Stanford University Professor Julie: Before the age of 18, parents are best to cultivate these 8 abilities
An excellent child is bound to be inseparable from the cultivation and guidance of his parents
In general, the sooner parents cultivate, the better the child's abilities
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Not long ago, I took my son to eat at a restaurant near the neighborhood
As a result, we saw such a scene
A boy in his mid-10s is writing his homework at the dinner table
Her mother took the bowl and sat aside, blowing it and feeding the child a mouthful
At this time, my son said
"Mom, that brother is older than me, why don't you eat by yourself?"
Indeed, many parents always feel that if their children get good grades, everything will be fine
But it often ignores the child's actual ability
Such a child, even if he enters a prestigious school in the future, will find it difficult to become a child
Julie Lee Scott Heems, an American educator who taught at stanford University for ten years and served as the provost of new students, pointed out in her best-selling book "How to Make Children Adults And Become Adults"
A child must have 8 abilities before the age of 18, which is not only related to their academics and achievements
It will affect their lives and survival, and determine their future outcomes
Let's take a look at what these 8 abilities are!
01
"Communication skills with strangers"
At Stanford University, a college freshman received a box from his parents on the first day of school
The box was so heavy that the college student, alone, couldn't move
But he didn't know how to help, because he was surrounded by unfamiliar people
In this way, he stood alone outside the school gate with a suitcase
He waited until his mother, who was thousands of miles away, called for help to call for help, that he was freed from trouble
Such a simple thing has become so complicated and difficult, in the final analysis, because this child's communication skills are so poor
As parents, we must cultivate our children's communication skills from an early age
Bring him more contact with new people and things, and when strangers come to the house, you must also let the children learn to say hello
In this way, after the child enters the society in the future, he will be more independent and the interpersonal relationship will become better
02
"The ability to adapt to unfamiliar environments"
This summer, the son's school organized an outdoor camping event
It is held jointly with several other schools
As a result, on the day of the event, I noticed a little boy
This little boy is not only a social expert, but also has a strong adaptability to the environment
I saw that he quickly mingled with the students of several schools, and after the activity officially began
This little boy has become the "bellwether" of the children.
Calm and calm in the face of things, bold and careful to complete the task
Seriously, such children will be more powerful when they enter society in the future
Many times, a person's ability to adapt to the environment is often more indispensable than the academic performance
As parents, we must cultivate our children's ability to adapt to unfamiliar environments, and take our children out to see the world more often
In addition, you can also take him on some excursions in your spare time
03
"The ability to self-plan and manage"
In life, we often find such phenomena
Some children enter the university as soon as they are completely confused, doing nothing all day, either messing around or playing around
Other children, on the other hand, are able to grasp the rhythm very well, even in college, they can manage their time and plan for the future in advance
Why is that?
It is because some children, although they study well in elementary school and high school, they often rely on parents and teachers to urge supervision
So when you get to college, you lack self-control
Other children develop the ability to plan and manage themselves from an early age
Therefore, even without parental supervision, you can discipline yourself very well
As a parent, we must cultivate our children's self-management ability from an early age
In this way, they will benefit for life because of self-discipline
04
"The ability to care for your family"
Some say that love is an instinct
But in fact, love is also an ability
In life, I often see some children, who are held in the palm of their hands from childhood, but when they grow up, they do not understand gratitude at all
There is such a story on the knowing
A father who, after a divorce, took the child alone, so he put all his hopes on raising the child
Over the years, he single-mindedly took care of his son, and finally his son was also very competitively admitted to 985
But one day when the child's grandmother was seriously ill, she wanted to see her grandson
The son refused his request to come back to see his grandmother, for fear of delaying the exam
As a parent, while paying attention to your child's grades
Be sure to learn to cultivate your child's ability to love
For example, you can usually let your children do more housework, so that children will understand the family's efforts and will not feel that everything is taken for granted
And a child who knows how to be grateful and knows how to pay will have more people like it in the future
Career and life will be smoother and more satisfying
05
"The ability to handle relationships well"
There is a daughter of a relative around her, who is both good at learning from a young age and is a veritable bully
However, this child has a lonely and introverted personality, and has not been able to walk with his classmates
Growing up, I could almost say that I had no friends
Relatives and couples also think that their children have excellent grades, and as for like-minded friends, they will always meet when they enter college in the future
They never expected that their daughter would be admitted to a prestigious school
However, in less than a year, because he could not get along with his roommates, he cried and cried to quit school
Carnegie once said
For a person to succeed, 15% depends on knowledge, while 85% depends on interpersonal relationships and the ability to interact with people.
There are also sentence clouds in ancient books
"More help for the righteous, less help for the lost"
If a person wants to survive in society, it is absolutely inseparable from the communication with others
As parents, we must cultivate our children's interpersonal relationship handling ability from an early age
Don't let the child be too humble and flattering, and don't let the child be too lonely and difficult to approach, or domineering and arbitrary. Selfishness is unreasonable
Remember that good interpersonal relationships will not only make a child's personality more sound, but also make his life more colorful
06
"Compressive resistance"
A 25-year-old graduate student
Because he could not bear the pressure of his studies, he chose to commit suicide
In today's society, such news is endless
For children who have lived in ivory towers since childhood, the ability of the mind to withstand pressure can be said to be very fragile
As a parent, we must cultivate our children's ability to resist stress from an early age
Take them to challenge more projects, and guide them to learn to face them when they make mistakes or encounter setbacks
Encourage them and make their hearts stronger and stronger
07
"The ability to make money and manage money"
I saw such a video not long ago
An 11-year-old boy, who set up his own stall, saved nearly ten thousand yuan in two years
And in life
We often hear or see news like this
Because so-and-so boy is obsessed with live broadcasting, he has saved money for a long time by his mother and rewarded the anchor
Or a certain girl spent tens of thousands of dollars in one go because she wanted to charge the game
A lot of times, for kids
They don't understand the importance of money and the hard work of making money
Therefore, it is natural to have no concept of spending money, so as to develop the habit of extravagance and waste
And once they develop this habit, it is likely to affect their life, making their future stretched. It's hard to walk
As a parent, you can usually cultivate your child's earning ability
Let the child know the hard work of making money, so as to learn to use money wisely
08
"Ability to take risks"
Life will always have risks and accidents of one kind or another
Parents cannot follow their children for the rest of their lives and protect him
Therefore, we must learn to let them face it from an early age
Consciously cultivate their sense of responsibility and ability to deal with things
Thus enhancing their courage and confidence in the face of risk
As actor Tong Dawei said
"The love we give to our children should be a ventilated wall, which can not only shield the wind and rain, but also through the wind and shine through the light."
As the saying goes: it is better to teach people to fish than to teach people to fish
Parents blindly satisfy their children and take care of their children in every detail
Over time, the child will inevitably become a nest of waste and white-eyed wolves who will only "reach out"
On the contrary, if you cultivate from an early age, your child has all kinds of abilities that can make a living
Then in the future the child will become a responsible, responsible, capable and happy adult.
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