What is a "good teacher"?
A: I like to be other people's teachers, point out others with a higher posture, and give some effective and ineffective suggestions.
Mencius said, "The taboo of man is to be a good teacher." ”
Meaning: The biggest taboo in interpersonal communication is that you like to be someone else's teacher.
Of the four words "good teacher", the most offensive is "good".
The meaning of this word in the word is: habitual, like, subconscious.
From the perspective of those who are good teachers, it shows their self-showing, self-satisfaction, and condescending psychology.
In life, we can often see people who are "good teachers", who always point fingers at others with their shallow knowledge and narrow experience, mislead others' ideas, and interfere with others' lives.
Getting along with such people will only make people feel uncomfortable and want to escape.
-01
Why are people "good teachers"?
First: low self-esteem and desire for recognition
This reminds me of Mr. Lu Xun's "Kong Yiji".
This role, Presumably, everyone is not unfamiliar, right?
Kong Yiji is a typical inferiority sensitive personality, and also an "old good man".
He longs to help others and plays a flattering role in interpersonal interactions because his heart desperately needs the praise and approval of others.
It's also a bit like Ah Shu in the movie "Mr. Tree".
In essence, they are all small people with tragic overtones, immersed in their own spiritual world and unwilling to come out.
Eager to integrate into the outside world, but also worried about being looked down upon by others, worried about being seen through by others to see through their cowardice, inferiority, and sensitivity.
Therefore, they can only integrate into the circle around them by pleasing themselves, wronging themselves, and being a good teacher.
From the perspective of psychology, people who are good teachers actually have a relatively low sense of self-esteem.
No matter what happens, they always rush to the front;
Whoever is in trouble and whether he can help or not must come forward;
He is always the person in the crowd who likes to express himself the most, can speak the most, and is most willing to point out the country.
In this way, he hopes to satisfy his own value and cover up his inner sense of inferiority.
Second: there is no clear understanding of oneself
Simply put, it is: I can't find my own positioning.
For example:
Someone is a good teacher, but he has not read a few books, and he thinks of himself as a "college inquirer".
As a result, everyone constantly bragged about the few books they had just read, and constantly showed off the stories they heard from the sidelines.
The reason why they do this is to subconsciously portray themselves as a "cultural person character".
When a person is always in a state of scarcity in some way, once he has it, he will lose his mind and cannot find his own position.
For example, a beggar suddenly wins the jackpot and becomes a rich man.
He will be instantly overwhelmed by the bubble in front of him, thinking that he should belong to the "upper class".
But his background color is still just a small person.
The saddest thing about people is not to be a good teacher, but to be a teacher while not finding the real self.
Third: the weakness of human nature, like to show off themselves
Those who are accustomed to being good teachers also have a "show off mentality" in it.
Flaunting one's own knowledge, showing off one's own experience, relying on the old and selling the old, commanding one's arrogance, etc., these are the weaknesses of human nature.
The desire that cannot be restrained by oneself and overflows excessively can be regarded as a weakness in one's character.
When passing on their ideas to others and trying to influence others' decisions with their own opinions, the good teacher also gets a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment from it.
It's just that what they think in their hearts is: "I am better than you, I am better than you, I have a stronger sense of superiority." ”
-02
What are the obvious manifestations of "good teachers"?
Habit of interfering with other people's lives and thoughts, and trying to use their experiences and thinking patterns to influence your decisions.
This is a state of mind of "projective identity."
For example, in the process of getting along with lovers, he will constantly interfere with the lover's thoughts and thinking;
When friends get along, he will constantly impose his own ideas on each other.
Get used to pointing fingers at others.
Another obvious manifestation is pointing, no matter what others are doing or saying, he must come forward to "join in the fun".
Despite the impatience shown by others, he remained unmoved and insisted on himself.
Arrogant and arrogant, not easy to admit mistakes, admit death.
Even if what he says is wrong, the point he makes is biased, and his ideas have a negative impact on others, and he is not willing to easily admit his mistakes.
Insisting on oneself, being stubborn, and being paranoid and narrow-minded is the performance of the personality of such people.
-03
How to avoid becoming a "good teacher"?
First: learning is for yourself, not showing off
Why do people learn knowledge?
Throwing out the angle of pursuing interests is actually for the sake of self, pleasing yourself, and enriching yourself.
In the end, people are actually pursuing their true selves all their lives; and constantly learning and accepting new knowledge is constantly talking to themselves.
The present you are always more knowledgeable, more rational, and more broad-minded than the past you were.
But if a person is a good teacher, then he can easily become a "frog at the bottom of the well", so he is self-contained and satisfied.
Learning is endless, endless, and people will move towards higher spiritual needs in addition to meeting the most basic needs.
Knowing this truth, you naturally will not show off anything with others.
After all, people who understand you will only discuss with you, people who don't understand you, even if you show off, they don't know.
Second: others do not take the initiative to open their mouths, do not rush to perform
Too much is not necessarily a good thing.
In interpersonal communication, you must first become a qualified "listener" before expressing your own views.
When others are in trouble and do not take the initiative to open their mouths, do not easily help; unless the other party has kindness to you, you must help at this time.
Other than that, in some normal relationships, don't be in a hurry to express yourself.
If you do something wrong, others will blame you; if you do a good job, others may not appreciate it.
Know how to stop at the right time and maintain a sense of proportion, so as not to be a "good teacher".
We can give some advice and guidance to others, but don't "point fingers".
Today's Topic:
Are there any "good teachers" people around you?
(Article with picture source network)