Because of their young age and poor oral expression skills, children will use actions instead of language when getting along with other children, and this action will inadvertently produce "fighting" conflicts.
In fact, most of the fights between children are not aggressive, which is just a way of expression of their interaction. But often, as soon as parents see a fight between their children, they either rush to pull a fight, or accuse the child of not understanding things and being in a hurry.
Don't impose the values of the adult world
In the face of conflict between children, parents first need to fully understand the reasons for the matter, and tell the child: conflict is very normal, no matter who is right and who is wrong, the important thing is how to get along next.
In the simple world of children, many ideas and problems are actually imposed on them by adults, especially in the face of conflict, which will be considered "bullying and being bullied". Some parents will even tell their children directly: don't take the initiative to hit others, but if others hit you, you will directly fight back.
Children are growing up in the occurrence and resolution of contradictions, so parents do not want to mix anything into it, so it is easy for children to feel that there is a problem, find adults to solve, or only adults can solve problems, resulting in children's independence and problem-solving ability can not be cultivated.
Help your child improve their interpersonal skills
In fact, when a child has a "fight" behavior, it is an opportunity for parents to help children improve their interpersonal skills. After all, children's experience in interacting with children is still insufficient, coupled with cognitive ability and self-control ability are also relatively weak. For children, ensuring their current interests is the overriding goal.
At this time, parents need to take it seriously, and parents should patiently explain to their children what they should do if they want to make friends with other children, which practices are wrong, and what kind of harm will be caused to others.
If it is caused by other children, if it is unintentional, parents should tell the child that the other party is not intentional, and there will definitely be friction between friends, just like you may sometimes accidentally hurt others, and everyone should be considerate of each other. And if the other party is deliberate, teach the child to learn to protect himself. Be brave and discern the right and wrong with the other person, through reasoning, not with your fists. Under the guidance and encouragement of parents, slowly cultivate children's courage to argue according to reason, and also let children understand that the interaction between friends needs to be humble to each other, and to develop a good quality of politeness.
Accept and listen to their inner thoughts
In fact, whether it is an adult or a child, everyone will face some conflicts in the process of communication, and as a parent, they hope that they can help their children solve them. But know that everyone has their own limitations, and it is inevitable that they will be affected by their own emotions and will be biased in dealing with problems.
When faced with the "fight" of children, we must not only accept our own limitations, but also accept the limitations and reactions of our children. Parents need to listen to and accept the true thoughts of their children and understand their emotions.
If you can ask your child:
"How did this happen?"
"How did you feel at the time?"
"What's your opinion on this now?"
"What do you want Mom/Dad to help you with?"
……
In the process of listening to the child, parents should give a serious attitude of attention, you can also find the other parents to communicate rationally after you calm down, and tell the child that he has made an effort, so that the child knows that you have been with him/her, no matter what the child thinks, you are understanding and supporting him/her.
Through in-depth and benign communication with children, we can deeply understand the children's feelings and needs, and let the children feel the love from their parents.
Through the love of parents, to give children the confidence to face conflicts, let children explore and experience the experience and freedom of life path on their own, and slowly learn how to regulate emotions and face conflicts!