Backstage will often receive messages from parents and friends, saying that children are particularly angry, what books should they read? Or ask, there are many books for children's emotional management, but they are useless, very confused, do not know what is wrong, what to do?
The editor, who has also experienced N being childish and thunderous many times, has also been troubled by this problem for a long time.
Recently, I carefully watched Mr. LaiMa's "The Angry Prince", which was very fruitful on this issue, and discussed and discussed with everyone.
Obviously, the angry prince is the epitome of many angry children -
Got angry early in the morning because of the problem of getting up:
What kind of food to eat,
What clothes to wear,
What means of transport,
You can get into trouble with your parents!
parents
Go to bed early and get up early;
Eat healthy foods of course;
Dressing against the wind and keeping warm is of course the key;
Of course you have to drive a car, what kind of bicycle to ride?!
These are many righteous things,
How many times have I said it,
You're still making a fuss,
When will it be time to understand things?
Angry!
Honey, wouldn't you do the same often?
Can't understand, very simple thing, why the little guy is so noisy? So angry?!
There's an answer in The Angry Prince.
child
I wanted to sleep a little more on Saturday
I love to eat sweet marshmallow chocolate cake, so I don't like to eat any carrot muffins and vegetable salads!
I like cool Spider-Man clothes the most, and children will definitely think I am so handsome! You choose that dress is so ordinary!
You can drive, I can ride a bike! Why do you have to drive?!
One thing, the reason why the two sides are angry and quarrel, is often because you have your reason, I have my feelings.
The same thing,
Adults think of the truth, children think of feelings;
Be a parent,
I just want to convince, I don't want to understand,
How can a child not be angry?!
When everything is figured out, things are easier.
Learn to "communicate" instead of "how to make children obedient."
Many times, parents will confuse "communicating with their children" with "making children listen to themselves", or the former is completely at the service of the latter.
In fact, communication is to get communication, to reach a consensus, "how to make children obedient", is to persuade the other party, control the other party, let the other party completely obey themselves, completely two different things.
Who likes to be persuaded? And it is under the premise that the other party does not care about what we feel and how to understand?
Learn to "communicate with your child, not how to make your child obedient."
True love, not "I love you, so I have a right to you",
It's "I love you, so I value your rights, value."
Your feelings, thoughts and needs".
If you want to sleep more, go to bed early and listen to the story:
Love cake?
OK. Eat first, then dessert.
Love cool clothes?
No problem. Bring them all.
Want to cycle to an amusement park somewhere?
Well, bring your bike. Go by car first, far away, to the place and maybe you can go by bike.
To do the right thing, but also to respect the feelings of children.
Most of the time it is not difficult, depending on whether the parents want to or not.
Accept the status quo, actively learn, and take your time.
At this time, the practical experience of Mr. Laima, who is the father of three children, is too practical.
In the corners and corners of this book, Mr. Lai Ma secretly stuffed a lot of parenting tips for parents, so that they could study well.
Finally, remember to remind yourself often —
The so-called parent-child education, the important thing is not what parents have read, what kind of concepts they often express, nor what they especially want to "teach" their children, but what kind of people the parents are, or what state they are in, which is the key to the problem.
It is simply unrealistic to lose your temper at every turn, but expect emotional children to be able to do things rationally, and of course the angry king and the angry queen can only harvest angry prince or angry princess!
Angry king
Angry Queen
Leading by example is never the best "teaching", but the only "teaching"!