A relationship must be maintained with money, even if it does not cost money at the beginning, but if you want a relationship to go all the way to the end, you need money as a material basis.
Therefore, money is the most important substance in a relationship.
However, many women do not understand why it is so important for men to spend money for themselves, but feel afraid of being labeled as material and gold worship by the other party, so they never dare to take the initiative to open their mouths.
In fact, only when a person pays the cost, he will carefully weigh it when running love because he is afraid of losing.
Instead of feeling that there is no difference in having a loss because there is no real effort, and not caring about the woman's feelings, if you want to give up, you will give up.
Therefore, if you want men to care about themselves, they must need men to invest in themselves and spend money for themselves, but how to spend money needs to take a reasonable and effective solution.
In a relationship between the sexes, how do you get a man to take the initiative to spend money for you? Psychology gives the method, which is very effective.
The affirmative tone is complemented by a praise-style ending
01), said the case: readers remember when they just fell in love with their boyfriends, they wanted to let the other party buy something for themselves, and they always asked in this way .
"I want to eat a cake, if it's inconvenient for you, forget it"; "I want you to pick me up from work, if you don't stop by."
Can be developed, every time the reader makes a request, he is always leaving room for the boyfriend, "not going along the way, not convenient" can be used as an excuse for men to refuse.
Every time, the reader feels that the boyfriend rejects him and is unhappy, but the boyfriend feels that his inconvenience is reasonable, and the reader is angry but unreasonable.
Later, readers learned that men's way of thinking is generally linear, and if they don't speak bluntly, men will not guess what the meaning behind the words they say is.
So, the reader began to change the strategy, changing the way he asked: "You buy me a cake, because what you buy has always had the taste of love"; "Pick me up after work, I want to see you as soon as I leave work".
Strangely enough, the requirements are the same, but after a different way of speaking, the boyfriend will meet his own needs every time and still enjoy it.
This is because the affirmative tone will let men know what they must do, there is no room for refusal, and the praise-style ending will make men feel that they will have a sense of accomplishment in doing this, and they will naturally be willing to pay when they pay.
In the relationship between the sexes, due to the difference in the way of thinking between men and women, the most feared thing is to guess, after all, we can't do 100% understanding of a person, so if you want to make the other party pay for yourself, you must pay attention to the way you speak, so that you can lay a good foundation for a man to pay for himself.
In emotional psychology, you need to use the "demolition effect"
Mr. Lu Xun wrote in the article "Silent China": "Chinese temperament always likes to reconcile and compromise, for example, you say, this room is too dark, saying that opening a skylight here, everyone must not allow it, but if you advocate demolishing the roof, they will come to reconcile and be willing to open the skylight."
This is the demolition effect in psychology, which refers to the fact that when we are faced with undesirable things, we tend to adjust between avoiding or accepting facts to achieve inner balance, at this time, if a new choice appears that is similar to the state of inner balance, then this new choice will be easily accepted.
Therefore, when we first put forward high requirements and then put forward lower requirements, it is often easier to be accepted by the other party.
Acting in the relationship between the sexes, want to let men take the initiative to spend money for themselves, after laying a good foundation for active payment after an affirmative tone and praise- end, then it is necessary to consciously guide men to increase their efforts on their own, and the demolition effect is a good measure.
We can first propose a good price item, and after being rejected, then propose a lower price item, so that our requirements will be met with a high probability, and in the long run, it will become a habit for men to spend money for themselves.
Guiding men to spend money for themselves is a gradual process
Although letting men spend money for themselves can increase the cost of men's efforts and increase the status of women in men's hearts, if they do not lay a good foundation at the beginning, then subsequent development will become difficult.
Therefore, we need to sink our hearts, not to be hasty, but to take it step by step.
At the same time, we should also note that paying this thing is not a one-sided thing, we should also pay attention to pay when we ask for it, for example, men buy gifts for themselves, they can also give back appropriately, so that men will feel that their efforts are worth it.
Happiness sometimes lies in how we manage love, and happiness sometimes lies in what we want.
Shakespeare said, "The power of love is peace, never regardless of reason, convention, and honor and disgrace, it can make all fear, shock, and pain sweet when suffered." ”
Only in this way can we get happiness and beauty in love.