In life, there is a very strange phenomenon:
For example, in the wine table, the more capable people are, the quieter they are; the more incompetent people are, the more they brag and make noise.
For example, in the work, the more capable people are, the more they can respect different opinions; the more incompetent people are, the more they like to point fingers at others.
……
But in fact, those who jump the highest, scream the loudest, and love to make a splash in everything are generally not powerful people.
Those who are really powerful are often silent and good at showing weakness and being clumsy.
01
Showing weakness is a state of "disdain".
Han Xin, known as the "Soldier Immortal", made countless military achievements in his life, and successively helped Liu Bang destroy the Qin state, the Wei state, and the Zhao state...
But what posterity admires most is that he endured the humiliation of his crotch.
When Han Xin was young, a butcher made a small request to Han Xin at the mouth of the vegetable market: "Either stab me with your sword, or drill under my crotch." ”
In those days, drilling under someone else's crotch was no less than running naked in the square for three days and three nights.
But Han Xin chose to bend down, he crawled under the butcher's crotch, then got up and patted the ash on his body, and walked all the way to the laughter of the crowd.
Many years later, Han Xin found the butcher and told him:
At that time, I was not afraid of you, but I was disdainful of killing you. If I had killed you, I wouldn't have had my own today.
I could stake my life on Xiang Yu, liu Bang, or even Lü Hou, but I wouldn't bet it on you.
As the saying goes, the general has a sword and does not cut off flies; the general rushes the road and does not chase the rabbit.
It's not that you can't catch up, it's not that you don't care to chase.
Clear and heavy, know how to advance and retreat, know the trade-offs, so as not to lose the big because of small.
Admitting defeat at the right time is not cowardice, but having a sober cognition.
Bowing one's head and showing weakness is not a fear of things, but a state of disdain.
Those who dare to show weakness have mountains in their eyes and hills in their chests.
They do not find a sense of existence in the eyes of others, and they are even more disdainful of being heroic in the words of others.
02
Showing weakness is a kind of "roundabout" wisdom.
Read a sentence:
The wise man behaves in the world, such as the flexibility of water: through the sand and soil, it seeps and accumulates, and when it touches the rock, it twists and turns; when it is broken, it droops into a waterfall, and when it encounters a high mountain, it takes a different path.
Because of this, it eventually converged into a mighty river and ran to the vast ocean.
During the Warring States period, there were many military masters who had been in exile for hundreds of generations, the most famous of which were the two apprentices of Oniguzi, Sun Zhen and Pang Juan.
In 342 BC, the State of Wei and the State of Qi went to war, and the two sides were deadlocked at maling.
The Qi general Tian Ji was so anxious that he hurriedly asked Ji Sun Zhen.
Sun Bin said: "The Wei army has always been proud of its bravery, and Pang Juan is now anxious to fight a decisive battle with our army. We have to seize this mentality and tempt them to be deceived. ”
Therefore, Sun Zhi ordered that when encountering the Wei army, it should only retreat and gradually reduce the rice stove in the camp.
On the first day, there were 100,000 stoves in the Qi army camp; the next day, there were 50,000 stoves left; and on the third day, there were only 30,000 stoves left.
Pang Juan saw this and said triumphantly, "I already knew that the soldiers of the State of Qi were as timid as rats, and now they have escaped most of them in less than three days!" ”
Therefore, the general order was passed: leave the infantry and bulky supplies, concentrate the cavalry to advance lightly, and pursue the Qi army.
Sun Zhen had already detoured to both sides of Maling Road to ambush the Wei army.
In the end, the State of Qi won more with less and annihilated the main forces of the State of Wei in one fell swoop.
The so-called way of using soldiers is to attack the heart as the top and the siege to the bottom. The battle of the heart is the top, and the war of the soldiers is the bottom.
This is especially true of being human.
If you are a simple person, the world will naturally be a little less defensive about you.
If you are a trickster, others will naturally call up a little trick to deal with it.
Wang Yangming, a master of psychology, once wrote in the article "Chen Yan Bian Wu Shu" that he had "four tips for showing weakness":
He who will take what he wants, will fix it with it. Or abandoning cattle and horses and fleeing in disguise, or hiding their strength to show weakness, or lying in ambush, or sneaking in and asking for peace, are all tempting me to be profitable.
