Source: Educator Magazine, Issue 01, 2022
Family style is a kind of wordless education, and family training is a kind of silent instruction. Family style and family training is a family code of conduct and traditional fashion, which subtly affects the child's soul and shapes the child's personality. On the occasion of the implementation of the Law of the People's Republic of China on the Promotion of Family Education, the topic of family style construction is discussed. The importance of family building is self-evident. How do we view home style today? The reporter interviewed Professor Zhang Qicheng, member of the National Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference and founding dean of the National College of Chinese Medicine of Beijing University of Traditional Chinese Medicine.
Zhang Qicheng
Let the good family style nourish the children's hearts
Wen | reporter Jiang Naiqiang
What is home style?
General Secretary Xi Jinping pointed to the mountain: "The family is the basic cell of society and the first school of life." No matter how much the times have changed, no matter how much the pattern of life has changed, we must attach importance to family building, pay attention to the family, pay attention to tutoring, and pay attention to family style."
In Professor Zhang Qicheng's view, family rules are the agreement of the family to the child, which is a rigid requirement that the child needs to follow. The fashion formed by people following this hard rule will become a spiritual outlook or ethos. Although such a trend is soft, it really affects people and is closely related to the future development of children. A good family style will benefit the child for life and become a subconscious influence on the child's growth and development.
Family education is a kind of whole-process education from the beginning to the end, lifelong education, and the family education received in childhood will have a significant and far-reaching impact on people's entire life. The development of home education is often realized in daily life in a subtle, spring and rainy way, which is manifested as family style, family rules and family training. From ancient times to the present, all families that can inherit it have their own family education culture.
"Filial piety and faithfulness, courtesy, righteousness, honesty, self-improvement, and great virtue and neutralization." Talking about his family's family rules and family training, Professor Zhang Qicheng, as a descendant of the "Zhang Yi Ti" medical family, said that the sixteen-character family rules of the Zhang family have been passed down for generations. In the Zhang family, filial piety has become a common practice, and children must come to the elderly every New Year's Festival. Ten years of a big gathering, five years a small gathering, winter and summer vacation children have to come back to accompany the elderly, which has formed a routine in the Zhang family.
These sixteen-character family rules are the best summary and summary of the spiritual connotations of the "Zhang Yi Ti" medical family that has been passed down for hundreds of years. It depends on this kind of shaping personality, purifying people's hearts, and emphasizing moral family discipline. The descendants of the Zhang clan have many achievements. The "Zhang Yi Ti" medical family can be passed down for hundreds of years without fading, prosperous and developed, and the family style formed by the Zhang family under the family training and family rules education, family morality is inseparable.
How to cultivate a good family style?
November 2021. The 8th National Moral Model Award Ceremony was held in Beijing, and Zhang Shunhua, a famous doctor in Anhui, won the award. With more than half a century of sincere love and tenacity to the family, this old man has left a legend of "filial piety" for the world. Who is Zhang Shunhua? She is the mother of Professor Zhang Qicheng, a mother who has trained four doctoral supervisors. Wife of the late "Master of Traditional Chinese Medicine" Li Jiren, and a descendant of the national intangible cultural heritage "Zhang Yiti".
"Mothers often volunteer to see patients. This has a very big impact on us. Speaking of the well-nurtured family style, Professor Zhang Qicheng said that the influence of parents' words and deeds on children is very large, and the teaching of example is better than words, and the silent action guidance of parents will play an important role in the healthy growth of children, forming a subconscious thing in the child's young mind.
When Zhang Qicheng's mother, Zhang Shunhua, was young, the only brother in the family unfortunately died early, and his father Zhang Gengui was worried about the lack of family medical successors, coupled with busy medical services, and his health deteriorated. Zhang Shunhua, who was less than 10 years old at the time, became the pillar of the family. Cooked and washed, chopped firewood, and took care of parents and sisters. Because of his kindness and filial piety, Zhang Shunhua was praised by the local villagers as "filial piety".
In Zhang Qicheng's memory, the scene of his mother crawling on the rugged mountain road with them on her back to go to the clinic seemed to be just yesterday. At that time, despite the difficult conditions, the poor came to "Zhang Yiti" to see a doctor. Not only do parents not charge for the consultation, but they also send medicines for free. What impressed Zhang Qicheng was a large vat in front of his house. In the summer, parents will put some medicinal tea to relieve the heat for the villagers to drink. In winter, porridge is given to the neighbors. Send warmth to the villagers.
Today, his mother is 89 years old and still insists on free medical treatment for the masses. He also donated his personal savings to build the Xin'an Museum of Traditional Chinese Medicine. "While you can still move, do something for society." Zhang Qicheng told reporters that this is a sentence often said by his mother. It is Zhang Shunhua's words and deeds that have played a subtle role in influencing education in the growth of his children.
Home style is more important than score
Hoping for a child to become a dragon, hoping for a woman to become a wind, and hoping that the child will get ahead, which is the expectation of many parents for their children today. In the face of this phenomenon of heavy growth and light adulthood in family education, Zhang Qicheng believes that the correct family education should enter the child's soul and let the child grow up in happiness, "Good family style is a memory is a brand, which can affect the child's future, and the family style is more meaningful than the pursuit of achievements." “
Mencius said, "One family is benevolent, one country is prosperous; One family lets, one country prospers", indicating that family building is closely related to the future of the whole country. The family has family rules, the family has family morality, the family has the family style, with the home as the carrier, in the family education to inherit the traditional Chinese culture, in today's society has become very important. Zhang Qicheng believes that family education should pay attention to guiding children to form correct values and outlook on life in their minds, and life should not only be for money and fame, but also for faith and ideals.
