Contemporary prose || looking at the mother in heaven in the shadow of tears

Text/Liu Xuegao

Xuancao has always been known as "mother flower" in China.

Grass, also known as forgetful grass.

Flower language of Xuancao: Always love your mother, great motherly love, loving mother.

The child sent a worry-free grass to the mother, wishing the mother to stay away from troubles and sorrows, physical and mental pleasure, health and longevity.

- Caption

There is a person who always occupies the softest place in your heart, and you are willing to love her with your whole life; there is a kind of love that makes you wantonly take and enjoy, but does not want anything in return... This person is called "mother", and this kind of love is called "mother's love".

From ya ya to learn, memorize poems and read, it is my mother who tirelessly teaches me over and over again; tired, sleepy, sick, it is my mother's protection that makes me peaceful; the ding-dong before school, the joy and sorrow after school; the kites in spring and the rolling on the grass, swimming in summer; the outings in autumn, reading with me under the lights in winter. All of this is the warmth of my mother's love for me.

Whenever I receive the blessing of being a mother, that big wave of "forgetfulness grass" reminds me of my mother. Sadly, I never had the opportunity to send blessings to my mother in my lifetime.

When I was fifteen years old, I lost my mother, and today, October 2nd, is my mother's death day, holding the flowers that my son blessed me on National Day, looking at my mother in heaven in the shadow of tears: "Mom, you, see?" ”

There are no blessings, only prayers, praying that the heavens in the next life will give me a "whole" mother.

My mother was born in 1928 in The Du family of Wangcun, Zhi hometown, Huang County, Shandong Province, to a poor family, and my father died in Beiping when I remember. Grandma dragged her three children to make ends meet by doing needlework for the landlord and relatives. My mother collected firewood from an early age and supplemented the family.

My mother's uncle and aunt joined the Eighth Route Army in their early years, and under their influence and education, my mother learned some revolutionary principles from an early age. In 1942, the party organization sent underground party members to the Wangcun Yanjia Primary School, so that the children of the poor could go to school, and with their own active demands and the consent and support of their grandmother, the mother went to the Wangcun Yanjia Primary School to go to school, and this year, the mother was 13 years old. At school, my mother, with the enthusiasm of resisting Japan and saving the country, studied cultural knowledge assiduously, and followed her teacher to participate in revolutionary activities. During this period, the Eighth Route Army often went to Wang Village to publicize the anti-Japanese resistance and perform dramas, and the school often organized students to perform the drama "White Haired Girl" and sing anti-Japanese songs. Once, at a concert at Zhijia, my mother was rewarded with a notebook and a pen. She has always treasured it, and whenever she sees it, her face is always filled with happiness and pride. It is a pity that this treasure that accompanied her mother to the Yimeng Mountains and participated in the Battle of Huaihai was copied and destroyed during the Cultural Revolution.

In 1945, when the Eighth Route Army liberated Huangxian County, her mother and her classmates risked their lives to go to the front line to carry stretchers and rescue the wounded.

When my mother was in the literary troupe, she performed very well every time, and was admired by her father, who was the leader of the cultural and industrial troupe with a gun in one hand and a pen in the other. The father entrusted someone to introduce it, but the mother has not expressed its position. The father was in a hurry and personally proposed to his mother.

In 1947, my mother married my father in her unit in the Yimeng Mountains. At that time, my mother was 19 years old and my father was 29 years old. After marriage, my mother took my father back to my hometown in Huangxian County in a hurry. After the father and mother got married, the relationship was very deep. At that time, my father had already begun to work on the novel "Railway Guerrilla". Just when my father had completed the outline of "Railway Guerrilla" and was ready to write "Railway Guerrilla", the Liberation War began. At this dangerous moment when the flames of war were burning, my father dismissed the idea of writing "Railway Guerrilla", and as a special reporter of the "Shandong Corps" and "Frontline Newspaper", my father and mother participated in the world-famous "Battle of Huaihai" with the army (Shandong Corps Was on January 9, 1948, according to the spirit of the instructions of the Central Committee, the East China Field Corps, that is, the Eastern Front Corps, held a cadre meeting in The Village of Dataitou in Yexian County, and decided to launch a new army reorganization movement in the whole army. At the end of February, after completing the task of reorganizing the army, in accordance with the orders of the Central Military Commission, the East China Field Corps, under the jurisdiction of the 7th, 9th and 13th Columns and the Bohai Sea Column, undertook the operational tasks of the Shandong Battlefield). He witnessed the scene of the total annihilation of the 800,000 troops of the Chiang Family Dynasty, and wrote a large number of novels and commemorative literature that reflected the Battle of Huaihai, such as "Machine Gun Shooter Lao Diao" and "On the Breakthrough Gate" written during the liberation of Anhui Lingbi.

The Battle of Huaihai began on November 6, 1948, and ended in victory on January 10, 1949. During this period, many of his father's manuscripts and materials were saved by his mother Liu Su at the risk of his life, and these materials were later used in the creation of the "Records of the Battle of Huaihai" and other works.

In the autumn of 1949, in order to assist her father in creating the "Railway Guerrilla", my mother accompanied my father to my hometown in Huangxian County to sort out the lost materials. It took more than two months to reorganize, sort out, and write for more than two months, and finally completed the general context of the work. Many chapters were transcribed by mothers for fathers. The father smiled and said to the mother, "Good. The secretary and assistant shoulder to shoulder."

In the early days of the liberation of Shanghai, my mother was sent to Shanghai to study film performance, and participated in the filming and performance of the movie "The White Soldier".