It is not a wise move to show strength everywhere; knowing how to be mean and clumsy is the top wisdom.
This tactic may seem simple, but it can be exchanged for the biggest victory at the lowest cost.
03
Showing weakness is a kind of "broad" pattern.
In the fourteenth year of Emperor Mingwu's reign, Zhu Chenhao, the King of Ning, launched a rebellion in Nanchang.
Wang Yangming raised an army to serve the king, turned the tide, and gathered troops from all over the country, and it took only 43 days to quell the rebellion.
However, at this time, the eunuch instigated the emperor to first release King Ning and then let the emperor personally suppress the rebellion to show the emperor's prestige.
On the other hand, fearing that Wang Yangming would obstruct them, the eunuchs spread rumors that Wang Yangming and King Ning had colluded to rebel, and that they had captured King Ning when they saw that the matter had failed.
Wang Yangming knew that once King Ning escaped, it might not be so easy to arrest him again, and he didn't know how many people would die if he put down the rebellion again.
The chief eunuch Daniel Zhang this person is narrow-minded and will not give up without taking advantage of it.
Therefore, he asked to see Daniel Zhang, and gave the credit for counter-rebellion, while he said that he could not get sick and lived in the temple.
Daniel Zhang gained benefits, tried desperately to mediate, and finally eliminated a catastrophe.
Many people were upset about Wang Yangming, thinking that Wang Yangming was afraid of a group of eunuchs, but Wang Yangming did not think so.
In the face of the interests of the state, what can the face of the individual be?
Those who have great instruments must have a long-term view, be able to bend and stretch, and retreat into progress; those who become great things should take the overall situation as the most important thing, and if they lift a heavy weight, they can both take it and put it down.
They understand that to be strong and win a moment, to show weakness can win a lifetime.
Learning to hide your sharp edge is not only a realm, but also a pattern.
04
Showing weakness is a kind of cultivation of "indisputable".
Lao Tzu said, "Know its males, guard its females, and be the best of the world." For the sake of the world, Changde is inseparable, and returns to the baby. ”
The gist of this sentence is: knowing well what is male and strong, but keeping the position of female and feminine, willing to be the stream of the world, is the noblest virtue.
When I was in college, there was a Shandong buddy in the dormitory, Lao Zhang, who could drink, liquor up two pounds, and beer to drink.
During the National Day, college classmates got married, and I went to the wedding with Lao Zhang.
At the banquet, when the topic of alcohol was discussed, a boy kept provoking Lao Zhang and wanted to compare.
I am well aware of the character of the old Zhang Reckless Man, and I have a premonition that a fishy storm is coming, and this boy is afraid that he is going to be unlucky.
Old Zhang poured well, directly took out a medical record sheet and said that he was not okay now, dripping wine did not stick, touched the wine and poured.
A storm ended in the boy's laughter.
But Lao Zhang won the praise of all of us present.
Things have priorities, and cognition is divided into three, six, nine, and so on.
In the trivialities of triviality, competing for high and low will only pull down the pattern; and people at different levels will only waste their tongues when they argue winning or losing.
A smile is far more imposing than a sword; a proper show of weakness is far more attractive than a tit-for-tat confrontation.
At a certain age, you will eventually understand that quietness is the most far-sighted cultivation.
Watching the changes in the situation, without arguing, there will be less annoyance, less anger, more gentleness, more maturity.
▽
A famous French psychologist said:
If you want to make an enemy, that's easy to do, you just have to desperately overtake him and squeeze him.
But if you want to win these friends, you have to make a small sacrifice — to get the other person to get ahead of you and get ahead of you.
Those who dare to show weakness are people who live through.
Life is not a battlefield, and there is no need to compete for everything.
Competing for fame and profit, inflating desire, will live very tired.
Knowing how to show weakness is a kind of cultivation, a kind of wisdom, a pattern, and even more a realm.
In the future, may you and I cultivate such a transparent mentality, showing weakness without weakness, being strong but not being strong, and living freely and calmly.
Source: WeChat public account "one book per night"
Author: Wanjun
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