How to educate children is a problem that every family will face. However, families who really educate their children well, if not rarely, at least the proportion will not be too high.
In fact, the vast majority of families use very similar ways of education, that is, to require children to obey, especially to listen to parents, whether it is rewards or punishments are around this purpose.
Recently, such an incident occurred on line 7 of the Beijing subway. At less than 8 a.m., a 7-8-year-old boy with a mobile phone sat in a subway seat and was beaten and scolded by a woman.
The woman first pinched the boy's face fiercely, and the movement was very large, causing the mask worn by the child to be pulled off. When the child silently put on the mask, the woman slapped the child's hat off.
The boy did not dare to wear a hat this time, but the woman still did not understand the hatred, and then snatched the mobile phone from the child's hand, raised his hand to continue to hit the child, and the boy subconsciously stopped it.
This action infuriated the woman even more, and the woman made the boy stand up, threw his school bag on the ground, and made the child kneel in public. The child looked at the woman and slowly knelt down.
When someone in the car dissuaded the woman, the woman did not buy it, and directly told others, my own child, I want him to do what he has to do.
The boy knelt from Wanzi Station to Beijing West Railway Station, and when she arrived at the station, the woman left alone with her hands in her pockets. The boy hurriedly picked up his bag and ran after the woman.
Obviously, this is a mother educating her children, but whether it is the way of education or the concept of education, it is very simple and rude, it seems to be educating children, but the effect is difficult to compliment.
Children are not private property
Many parents will say the same thing when educating their children, my own children, how can I think? Even if this sentence is not spoken, a considerable number of parents still have this thought in their hearts.
This view has a long history in fact, from ancient times to the present, many parents believe that their children are their own private property, and even the lives of children belong to the parents, and they have absolute right to dispose of them.
This idea is not only wrong but also illegal. Children are independent individuals, and before they become minors, parents are only their guardians, protecting the wards, that is, the children's physical health, and preventing them from being wrongly violated.
As guardians, parents do have the duty and obligation to educate their children, but this does not mean that parents can arbitrarily scold their children and harm their children's dignity, which also violates relevant laws.
Education is not about venting parents' emotions
Many times, the child makes a mistake, the parents are angry and aggressive, and the behavior of scolding the child is not correcting the child's mistake, but more is venting the parents' anger.
In this process, the parents' emotions are indeed released by beating and cursing the child, but for the child, this kind of scolding punishment is not educational.
At least a lot of times, the child doesn't understand what's wrong with him. Even sometimes, parents do not fully understand the specific situation, and it happens repeatedly that they have wronged their children and let their children be beaten in vain.
Such a scolding education is impossible for children to be convinced and realize their mistakes, and it is more likely that children will have resentment, affecting family harmony and even parent-child relationship.
Care must be taken to maintain the dignity of the child
Everyone has their own dignity, and children are no exception. Unfortunately, many times, the dignity of children is not valued by parents, and even a considerable number of parents have no awareness of this at all.
In all behaviors, parents humiliate and scold their children in public, especially in front of their children's classmates or friends, which hurt their children's self-esteem the most.
Last year, after being invited by a teacher to parents, a mother angrily slapped her son twice in front of her classmates in school, resulting in the tragedy of her son who was already a sophomore jumping directly from the 5th floor of the school, which was a serious consequence of hurting children's self-esteem.
In any case, the educational methods that hurt children's self-esteem are unlikely to really play an educational role, and are more likely to make things worse or even lead to irreparable consequences.
Write at the end:
The way the mother punishes her child is quite extreme. The boy didn't make any big mistakes, most likely small mistakes like morning grinding that led to tardiness.
Child psychologist Liu Yonghe said that the educational behavior of having children kneel in public has violated the law. According to article 5 of the Law on the Promotion of Family Education, which came into effect this year, family education should respect the personal dignity of minors and protect the lawful rights and interests of minors.
Obviously, this woman's approach has violated this law, and the rough education method is also very easy to cause psychological trauma to the child, which is an extremely irresponsible performance.
It is completely understandable that parents are in a bad mood, but this kind of humiliation and scolding education not only does not play a role in education, but also makes children very embarrassed in front of everyone, and even brings a lifelong shadow.
The purpose of family education is to make children realize their mistakes and correct them, whether it is punishment or preaching, it should be carried out around this point.
Regardless of the child's dignity, public humiliation and scolding obviously cannot play this role, more is the parents showing their authority, venting their emotions, in a sense, this is hurt rather than education.