1． There is a couple newly married soon. The husband was sent by the company to a foreign country to reside permanently. A year later, the husband returned home on leave. After a cloud and rain that night, the couple snored and fell asleep. Suddenly in the middle of the night, it sounded

1． There is a couple newly married soon. The husband was sent by the company to a foreign country to reside permanently. A year later, the husband returned home on leave. After a cloud and rain that night, the couple snored and fell asleep. There was a sudden knock at the door in the middle of the night. The husband jumped up from his sleep and exclaimed, "Not good! Your husband is back! The wife muttered, "No way, he's abroad." ＂

2． Once upon a time, there was a stupid son, married a good daughter-in-law, and entered the cave house after visiting the church. Dumb Er felt strange, so he asked his daughter-in-law, "Hey hey, what name did I call you?" The daughter-in-law was angry and funny, so she replied to him: "Shout to Prince Yan." On the wedding night, the husband and wife slept one head each, and the wife used her feet to hook her husband, and after the idiot was woken up, she didn't know what to do, so she called out to his father: "Father, you see, Yama Wang ye is hooking me." When his father heard this, he was shocked, and he loudly told Yama Wangye: "Yama Wangye, Yama Wangye, my son is still young, I am already old, if you want to hook me, you can hook me." ”

3. I made an appointment with the girl I chatted with today, and she happily agreed. Asked my mother for 500 yuan, I said dating, and my mother gave it directly. As soon as I left the house, my father said, "500 yuan to give me 250, I haven't smoked for a month." I said unhappily, "This is my dating money with my girlfriend, and I can't give it to you." Dad said, "What will you meet, you are going to see me, I have been talking to you for half a month to smoke!" ”

4. I am very disgusted that neighbors often come to borrow things, but I am embarrassed not to borrow them. The wife said, "You can make an excuse!" "I think my wife is right, and the neighbor came to borrow something again at 6 o'clock this morning. The neighbor said: "Very sorry to bother you so early, please use pruning scissors?" Me: "I'm sorry, I'm going to prune the fruit trees all day today." The neighbor said happily, "Then you must not have time to fish, can you lend me your fishing rod?" ”

5. On weekends off, early in the morning I take my son to the epidemic prevention station for vaccinations. When he saw the nurse, he cried and struggled desperately, and had no choice but to say: "Baby is good, it is the father who wants the injection, not the baby who gives the injection." So it was quiet, and the nurse took the opportunity to quickly wipe the alcohol, inject, push the medicine, pull the needle, and in one go, the little baby was actually very quiet. After that, he looked at the nurse blankly and said, "Auntie, you seem to have made a mistake, right?" ”

6. The college entrance examination did not do well, and you can only go to the college! One night I was talking to my results roommate about my childhood dreams! A younger roommate said: "Once I wanted to be a pianist, but there was no piano. The second roommate said: I once wanted to be a singer, but unfortunately I didn't have a good voice! I said calmly: I used to want to be a scientist, but I didn't have a brain.

7. I bought a new house in the city, and my father and I renovated it ourselves. At eight o'clock in the morning we arrived at the new house, smashed a wall in the morning, and went out for lunch at noon. As a result, after lunch, the door could not be opened! How to open the call, and finally contact the property to ask the unlock master or can not open! I was busy until more than six o'clock in the afternoon, and the master said: I really can't do it, you change people! I was even more stunned when I walked downstairs in despair! It's not that the door won't open, it's that I went to the wrong building with my father!

8. Worked as a courier in Jingdong, and after a year of working, he bought a house on the edge of the Huangpu River. After eating in the evening, I went for a walk by the river, only to find a foreigner swimming in the water. That guy is particularly unhygienic, and has been drinking the river water, how dirty the river water is! But he drank very happily, danced and shouted, and asked others: "Drink or not?" Drink or not? "Later, maybe he found that I didn't look at him friendly, so he sank into the water and drank it, and didn't come up for half a day." Later I realized that it was help!

9. Last week I went to Sanya on a business trip, and my wife, who had just got my driver's license, actually drove my Maiten back to her mother's house. I told my wife to pay attention to safety when driving. As a result, the next day I was still dreaming, and I was woken up by my wife's urgent telephone ringing. Half dreaming and half awake, I heard her whisper: I just want to ask you, how to put away the airbag, and what is the insurance company phone number you bought? I'm no big deal compared to the car!

10. My husband has been working overtime regularly recently, and in order to treat my husband, I decided to make braised pork for my husband at night. After the ingredients were prepared, I was ready to start cutting the meat, only to accidentally cut my fingers. At this time, the daughter who was watching TV came to the kitchen, looked at the blood stuck on the meat and the board, and the daughter said solemnly: Are you coloring the braised meat, or are you dripping blood to recognize your relatives?

#Funny# #年度搞笑名场面 #