Hi, here is Mou Yi, I am Xiao Yi, good evening!
When people reach middle age, life begins to slowly move closer to the plain, losing the passion of the past. But when the contradictions increase and the chickens and dogs are more and more fragmented, how will you choose to face marriage?
Is it perfunctory, or indifferent, is it to seek new life with each other, or is it to find temporary stimulation outside?
Before answering this complex question, let's first understand who is more desolate in the second half of life if a middle-aged couple divorces.
No.1
Mou Yi
The party without the ability to be financially independent is more difficult
Before the hit American drama "The Great Mrs. Maisel", the exquisite heroine Mickey in it is a housewife who lives on the husband of the second generation of the rich.
She never let her husband see her plain face, and every night after his husband was asleep, she got up to remove her makeup and apply a mask. In the morning, before he got up, he put on his makeup and lay down next to him. Insecure, she is bent on convincing her husband with exquisite charm.
Eventually her husband cheated.
In "The First Half of My Life", Luo Zijun, who is attached to her husband, Chen Junsheng said "I raise you", letting her fall into the nest of love.
After marriage, she gave up her job as her husband wished, and she became a "pampered" Mrs. Chen with peace of mind, enjoying the protection of marriage to the fullest. However, eight years later, Chen Junsheng's sentence "Let's divorce" completely shattered her dream of happiness and made her fall from the paradise of marriage to mortal dust.
There is a saying in "Queen Joanna": "Insecurity is the most common gynecological disease in the world." ”
Women's lack of security in marriage is because they are afraid of being unable to bear and face the world after being abandoned, and this insecurity boils down to the loss of their independent economic ability in marriage.
Regardless of men and women, maintaining financial independence in marriage is the greatest confidence, in order to support you, without fear of anyone's departure, without fear of any wind and rain in life.
No.2
The party at fault in the marriage is more tormented
Qian Zhongshu once wrote in "The Siege of the City": "Marriage is a city, people who are surrounded by the city want to escape, people standing outside the city want to rush in, marriage, career, and the desire of life are mostly like this." ”
Can't withstand the temptation of the outside world, eager to get rid of the shackles of the family, to seek new stimuli, for the so-called extramarital affairs, disregard, abandon the family, proud of the moment.
Time has passed, and as they grow older, men and women who have cheated on them, without squandered capital, will begin to miss their own children and warm families.
But the ex and the children have long since lost any feelings for them, and in the hearts of the children, they are selfish and selfish, and they have destroyed the happy family with their own hands, and they only have resentment and no love for them.
Seeing other people's families happy, but their own alone. All this is self-inflicted, karmic.
Regardless of the derailment, wake up and can only bear it slowly, and the party who has a fault in the marriage will spend the second half of his life in regret and self-blame.
No.3
Love is fresh and exciting, marriage is a plain life, into middle age, no one's marriage is still beautiful and unreal, but don't want to escape because of this.
Because if you change someone, you will still experience all this, or you will experience the regrets of the old people again.
Truly intelligent men, no matter who they marry, will live happily; truly intelligent women, no matter who they marry, will live well.