The original author of this article is Sunshine Ashen.
I hope that his sharing can give strength and hope to families suffering from school aversion.
Sunshine Ashen:
Tuesday, December 28, 2021, this morning, breakfast with the child's mother, bread, milk cereal porridge. During the meal, the sound of my porridge drinking aroused strong dissatisfaction from my teammates, who told me that it was very uncomfortable to hear this sound, and hoped that I would not make a sound. I think my voice is just normal, and she drinks porridge and she has such a voice. In the past three years, we have often quarreled and clashed because of this, I think it is very uncomfortable to eat comfortably, she thinks it is a very difficult sound, why not change it, is it necessary to share meals later? If in the past, the conflict would have erupted rapidly and could have lasted for 1 day. Now, we can all think about our emotions.
After the meal, we exchanged ideas about it. Teammates said, that's how I don't like the sound. I don't think my voice is enough to cause discomfort in others, because for decades, I haven't received similar feedback from others except for my teammates in recent years. I'm more worried that this is the iceberg effect, that is, the surface phenomenon hides problems that we don't know. But I'm willing to adjust myself to avoid making this sound that is only when drinking porridge. Teammates say, is there really a phonophobia? I checked it on the Internet and didn't expect to really have this statement!
Here is an excerpt from an article about "phonophobia":
Chewing is one of the most sensitive sounds in people with phonophobia.
Many people who are plagued by phonophobia feel lonely because of "why am I the only one who is so strange" before they can access information channels. However, a 2014 study found that up to 20% of 483 college students had symptoms of phonophobia.
Some doctors and scientists have artificially suggested that this overreaction to sound is nothing more than a byproduct of other psychiatric disorders, in other words, phonophobia may be a "symptom" rather than an independent "disease." In contrast, those "legitimate" diseases that have been found to be related to phonophobia are many more eye-catching, including the well-known obsessive-compulsive disorder, tic Tourette's disease, pan-anxiety disorder and schizophrenia. It is not difficult to imagine that if a patient says that he has the urge to go forward as soon as he hears someone else nibbling on an apple, doctors will most likely start with mental disorders that have clear diagnostic criteria, rather than "phonophobia" with only a small number of clinical reports.
The results showed that the volunteers' manifestations of phonophobia had many common features, and that, according to the clinical diagnostic criteria currently in circulation, no single mental disorder could fully include their symptoms. Therefore, they propose to "justify" phobics, establish it as a separate mental illness, and initially list the diagnostic criteria:
1. Patients will be provoked by some artificial sounds to provoke negative physiological and behavioral reactions;
2. When hearing these sounds, the patient first feels irritable and disgusted, and then quickly escalates to anger, and sometimes there is an out-of-control aggressive behavior;
3. The patient can realize that his reaction is irrational;
4. Patients tend to actively avoid occasions where these sounds will appear;
5. Patients will feel anxious and self-blamed for their own reactions, and even affect normal life;
6. The patient's reaction cannot be explained by other mental disorders.
Phonophobia has hardly been studied and has not yet been formally recognized as a mental or neurological disorder. However, some psychologists have seen the severe suffering it causes to patients, and they are convinced that it should be taken seriously. The underlying mechanisms of phonophobia are not fully understood, but scientists suspect it is caused by the way some people's brains process and respond to specific sounds.
In a new study published May 17 in the journal Scientific Reports, Denys and his colleagues monitored the brains of 21 participants with phonophobia and 23 healthy participants who watched video clips of triggering sounds, such as lips smacking; neutral events, such as meditation; or vulgar scenes from movies.
Only the silent fragments caused different reactions between the two groups. When watching videos of lips smacking or heavy breathing, people with phonophobia feel intense anger and disgust, and their heart rate spikes. Their brain scans showed overactiveness in the prominent network, a set of brain regions that direct our attention to the obvious things in our surroundings.
The results of this study dovetail with those published last year by another research group in the journal Contemporary Biology. The study found that in people with phonophobia, triggering sounds can overload the protruding network and activate brain regions responsible for regulating fear and emotions, and form long-term memories. Using different brain imaging techniques, the researchers found that the connections between these brain regions were different, and that people with phonophobia were structurally stronger than healthy people.
These findings have led scientists to suspect that phonophobia is caused by different wiring of the brain, causing the brain to perceive specific sounds that are very prominent and respond with intense anxiety and pain. In other words, this brain's response to the sound of chewing is more appropriate for responding to the roar of a lion.
There are many similarities between people who have experienced phonophobia, but there are also many differences, patients feel anxious when they hear sounds, some people feel disgusted, and some people feel anger. This complicates our understanding of the condition.
Source of the above article: Jian Shu
Author: Above Life
And to find the real problem, the solution without emotional opposition is very simple, I sincerely put down the sound of drinking porridge during eating.
Unfortunately, it never occurred to us before that this was a problem, and we have been trying to bring each other to their knees with conflict and confrontation, a process that has seriously undermined family harmony and hurt children. This is just a small episode in life, but as you can see, we find that the answer to the question took several years, and the cost is even greater!
As a parent, don't think that it is difficult to understand your children, understand your family members, and actually understand yourself! The road to self-awareness and self-change is long, but it's never too late to start!