Source: Network
As the saying goes: "It is difficult to draw a ghost when painting a dragon and a tiger, and it is difficult to know the face of the person and not the heart", and the human heart is the most difficult thing in the world to ponder.
What kind of people are worth making friends with?
Zeng Guofan told us that with four methods, we can see through a person.
1. Be honest with people
An honest person can always treat others respectfully, but he must be able to do what he says when he opens his mouth. So, what does it look like to be an honest person?
Zeng Guofan concluded: "When we meet each other, we must respect each other, and we must be sincere in our mouths." ”
Zeng Guofan not only often taught his family members to be honest, but also tried to treat others with sincerity. At a banquet, Zeng Guofan heard his subordinates commenting on the general.
Some people say: "Zuo Shuai is strict, and people dare not deceive; Li Shuaiming, people cannot cheat." ”
Zeng Guofan asked with interest, "Can you give me an evaluation?" "The subordinates look at each other.
Finally, a small official whispered, "Zeng Gongren, people can't bear to be deceived." Everyone praised it, and Zeng Guofan himself was very pleased in his heart. This small incident just shows that Zeng Guofan Suchang has indeed done it with sincerity.
This is exactly what Wei Wei said, "The only thing that a gentleman guarantees lies in integrity, and there is no second heart under the integrity of the establishment." Confucius said, "A man who has no faith does not know what he can do." ”
Honesty is the foundation of the establishment of the world, an honest and trustworthy person, other aspects must not be bad, worthy of deep friendship.
2, do things in a measured manner
As the saying goes, there must be a degree of doing things, and the failure of the degree will be a mistake.
Zeng Guofan, who has been groping and fighting in the official field for decades, is especially advocating doing things as a person, and he has a degree of moderation. The way to success lies in the outer circle and the inner square, the internal integrity, and the external scale.
Zeng Guofan had a strong general named Bao Chao. Once Bao Chao had a conflict with Zeng Guoquan and threw up his hands.
Zeng Guofan pushed his heart to him: "You pick a son, people who understand the inside story know that you have an opinion with Lao Jiu." People who don't understand the inside story will suspect that you are dissatisfied with the imperial court. When you do this, it is easy to leave others with a handle to attack you. ”
Rigidity and softness, outer circle and inner square, reasonable and knotted, soft and hard, not taking extremes, is the correct way to be a person. He used to say, "Leave a little leeway and turn around freely." Leaving no room, it is easy to lose to the rigid, wrong and helpless. ”
It is precisely because of this degree of relaxation, the outer circle and the inner square that Zeng Guofan has achieved the height of the temple and is safe and sound. Historically, Fan Li, Zhang Liang and other people with great achievements have also known how to stop in moderation and leave room for it.
Li Mian once said in "Half a Song": "Drinking is half drunk, and the flowers are half time to be partial." ”
Many times, success or failure rises and falls, and it depends on how to grasp the measure. Intersecting with people who are measured and understand the scale is a great gain.
3. Live an atmosphere
"Atmosphere" is a kind of personality charm. So, what is the atmosphere?
The ancients said: "A gentleman must endure what others cannot tolerate, tolerate what others cannot tolerate, and treat people who cannot be treated." ”
If a person is narrow-minded and lacks the amount of instruments, he is doomed to become a great instrument.
Zeng Guofan said: "Those who have become great things in ancient times are far-reaching in scale and meticulous in comprehensive reasoning, and both are indispensable. ”
In terms of atmospheric behavior, Zeng Guofan can be called an example. When he first arrived in Jiangxi, Zeng Guofan was preparing to rebuild the Water Division. However, in order to prevent Zeng Guofan from seizing power, Inspector Chen Qimai did everything to make things difficult for him. He even ordered a crackdown on officials and gentry who approached Zeng Guofan.
However, Zeng Guofan was indifferent to this. Whenever someone attacked him, he always sat in a precarious position, closed his eyes and recuperated.
It wasn't until the man shouted with his lips burned and looked around for water to drink, that he stood up slowly and said, "Drink slowly, you guys, I'm going back to training." ”
Zeng Guofan's epitaph reads: He was at odds with Zuo Zongtang, but admired Zuo Zongtang's talents, so he still valued him.
Zeng Guofan also instructed his son not to make enemies with Zuo Zongtang and Shen Baozhen. Such a kind of tolerance is an important manifestation of Zeng's overall situation and understanding of the overall situation.
Feng Menglong said in "Augmenting the Wisdom Tank Supplement": "If you can tolerate villains, you can become a gentleman." ”
People live an atmospheric life in order not to be troubled by the trivialities in front of them, and to look at the heavens and the earth wide.
4. Be humble in your words
Zeng Guofan once said: "Modesty between heaven and earth is the way to carry blessings." Arrogance is full, full is pouring. ”
In his view, it is the duty of "standing up to not speaking in vain", modest and cautious, and "not speaking in vain".
He not only asked himself and his family to be careful in their words and deeds, and to talk less about big words. Among all kinds of talents, he also prefers those who do things in a down-to-earth manner and do not talk much. Among the generals of the Xiang Army, Li Xubin was such a person.
He is usually very silent, as long as he opens his mouth, he must be incisive and do what he says. Therefore, Zeng Guofan greatly appreciated its use.
When recruiting the Xiang Army, Zeng Guofan also clearly stressed: We must recruit those rural peasants who are silent and taciturn, and not those who are slippery in the oil cavity in the city.
Li Bai wrote in the "History of Pei Chang of Shang'an Prefecture": "The sky is not a word, but the four hours are traveled, and the earth is born without a word." ”
Doing things in a down-to-earth manner is more practical than all the rhetoric. The quietest of a group of people is often the most powerful.