Text: Blue Dream
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Why do women like to pursue love?
Different people will have different answers to this question. But there is nothing more recognized than to drive away loneliness.
Because of his bizarre life, the ancients in "Ancient Dust" have long had things that all women in this world like: beautiful looks, noble origins, loyal subordinates, successful careers, and long lifespans.
But she was still willing to put down the shelf on her upper body and pursue Bai Jue. The most fundamental reason is that she is afraid of loneliness.
She was afraid of the cold in the heights, and she was even more afraid that she would not be able to complete the task entrusted to her by the ancestral gods; she was afraid of the asceticism on this road, and she was even more afraid that she would be alone.
So even if she has more, she also hopes to have someone to accompany her to see the vicissitudes of the sea and the beauty of the world.
As if the right person has made his life meaningful, he feels that no matter how bitter it is; as if the right person has given himself the courage to continue living, whether it is a majestic mountain or a gushing river, he can face it fearlessly; as if the right person has made himself the most powerful dependence, let his wandering heart have a place to rest.
Especially women who are entering middle age.
At this time, their appearance and their bodies are gradually declining, but their responsibilities are not reduced, on the contrary, more than when they were young. In this case, they will naturally pin their hopes in life on their partners, after all, he has accompanied her for so long and is also the most capable person to rescue themselves.
The problem is, life is not a TV series. In the TV series, Bai Jue did not hesitate to use thousands of years of time in order to make Shanggu fall in love with herself, in short, as long as she was happy.
And in life, countless trivialities, repeated disputes, will gradually lose the man's dependence on women, more often, he will see her as a burden and a burden, even if she has paid a lot for the whole family; he will see her as a bondage, even if in the process he gives her more constraints than this.
Feelings are unreasonable. When he loved her, she was the treasure in his heart, and no one could bully her; when he didn't love her, she was the most hated person in his heart, so he could bully.
If a woman turns her life into a TV series, then she is doomed to disappointment. Just like Wang Yiru in "Forty Not Confused".
She longs for her husband, who has entered middle age, to be as enthusiastic as when she first fell in love; to have all the days as sweet as when she was newly married; to have a future as brilliant as the past, prompting their family to become the envy of everyone.
However, life is a boat that does not flow against the current. Getting a man who has been repeatedly traumatized by years to treat his beloved girl with enthusiasm and passion like a young man in his twenties is a problem in itself.
Because years of wind and rain have left him with a lot of holes, because the burden of life has been pressed on his spine, because the trivialities of life have made him lose all his energy and enthusiasm.
And Wang Yiru did not care about these at all, but chose to collide repeatedly in the walls of marriage, and finally hurt himself and hurt the other party.
Smart women know that this is a bad practice, so the longer she enters middle age, the more she likes to be "alone".
They are mostly likely likely to have two mindsets.
1. "Alone" allows women to see themselves clearly
A person spends the longest time with herself, but not every woman can see her future clearly and unswervingly work towards the future she expects.
The simplicity of "The Journey of No Confusion" is that after facing the betrayal of her boyfriend, she also thought that when everything before did not happen, and then the two of them deceived themselves and continued to live.
In the future, their marriage may have all kinds of problems. But which marriage is not a problem?
Moreover, her age, her family, and her conditions did not allow her to refuse. She is a real older leftover woman, and her advantage has gradually disappeared. Looking at her parents who were running back and forth for her, how could she bear to let them worry about themselves anymore? If she is a millionaire, she naturally does not worry about marriage. Didn't actress Lin Chiling also find her own place after entering middle age?
The problem is, she's not. She was just an ordinary woman, doing an ordinary job. In the face of huge life pressure, she did not have the capital to talk about her dreams.
The boyfriend has broken their original vows, met her bottom line, and she just wants to leave her. But reality forced her to consider this seemingly seductive proposal.
In that moment, simplicity is uncomfortable, it is struggling, it is overwhelmed. Other women will most likely talk to other women at this time, while Simple chooses to think alone.
It was this reflection that made her make the right decision, and from then on she had the possibility to overcome everything.
Women who are "alone" know that by enjoying loneliness, you can truly appreciate the value of loneliness and see clearly what you want. So they do subtraction.
2. "Going it alone" will make you learn to refuse
The first word that people say is mostly "no." Psychologists call it a wonderful word because it means that people are self-aware.
However, as they get older, many people are under various pressures and slowly lose their ability to reject others. The most they say in life is "good."
For example, simple. She may not like to live separately, nor may she be completely comfortable with her boyfriend living alone in Beijing. But when she sees her boyfriend's eyes that are eager to go out, when he reassures herself, when he describes their future to herself, she has to put her worries and dislikes to heart and then smile and answer "yes."
If she chooses to refuse, the boyfriend is sad, and their feelings will face a crisis. But at least it will save you from the struggle later.
At that time, she will have more time and energy to find the right person, and there is no need to stay up to become an old girl, and finally her advantage in the marriage market has been repeatedly reduced, becoming the "will" in the mouth of men.
Because she didn't refuse, the problems that had plagued her reappeared years later. Most importantly, she did not have the strength to fight back this time.
Because the cost of choosing confrontation is too great.
Fortunately, she was finally reborn in the refinement and found the path she wanted to take.
When people reach middle age, women who like to "come and go alone" are mostly these two mentalities: "alone" makes her see herself clearly, so that she has the ability to say "no". In this case, she will live a wiser and more exciting life.
I wish you could be such a person.
END.