Seeing such a passage on the Internet contains a certain philosophy:
The so-called love, in fact, is to remember every moment with the heart of "grace" to reverently "love" the person you should love all your life, the so-called redemption, in fact, although you "saved" him, but with a lifetime can not "redeem" him, a lifetime can not "redeem" your inner guilt and regret.
After reading this emotional and reasonable quote, I have a deep understanding, just like when we meet a woman we love deeply, men always like to transform themselves into protectors to shield women from the wind and rain, this strong "desire to protect" seems to be like genetic inheritance to implement every man, but while protecting women, men also have to protect themselves, without their own premise basis, what can men take to protect their beloved women?
Of course, from another point of view, while protecting women, men have ever calmed down to think about whether the other party is worth protecting themselves, and whether we need us to shield them from the wind and rain, love is a wishful interaction, not a self-talking unrequited love, if the other party does not care about our pay, nor does it care about our kindness and love, then where is the meaning of this kind of giving? These are questions that we cannot avoid in the face of feelings, but they are questions that we have to answer.
Li Dehong (pseudonym) suffered from severe depression and even wrote a suicide note at one point to prepare for the pill, and the reason why he got to such a bad point is attributed to the marriage in 2018 that lasted only 19 days, and all of this began with a meal.
At that time, Li Dehong met 39-year-old Yingying (pseudonym) at a dinner party, and later he learned that Yingying had a marriage history, with a 17-year-old daughter, and Yingying was a massage girl who was engaged in a degenerate profession because of her family's poverty, but all this was nothing in Li Dehong's view.
According to Li Dehong, he has always had the concept of "redemption", although Yingying's profession is despised, but he believes that Yingying must have her bitterness because of this, if it were not for the compulsion of life, I believe that no woman would be willing to do such a thing, if she can be rescued in time, I believe that Yingying will definitely cherish the current life more.
It was under his idea that Li Dehong recruited Yingying into his online game studio and offered a monthly salary of 10,000 yuan, hoping that she could start her life again, and the two changed from strangers to superiors and subordinates.
Although Yingying has a wonderful figure and a good face, but Li Dehong is not moved, because his heart has long been dusty, Li Dehong said that he had a first love girlfriend with very good feelings before, but the other party unfortunately died of leukemia, since the death of his first love girlfriend, he can no longer fall in love with other women, he has been single for 10 years.
Originally, life was so plain, but Li Dehong's mother suddenly broke her leg, and since then, the family has begun to urge him to marry, hoping that he can solve personal lifelong events, and Li Dehong's heart is particularly anxious.
As a last resort, Li Dehong set his sights on Yingying, and then took Yingying home and officially introduced her to his family, but In order to take care of Yingying and her family's feelings, Li Dehong hid Yingying's previous disgraceful history from his family.
The two received a marriage license in June 2018 and set the wedding in September 2018, in order to marry Yingying, Li Dehong gave her a dowry of 200,000 yuan, more than 70,000 yuan of jewelry, plus other wedding expenses, Li Dehong spent about 300,000 yuan for this wedding.
However, a few days after the marriage, Li Dehong found that his wife's previous guests were constantly calling, busy with private work, and often people asked her out, and as a result, the wife ran to find the so-called colleagues in the past, and took the initiative to clearly express that she wanted to return to the old business, which was very bad for Li Dehong, he sternly expressed his opposition, but Yingying could not listen, she threatened That Li Dehong's opposition was disrespectful to her, which bound her freedom to choose her profession, and even in the end she also provocatively said to her husband Li Dehong that she had met with her colleagues to see how Li Dehong could treat her.
Humiliated Li Dehong chose to divorce the other party and ended the 19-day marriage, but not long after the formalities were completed, his ex-wife Yingying and his girlfriend suddenly took the initiative to find him and confess his mistake, and begged him for forgiveness with a handful of snot and tears, and The soft-hearted Li Dehong chose to forgive, but it was this wrong decision that made Li Dehong fall into the abyss, thus making Yingying challenge and break through his bottom line step by step, Li Dehong talked about the humiliation brought to him by his ex-wife, he still feels angry and bitter.