Zhang Qicheng took Confucius as an example and said that the loss of his mother at an early age, the widow in middle age, and the loss of his son in old age are the three major misfortunes of life, Confucius almost collided with the unbearable pain in these three lives, but Confucius was able to live happily, the important reason is that he found his own life goals, and can work hard to achieve his goals. At the age of 30, Confucius had his own views on some important things in the world, actively engaged in political activities, and traveled around the world at the age of 55 to be praised as a beautiful talk.
Nowadays, people pay too much attention to their children's grades. Excessive pursuit of children's high scores and excessive development of children's intelligence are not advisable. Many parents demand of their children that they study well and go to a good university. Get a good job, but when the kids actually have it, life may not be happy. For modern society, it is very important to cultivate children not to be impatient and anxious, and to have a correct outlook on life and values. Zhang Qicheng thinks. Success is not about having much money. Instead, they have found a purpose in life and can strive to pursue it. As a parent, we must understand and respect our children, guide our children to establish a correct outlook on life and values, respect their children's choices, and teach according to their aptitudes. For example, for children, the college entrance examination is not good, can not be admitted to a good university, can also make a great achievement. Respect and motivate children's choices to grow, and find a suitable development path for them.
Home style is the starting line for children
Many parents have the idea that their children cannot lose at the starting line. To this end, they scramble for high-quality educational resources for their children, school district houses, good schools, good teachers, cram schools, etc., becoming the weight for them to let their children win at the starting line, resulting in children being overwhelmed. "Once the starting line is limited to knowledge, life will be burdened by it." In Zhang Qicheng's view, the pattern of family style and parents is the starting line of children, because parents' words and deeds are particularly important for children's growth. In the face of parents' anxiety that "don't let their children lose at the starting line". Zhang Qicheng believes that "a person's life is more like a relay race", and parents are the starting line of children and the most important junction point in the race of children's lives. Therefore, in order for children to run happier, easier and longer, parents need to think carefully for their children and plan ahead. The starting line for a child should not be just fame and fortune. It is the cultivation and pattern of parents. The parent's mind highly determines the child's future path.
Zhang Qicheng thinks. For Chinese, there is a home style. From the literal family training and genealogy of the family to the words and deeds of the parents and elders of ordinary people, the family rules and tutoring forms are different, and the moral code and value orientation of a family or family are transmitted. It has an important impact on the future success of children and the construction of family living environment.
Family style is essentially the inner spiritual driving force of a family, and it is also the code of conduct for every family member living in it. Good home style. It will have a positive impact on the world view, outlook on life, moral literacy, life behavior, and the cultivation of living habits of the family, especially the child. A good home style is a priceless treasure of the family. If a family can produce talents, it is not unrelated to the good family style inheritance of the family.
Zhang Qicheng said that family style is the most direct education without words. Now many parents complain that they do not educate their children well, always blindly looking for problems in their children, but ignoring their own reflection. Some parents always think that their children can read a lot of books, but they have been playing with their mobile phones; I always want my children to work hard, but they have to work hard but they are good and bad. "Parents are the originals, children are copies", the pattern of parents is the starting line of children's lives.
Zhang Qicheng believes that for a family, family style is the foundation of foothold. Because family style and family morality are the roots of the family. It is the epitome of Chinese culture and the continuation of civilization. It is the most expensive wealth of a home. The influence of tutoring and door style on children is immeasurable.
Let the good family style accompany the children to grow up happily
Zhang Qicheng believes that in family education, it is not only necessary to guide children to honor their parents, but also to guide them to love the motherland. Guide them to repay the motherland and society with what they have learned, so that children can grow up happily. In such a process, it is very important to educate children in Traditional Chinese Studies. Based on this understanding, in recent years, Professor Zhang Qicheng has founded the Sinology Fund named after him to disseminate Sinology, promote the essence of the country, and hold the Analects summer camp and free offline online lectures for students and parents, which are widely praised by all parties in society.
Professor Zhang Qicheng has personally advocated on many occasions that "sinology education should accompany children's life", because the study of sinology and traditional Chinese culture are soul-casting and can play a role in cultivating the mind. He believes that chinese culture education is not only an education of knowledge, but also an education of values, an education of outlook on life, an education of daily behavior, and an education of morality and ethics, which is of great significance for the healthy and happy growth of children.
Sinology education focuses on cultivating children's image thinking and innovative thinking, and learning Sinology cannot be done for the sake of exams. Of course, if the child learns Chinese well, his Chinese language performance will definitely improve. However, if chinese culture education is knowledge-oriented and for the purpose of examinations, this kind of learning will become a painful thing. At the national cppcc meeting in recent years, Professor Zhang Qicheng has repeatedly submitted proposals on carrying out Sinology education among students.
"The purpose of Sinology education is to cultivate a sound personality. A person with a sound personality is confident, happy, and humanistic. If a small child can't laugh, it's scary. Why don't you laugh? It's because there's no warmth in the heart. Why is there no warmth? It's because there's no sunshine in the heart. Why is there no sunshine in the heart? It is because there is no love in the heart, neither getting love nor sharing love with others, so he is unhappy. Zhang Qicheng said.
Man can be without knowledge, but he cannot be without happiness. Therefore, in a sense, studying Sinology is to construct spiritual beliefs, in order to cultivate the mind, and if the mind is repaired and the personality is sound, it will be happy. To this end, Professor Zhang Qicheng suggested that in family education, attention should be paid to the dissemination of knowledge of Sinology education, so that children can find faith in China's excellent traditional culture and feel happy and grow up happily in edutainment.