After the liberation of the whole country, his father served as the director of the Jinan Literary Association. In 1950, the Shandong Provincial Federation of Literature and Literature was established, and his father served as the director of the Editorial Department. When the smiling face of the new China ushered in the first light, the mother took off her military uniform and turned to the local area. In the early days of the founding of the People's Republic of China, everything was wasted and waiting to The conditions in all aspects are extremely difficult, and under the arrangement of the organization, there is finally a home that can shelter from the wind and rain.

From 1947 to 1951, her mother and father fought in the Yimeng Mountains in the smoke of gunfire and participated in the Battle of Huaihai, but they have not been stable. It was only in 1951 that my mother gave birth to my brother. This was the mother's first child, when the mother worked in the literary troupe, the innocence and passion of the people in that era reached its peak, and due to the continuous performance, the child was born two months prematurely and was hospitalized. During this period, my father held a meeting in Beijing for more than a month, and when he returned, he immediately ran to the hospital to visit his mother and brother. His father, who was middle-aged and happy, took his mother's hand and said only one word, "I'm sorry for you." He choked up.

Unfortunately, the fate is unfortunate, the mother's premature child, the father's middle-aged son, the brother who is the deputy director of the Hainan New Continent Motorcycle Factory, in March 1993, in a car accident to protect the colleagues around him, was killed in a car accident.

In 1952, my mother gave birth to her second child, and that was me. At that time, my father was busy writing "Railway Guerrilla" all day, and his eyes were red, and in addition to going to work, my mother also had to take care of my father and me, helping my father to copy and organize manuscripts.

In the years when I was growing up, I encountered the "Cultural Revolution", and at the age of 15, I was sent to the countryside to undergo reform, and I was snubbed and spurned.

My mother in my memory can sing and dance, and when I was a child, I often followed my mother and circled around. Sometimes, like a lively and mischievous little rabbit, I jumped around imitating my mother, and when I was tired, I would hold my mother's thighs and look at my mother with my small face on my back. At this time, my mother smiled slightly, leaned down and picked me up, "Well, I'm getting fat again, and my mother can't hold it anymore." ”

My mother's arms are always so warm, so warm, like a vast harbor, which can sweetly fall asleep when I am tired.

From 1947, when she married her father, to 1967, she fought, worked and lived together for 20 years, that is, she was her wife, mother, and father's assistant and secretary; she assisted her father in the creation of long, medium and short stories such as "Lay grass", "Railway Guerrilla", "Grass Collection", "A Heroic Reconnaissance Team", "The Seed of Masson Pine", "The Squad members of the Railway Guerrilla", "Flying on the Grass", "The Story of Yimeng Mountain", "Red Sister-in-law", "Yimeng Mountain Story Collection" and so on.

At the beginning of the "Cultural Revolution", my father was beaten into a "bourgeois roader", "gangster leader", and "Soviet revision agent", and my mother also followed the fight and suffered severe mental torture. The family was driven from the bungalow to a dilapidated six-room bungalow. The nanny was also driven away, and Grandma came to help with the housework and take care of our six children.

During the National Day in 1967, my mother was forced to participate in the conference of criticizing her father every day, and watched her father, who fought with herself in the Yimeng Mountains and fought side by side in the Battle of Huaihai, was punched and kicked by the rebels on the stage, pushed around, and pulled her hair to make him bow her head, her mother's heart was broken, and her mother's tears dried up. On October 2, on the way to the conference to criticize fathers, I was killed in a car accident, when my mother was only 39 years old, leaving us with 6 underage children, the eldest 16 years old and the youngest 6 years old. In desperation, the great aunt left her own children from her hometown in Jixian County, Henan Province to take care of and raise us (in order to thank the great aunt for her nurturing grace, I wept blood and worshipped and remembered the great aunt in "Late Prayer").

Looking at my mother lying on the funeral car, Grandma Mumu's expression, low voice, gently holding my little hand, the other hand wrapped around me, I snuggled in Grandma's arms, the little head was crooked on Grandma's shoulder: "Child, a person, is a small raindrop, falling from the sky, merging into a big river, and finally into the sea." ”

When I became a mother myself, when I became a grandmother myself, I remembered the scene when my mother left me with her eyes wide open, and how great the pain she was, how helpless she was, how reluctant she was to leave our land. The funeral car carried the whimpering of my mother, and the moment it went with the wind, it was forever engraved in the depths of my young soul.

I pray, pray for the next life, that God will give me a "whole" mother.

Photo Caption:

This is the first group photo of his mother Liu Su and his father Liu Zhixia after they transferred to the local area after the founding of New China, and it can also be regarded as a wedding photo. After that, the new China was founded, and the parents were busy with work; until the "Cultural Revolution" lost their mother, they never left any group photos. This photo of their parents is the only photo they left behind.

[Liu Xuegao] pen name Changfeng; He graduated from Shandong Qilu Petrochemical Party School and graduated from Shandong Qilu Petrochemical Party School, and is a member of Shandong Provincial Prose Literature Society.

Contemporary Essays

Sponsored by the Shandong Provincial Prose Literature Association, the prose bimonthly publishes the works of the members of the Shandong Provincial Prose Literature Association, and welcomes Shandong prose writers to apply to join the Shandong Provincial Prose Association. The Shandong Provincial Prose Literature Association holds various prose activities throughout the year to provide book publishing services for writers. Submission email: [email protected], [email protected]

One Point Number Contemporary Prose