After Li Dehong forgave Yingying, he did not tell his family about these things that happened before, the wedding was held in September as scheduled, and all the 40,000 gifts received by the wedding were handed over to Yingying, but after the wedding, Li Dehong repeatedly proposed to apply for a new marriage certificate, but Yingying was long-delayed.
In addition, the relationship between Yingying and Li Dehong's mother-in-law is also very bad, Yingying basically does not do much housework, and does not look like a wife at home, Li Dehong privately expressed to Yingying that she hopes that she can be filial to her mother, after all, her mother may not have much time, as long as Yingying can be filial to her mother, Li Dehong said that she can listen to Yingying's instructions in anything.
However, Yingying, who often brushes short videos, takes the poisonous chicken soup on the Internet to rebuke Li Dehong, "Your mother's misfortune was caused by you and your father, why should I bear it?" The two had many arguments over this.
Because of the tension between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the relationship between the two also had problems, and later Yingying suddenly ran away from home in December 2018 on the grounds that Li Dehong drove her out of the house and she needed to treat uterine fibroids.
In order to find his ex-wife, Li Dehong contacted Yingying's colleagues through the network platform, so that he learned that Yingying went to other places and began to return to her old business, and was inseparable from an old man, and colleagues also told Li Dehong that Yingying was a woman who loved money, and she was cheating men everywhere for money.
Because Li Dehong was worried about Yingying's embarrassment in living outside, he kept transferring money to her, and the old man was Yingying's regular customer, so he could often take Yingying's mobile phone to check, and when he learned that the person who transferred the money was Li Dehong, the old man made a suggestion.
He asked Li Dehong to give him 20,000 yuan, and the old man took care of Yingying in his own name for a period of time, and then during this period, he promised to slowly tell Yingying how much effort and effort Li Dehong had put in order to save this relationship, hoping to make Yingying change her mind and stay away from this degenerate industry in this way.
Li Dehong said that he was deeply in love with Yingying at that time, in order to let his ex-wife go home, he did not hesitate to agree to the other party's request, he hoped to impress Yingying through his goodwill, he hoped that his "redemption" could allow Yingying to stay away from right and wrong and live a normal life, but his idea in the eyes of his ex-wife, but bluntly said that Li Dehong was different from ordinary people, and there might be problems in his brain.
Fortunately, Li Dehong later figured this out, he knew that his concept of "redemption" was very naïve, there was no possibility of realistic operation, in order to recover his losses, Li Dehong went to other places, he hoped that his ex-wife could refund half of his dowry of 100,000 yuan, and forced his ex-wife to come forward by reporting to the police.
As a result, the ex-wife told Li Dehong that the 200,000 dowry had been spent, and that he could only return 30,000 yuan at most, and threatened that he had already had intimate contact with him, so he should pay the corresponding price, which was too far from Li Dehong's expectations, and he categorically rejected this solution.
Li Dehong said that because of the epidemic, he almost cut off his income, there are mortgages in life that need to be repaid, the old mother's pension also needs money, and now he has exhausted the mountains and waters, and urgently needs his ex-wife to return his 100,000 dowry, but now his ex-wife has blocked all his contact information, he can't contact his ex-wife at all, and the negotiation has fallen into a dead end.
Even in order to get back this life-saving money, Li Dehong wanted to force yingying's daughter to negotiate a solution by hurting her, and intentionally released a revenge video on the online platform for Yingying to see, but the ex-wife was indifferent and seemed to have no concern for the safety of her daughter's life, but the kind Li Dehong did not hurt Yingying's daughter after all.
And Li Dehong said that he was very good to Yingying's daughter, and he would send a large amount of red envelope blessings every New Year's Festival, but since the relationship between the two broke, Yingying's daughter had blacked him out, and also refused to disclose his mother's contact information, which made him feel very cold, feeling that Yingying's daughter was an unfamiliar white-eyed wolf.
