Wen | Cheats Jun
Near the New Year, a mother left a message in the background, telling her troubles.
It turned out that her mother had been coming to the city to help her with her baby for more than ten years. Her family has two children, now the eldest son has gone to the upper grade of primary school, can go home by himself, the younger daughter is also in the first grade, can eat at school at noon, there is a delayed class in the evening, you can also go home with your brother, the husband's attitude towards his mother has changed.
His words implied that we forcibly left the old man here away from his homeland, and the old man must have wanted to go home. Now that the child is older, she finally has freedom and can take advantage of her body to live a leisure life.
But being a daughter is very tangled. On the one hand, she understood her husband's intentions. Living under the same roof as her mother, there are many disputes between the mother-in-law and the son-in-law, and many times she is also troublesome to coordinate between the two sides in the middle. Especially in recent years, when the child is older, the contradiction between the husband and her mother is more intense.
She tried to tell her mother what her husband meant, and her mother reacted very calmly, but the mother and daughter were connected, and she could see the cold heart of her mother.
Think about it, my mother came here to help with the baby from a retirement, and now she is more than 70 years old, my father died early, and my mother went back to live alone.
The mother has been accustomed to living in the city for more than ten years, and now she lets her return to her hometown live in a cold and quiet place, and as a daughter, she can't bear it. Although her sister can take care of her sister in the neighboring village of her hometown, she always feels that she owes a lot to her mother.
She really wanted her mother to stay, but she was powerless. On the one hand, as the brothers and sisters grow up, the two children need to sleep in separate rooms, and the three-bedroom room is not enough; on the other hand, the mother is not in good health, a little headache and brain fever to be hospitalized, and the medical insurance reimbursement in different places is very troublesome. Now she was torn between right and wrong.
◆ After the old man with the baby releases light and heat, where to go?
To tell the truth, nowadays, the elderly helping their children with their babies has become a "feature" in our society. After all, young people are under great pressure to work, the cost of asking for a nanny is large, and it is not very realistic for bao mom to take a baby full-time, and the elderly have become the main force with a baby.
But who has ever thought that when the child is old enough to stand on his own, where should the old man go?
Those who are still healthy and eager to return to their hometown to meet their old partners are naturally more satisfied when they return to their hometown. But what if the old man is old and has no nostalgia for his hometown?
In fact, many families will face the same problems as this mother.
Fortunately, some families realized it in advance and began to act. It's working well so far.
A friend of mine gave birth 8 years ago, and my in-laws came to the city to help with the baby. Considering that the in-laws only have one son, her husband, she advised the in-laws to sell the house in their hometown, and the husband and wife paid some more money to buy a small set in the city.
At first, the old two were unwilling, after all, it was their own old house and old roots, who didn't want the leaves to fall back to the roots? But after doing a few ideological work, the in-laws agreed.
So the family hurried to action, the old family house sold 300,000 yuan, the small two invested 200,000 yuan, for the elderly to buy a small house near their own community.
Nowadays, the houses in my hometown have long been unpopular, and they cannot be sold, and the houses in the city have more than doubled compared with before. The old man has his own house again, and his sense of belonging to the city is stronger.
Now that the children are older, the old man usually helps to pick up and drop off from school, returns to his home at night, and takes the child to the old man to sit around on weekends. It is to maintain the distance of "a bowl of soup", they and the elderly get along very harmoniously, the old man's old age has also been properly placed, and the husband has a lot less worries.
Does my friend's thinking also have something to learn from?
Senior nursery, psychological counselor. Understand the parenting and psychology, but also pay attention to the self-growth and family management of baoma, and strive to be the intimate person of mothers.
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