On December 12, 2021, Xiao Lei, a 16-year-old junior high school girl in Lu'an, Anhui Province, ran away from home and never returned.
It wasn't until January 12, 2022, after a month of searching, that her body was found in a river channel near the girl's home. The police reported that he had drowned and preliminarily ruled out criminal cases.
On the day that Xiao Lei disappeared, her mother, Ms. Cao, asked the teacher, and the teacher said that she had not seen Xiao Lei, and then Ms. Cao called the police, and the whole family went out to look for her daughter, and many enthusiastic people were also helping to find it. After retrieving the surveillance, it was found that Xiao Lei did not take the usual road to and from school that day, but went to a nearby park.
Four days after Ray disappeared, her grandmother found Ray's clothes hanging from a tree on a park path, and her glasses were still in her pocket. The police took the clothes away for inspection and found no abnormalities. Subsequently, the rescue team searched the upper and lower reaches of the river and found no trace of Xiao Lei.
Why did Ray run away from home?
Ms. Cao said that some time ago, the teacher had talked to Xiao Lei, saying that her grades had a downward trend and that she was still playing with her mobile phone. Ms. Cao confiscated her daughter's mobile phone. Xiao Lei said to his classmates at school, "My mother can talk heavily and will not let me play with my mobile phone."
"Before I disappeared, I was fine at home, and I didn't have any emotional problems," Ms. Cao said. Xiao Lei once wrote in her diary that there was a lot of pressure to study, and when she learned that Xiao Lei went to the park, her family thought she was just going to relax, but she did not expect that people were missing.
After Xiao Lei disappeared, the mother updated the video every day, hoping that her daughter would go home after seeing the video, but in the end, what awaited was the bad news of her daughter's death.
Judging from Xiao Lei's various performances before his death, it is very likely that because of learning pressure, family environment and other reasons, psychological problems have occurred, so he runs away from home.
Most adolescent children have a rebellious psychology, when he appears depressed, taciturn a series of abnormal behavior, may not be a bad mood, but into the suppression of some negative emotions, if the parents do not find and guide in time, will affect the child's learning, or accidents.
Xiao Lei's parents criticized the child, ignoring the child's emotional problems, if found in time, do not blindly criticize, but patient communication, there will be no such tragedy.
Children who suppress their emotions for a long time may suffer from depression. The depression that plagues adults is also an "invisible killer" that affects the physical and mental health of adolescents.
Parents generally believe that their children's school days are "cool under the tree", carefree, clothes to reach out and open their mouths, no need to worry about life. Parents are busy earning money to support the family, very hard, if the child has some negative emotions, disobedience, adults feel that the child can not understand themselves, the communication between the two sides is not smooth.
Sometimes children confide in their hearts, and parents often respond with "little age, there is nothing to worry about", or "temperament". But such a response will make the child more depressed, feel that no one understands him, and may cause the child to become depressed.
Zhong Hua, who is in the third year of high school this year, because of the pressure of study, the family atmosphere is tense, the mind is confused during class, and he often turns over and over at home and cannot sleep, lying down is a night, after getting up and simply cleaning up, he still has insomnia at night.
Zhong Hua felt that he was sick, and with the mentality of trying, he poured out the bitterness and anxiety in his heart to his father, and intermittently said that he did not want to live.
The father was shocked, and without saying a word, he took his daughter to the hospital, and after the examination, he found that her daughter was suffering from depression. When the mother heard that her daughter was sick, her heart was also pounding, and the mother thought about it repeatedly and said to her daughter, "Then take a break from school."
Zhong Hua later recalled that her mother's words saved her, and if her mother did not understand her and said that she was pretentious, she might have jumped out of the window at that time.
Zhong Hua was strictly required by her parents since she was a child, asking her to be a top-notch person, admitted to Harvard, she gradually lost herself, feeling like someone with a stick behind her, she tried hard, but her parents always said, "You can do better."
It was not until Zhong Hua was diagnosed with depression that her parents realized the seriousness of the problem, and in order to cure her, her parents built the home into a "nursing home" to let their daughter relax and feel the warmth of the family as much as possible. This helped her recover a lot.
According to the statistics of world mental health day last year, the detection rate of psychological depression in adolescents in China is as high as 24.6%, that is, 1 in every 4 children has depression tendencies, and the Ministry of Education is gradually integrating depression screening into student health examinations. It can be seen that children and young people are not as carefree as parents think.
For children who are in middle and high school, high-intensity learning and fierce competition make them feel difficult, and children who are not strong enough will inevitably have negative emotions, and once they are transformed into depression, it will destroy their children's mental health.
If you suspect that your child has a tendency to depression, you should immediately send it to the doctor for examination, even if you are not sick, do not take it lightly, and do not put too much pressure on your child.
When parents and children communicate, they should respect and listen, communication is not preaching, talk like friends. Only when children feel respect and equality will they slowly let down their guard and regain their sunshine mentality.