For this money, Li Dehong said that his ex-wife's various actions have completely harmed his heart, he suffered from major depression, he had the idea of leaving this world at any time, and there were constantly scenes of "killing his wife" in the movie, and he felt that the whole person was about to collapse.
In order to help Li Dehong solve this problem, the reporter took him to consult a lawyer, and the lawyer also suggested that he had better sue his ex-wife through legal channels to return a part of the bride price, he tortured himself unable to solve the problem, only the law can protect his legitimate rights and interests, Li Dehong also decided to take up the weapon of law to protect himself after hearing about it.
Li Dehong's marriage is undoubtedly a tragedy, people are very sorry, as a husband, he has fulfilled the duty of a man, but also used his own strength to treat his wife, but helpless "flowers intentional, flowing water is merciless", his efforts have become a wishful joke, the other party is not the slightest touch, but Li Dehong himself moved himself.
Although Li Dehong makes people feel pity, but we are even more resentful of Yingying, this so-called marriage is actually doomed to be a big mistake at the beginning, the two from the beginning of the acquaintance, Li Dehong only knows Yingying's occupation and marriage history and other objective background information, but did not give a comprehensive and in-depth understanding of her personality and ideological character.
Obviously, Li Dehong is an idealist, he thinks of all realities too beautifully, quite like the idea of "sexual goodness" put forward by Mencius, he believes that all people have good intentions and love, if for some reason they are misguided or even degenerate, it is not the fault of this person, but the external factors.
Perhaps there is a certain truth to this, but he ignores that reality is reality after all, theory needs to serve reality, and constantly correct errors in reality, Yingying's special industry of massage has the factor of life, but from the plot of later development, it seems that her heart has gradually internalized and accepted this so-called profession, and does not care about Li Dehong's persuasion, and even resists.
It can be seen that Li Dehong's persuasion is futile, but also in response to a sentence: we can not wake up a person who pretends to sleep, since the other party insists on going against the mainstream values of society, then even if there is more kindness and love, it is difficult to make him turn back and wake up, even if he can, the price paid must be very huge, not a normal man can bear, give up this so-called feelings in order to get their own liberation.
At the same time, some mistakes are only zero times and countless times, Yingying returned to her old business shortly after marriage, and then begged Li Dehong for forgiveness, but we lamented that Li Dehong was really too kind, so kind that he did not realize that his kindness was used by the other party, and he did not know that his soft heart and kindness were actually a great cruelty to himself, if there was no original "redemption" thought, I believe there would be no subsequent series of bad things.
It is not difficult to love a person, the difficulty is how to control your emotions once you fall in love with a person, Li Dehong's sincere love for his ex-wife is beyond doubt, but when he is crazy in love with Yingying, he has lost himself, lost his rationality, and is even willing to agree to the crazy suggestions of his ex-wife's guests in order to save his ex-wife's heart, which really makes people lose their jaws.
Although love is precious, we must understand that the object of this precious love must be a person worthy of our efforts, if the other party is a person who makes people spurn, how much love, how much kindness is the use? It is nothing more than throwing one's kindness and love into a bottomless pit without any effect.
Therefore, perhaps the money for the bride price will be difficult to come back for a while and a half, but at least they must adjust their mentality, cure their own heart diseases, know how to let go in order to let themselves die, let go in order to let themselves have the possibility of rebirth, stay in the green mountains, do not worry about firewood, give up a woman who does not love themselves is not their own loss, life is so short, we have no obligation to redeem the public, nor do we have the ability to complete this great task, we must know how to be responsible for our own lives, and losing everything about ourselves is gone.
How do you view Li Dehong's "redeeming" view of love, and what do you think of what his ex-wife Yingying did? Welcome to leave a message to discuss, thank you!
Wen | Peida
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