about the old visits. Finally, in the lively atmosphere, some elders mentioned the "funny things" of my abstinence period, and everyone laughed and the people who mentioned it were triumphant. I turned my head to look at my mother, who had an embarrassed expression and hurriedly said: It's all over... The next night, I felt like I was sitting on a needle in a haystack, incredibly depressed. This time, I didn't save face for the elders.
I didn't explode my emotions at the time of the party, and I knew it was rude. After the party, I sent a long text to the family group. That said...
"I hope no one will bring it up again, not now, and not in the future!" If I made a mistake when I was a year old, I apologize for my actions at the time. As an elder, please teach me in the right way. Instead of taking pleasure in it, I have been embarrassed for more than twenty years because of your pleasure. Please respect me and my mother. If this is a punishment for me, more than twenty years, is it not enough? Finally, I implore you again not to mention this past. ”
There was a long silence in the family group, and I knew that they had seen it, and it was clear that no one would ever mention it again. I was finally freed from this, and this time, it was too long.
In fact, during the age of 3-4, the sense of social distance has begun to germinate. They will ask for a small tank top and underwear, and they will ask that adults are not watching when they go to the toilet. They have empathy and shame. So, when I have a child, I pay a lot of attention to the child's psychological counseling, and I don't want my story to happen to the child again. At the same time, when I hear an elder repeatedly mention something that a child has done, I will kindly remind the other party that I can ask the child if he is willing to hear the elder mention it again, and most of the children will refuse.
I hope that parents can conduct psychological counseling for their children in a timely manner and pay more attention to their children's mental health. Modern society is stressed not only by adults, but also by children. The pressure from the outside world is not small, so the pressure at home will be reduced. Let the "fun things" of childhood stay in childhood! Instead of looking at the past, focus more on the happiness and joy of the present.
I do the crafts with the kids