The best state of the perfect partner (emotion)

Recently, several new dramas have begun to air. One of them is The Perfect Companion. The starring role this time is Gao Yuanyuan and Zhang Luyi, and the combination of the two people is still looking forward to many viewers. The ratings of this premiere are also very impressive. It can be said that the ranking in the same period is also very high. It is also a very good start to the new drama.

This drama is about the workplace, Gao Yuanyuan, Hu Ge, Wang Yaoqing, Zhang Luyi and other powerful actors starred, this drama well reflects some of the problems of women in the workplace. The broadcast of this drama made me think about the perfect partner, not to mention the content of the show, let's talk about the standard of the perfect partner:

The best state of a perfect partner is not perfection, but completeness.

The perfect other person is your mirror, he or she can see your appearance, can let you see your own problems, and then bring them up and change, constantly grinding into the way the other party wants, but also their best state.

To be at their best, the perfect partner should have five principles:

(1) Instead of seeking from the outside, it is asking from the inside

The biggest problem in life is that you can't see yourself. Although this blindness is easy to understand – precisely because we can't see it, the problem is the problem. However, the problem is also here, when the problem occurs, we always have the habit of pointing our hands at others, but we forget to look at ourselves.

Why he speaks to you like this, that's his problem, why he uses that attitude, that's his business, who knows what he's thinking. But why do you care so much? Why do you feel hurt? Why are you so angry? The problem is you, and that's what you have to care about.

Close your eyes and look inside yourself. Forget the person who accused you, don't think about it, forget whatever others do, just go deep into yourself and you will find wounds within you.

You suffer, not because of someone else's mistake, they may have done something, but that is their business, and unless you have a wound on your body, you will not be affected by any kind of salt, water, or even casual touch.

The management relationship should always focus on yourself, and asking others to be responsible for you is equivalent to "asking for someone", you have become a slave, so sooner or later you will be led by the nose.

To be a master, one must understand: "Whatever happens to me, I must be unconditionally and fully responsible." "In the beginning you will feel frustrated because you can no longer find answers in others, but if you can persevere, continue to "ask inwardly", turn the hand pointing to others to yourself, turn the demands on others into requirements for yourself, and soon you will be able to live yourself.

(2) Not to change, but to accept

The purpose of love is to make each other learn to be "more ideal" and "more complete" people. However, the problem is also here, when people enter love, they are often confused, they are not to make themselves the ideal person, but to try to make the other party fit their ideals; not to make themselves a more complete person, but to expect the other party to fill their own shortcomings.

If you look at people's feelings, are they all picking each other's faults, trying to change each other? When you love a woman, you immediately start to improve her, and you think about how she should be. So, the quarrels between partners are for the same thing, the same problem, the same conflict. The wife has a concept that the husband should be like this, and the husband thinks that the wife should not be like that, and both sides are trying to change each other to make the other fit their "ideal version", and the result is that the original good relationship is very bad.

In the end, they don't even talk anymore, so what to say? Because as soon as the conversation began, the dispute began again, and the argument was an old problem, there was no room for change, anyway, it had been argued countless times, and the end was the same every time, and they had disappointed each other.

Why did you once fall in love with this person and then keep trying to change him? If he has to get better for you to be able to love; or if he doesn't change, you don't love, that's not love, it's the condition you prescribe for love. If you try to change the other person, it means that you don't really love him, you love yourself.

If you really know how to love, you will allow yourself to be that ideal person, rather than changing others to conform to your ideals.

Ask others to change, change yourself first; to make things better, to make yourself better first. Finally giving up on changing others is called "maturity"; knowing how to change oneself is called "growing".

(3) Not to become perfect, but to become complete

There are very rational men with a very emotional woman. For the man, this can develop his emotional side and become more complete; for the woman, cultivate a detached rational attitude and make her more balanced.

If these two people do not integrate their opposing energies, but try to change each other, they will be out of balance and divided. The man will become more rational and like to be reasonable; the woman will become more emotional and more "emotional". In this case, they will hate each other more and more.

To love someone, you can't just love his (her) good part or the part you appreciate, if you want to love, love him (her) whole.

The part that loves him or her beauty also loves his ugly part, loves the present and loves the past, loves the advantages and loves the shortcomings, because the shortcomings are also part of him or her. You love an object, not an idol.

You're looking for the other half for the chance to make your mind (cultivated in love) more complete, not to find someone perfect.

(4) Not to pray for love, but to love others

Everyone has needs, you need this, I need that. Often, we see an opportunity in each other that needs to be met. So the two of them started trading, and if you give me what you have, I'll give you what I have. People call this kind of transaction "love", and when the other party can't give you something of equal value, it is difficult for you to trade again, and you are "not loving".

If you look deeply into people's relationships, they're like business relationships. Many resentful couples often feel unwilling and feel that they have sacrificed too much; many people who have lost love or lost their marriage will be bitterly entangled and unwilling. Because I have repeatedly paid for you, you just should not fail me, you should give me back, this kind of love, and "business" What is the difference?

Because both people are pursuing their own desires, both demanding others in order to satisfy themselves, how can there be love in this relationship?

As long as you need others to love you, you are a person who lacks love, and if you lack love in your heart, how can you give love to people? It was as if two beggars were begging each other for something they didn't have.

Love is not a noun, but a verb. The feeling of love is the result of action.

Treat others the way you want others to treat you, and do what you want them to do for you.

(5) Don't be provoked, but be grateful

Through others you can know yourself. Yes, if no one else strikes you, you can't know your vulnerability; if no one else makes you resentful, you can't know your tolerance; if no one makes you angry, you can't know your own temperament.

Unfortunately, few people make good use of the mirror of relationships. When people find themselves in the mirror from others, they either turn around and turn a blind eye, or deny or destroy it.

The reason is simple: because this mirror makes me ugly, I destroy the mirror so that I am not ugly; because this person makes me ugly, so I ugly him... But is it useful to do so? Of course it doesn't work, no matter how many mirrors you break, you can't change your appearance.

If we had never met anyone in our life who hurt you, criticized you, or accused you, you would never grow up, wouldn't you?

Would you be angry at the doctor who helped you treat your illness? Even if the doctor "hurts" you, when you get treatment, shouldn't you be grateful to him or her? When someone else uses his or her "evil" to accomplish your "good," don't you feel that you should thank the other person?

All in all, for the perfect partner to be at his best, you must learn to accept your partner's imperfections and change from yourself, grateful for everything your partner has given you, including sharp accusations, you know, it must be because you have done something bad! That is, love your partner with your heart instead of asking for their love. In this world, the only thing you can grasp is yourself. As long as you have an epiphany from the present moment, and in time, I believe that you will have a happy and sweet intimate relationship.