I have a niece, the family conditions are very good, the relationship between her parents and her is also very good, the child is sensible, obedient, but there is a problem, that is, always can not be energetic about learning, when it comes to learning, it is irritable.
For this reason, the family uses every trick, for example, if the test is good, how much money will be rewarded, and if it is still like this, send her back to her hometown.
However, she just didn't move.
There are still many children in this situation, if they are not interested in learning, then, whether you come hard or give soft, they are not willing to act.
At most, driven by "pressure", squirming a little, it is simply more difficult to let them consciously take the initiative to learn than to ascend to the sky!
The Irish poet Yeats once said a sentence that was quoted by education experts around the world:
"Education is not about filling a bucket of water, but about lighting a fire."
Only by igniting the child's desire for knowledge and cultivating his enthusiasm for active learning and actively absorbing knowledge is the highest state of education.
To light this fire, you need a kind of strength, and this kind of power is the inner driving force.
What is the intrinsic drive?
The definition of intrinsic driving force: it is an internal state of arousal or tension that arises on the basis of need, which is manifested as the internal motivation to promote the activity of the organism to achieve the satisfaction of needs.
Simply put, I have something missing, without this thing, I will be very uncomfortable, this sense of lack will push me to do something.
For example, I'm very poor now, I need money, and in order to get money, there will be a force that pushes me to do things, and this force is the internal driving force.
But learning is a higher need, and the need for learning and self-actualization arises only when the underlying physiological needs, security needs, belonging needs, and respect needs are met.
Therefore, the premise of awakening the intrinsic driving force of learning is to first meet the needs of the underlying layer.
For the child, parents need to ensure that he is physically and mentally healthy, confident, valuable, and has good interpersonal relationships, then, on this basis, think about how to awaken the inner driving force.
Imagine if a child in the following family environment has a need to learn:
Couples quarrel all day long, and families face collapse at any time.
Parent-child relationships are extremely poor, and children are often criticized, blamed, and even scolded.
Therefore, when asked how to improve children's academic performance, first ask the above two questions, because this is the basis and premise for parents to awaken their children's inner driving force.
What are the benefits of intrinsic drive?
There is a saying called "carrot and stick", which means that if you obey, then I will reward you, and if you do not obey, then I will punish you.
Rewards and punishments are also a driving force, but they belong to the external driving force, compared to the internal driving force, the external driving force has the following problems:
Not continuous.
The biggest problem with rewards and punishments is that when there is it, the child may act, but once it is not, the child will immediately stop acting.
Transfer of responsibility cannot be achieved.
Learning is a child's business, but also the child's responsibility, but rewards and punishments can easily transfer this responsibility to the parents, the child will feel that learning is for the parents to learn, then his investment will certainly not be high.
The half-life is too short.
If parents use rewards and punishments as chips, then this chip will soon become ineffective, you need to continue to increase the chips in order to continue to push the child to learn, there will always be a time when the child cannot be satisfied, and at that time, what to do.
Compared to the external drive, the benefits of the internal drive are obvious.
Higher engagement.
The child will think that learning is his own business and his responsibility, so he will consciously and voluntarily invest, and he does not care about any rewards and punishments.
Action is more lasting.
Because the child regards learning as a matter of satisfying his own needs, he will continue to act, because the characteristics of learning this matter are that the more he learns, the more ignorant he is, the more he learns, the more he is engaged, and the child will continue to explore new knowledge and constantly challenge difficulties.
A greater sense of accomplishment.
Since there is no need for rewards and punishment chips, once the child has a breakthrough, his inner feeling will be very good, and he will enjoy the joy of this success even more.
Fan Deng's father, a professor of mathematics at the university, according to Fan Deng, his father's favorite thing to do is to do math problems, people ask him, why do you never relax, his father said, do math problems is to relax.
When a person takes learning as a way to relax, he does not feel that learning is very bitter at all, he believes that learning is relaxation, learning itself is a pleasure, which is the typical internal drive.
How to awaken the inner motivation of children's learning?
The premise of awakening children's inner driving force to learn is to meet the needs of the bottom layer first, which is very important!
Therefore, giving unconditional love to the child, supporting him, understanding him, caring for him, loving him, encouraging him, these are the instincts of parents, and they are also the most important things to do as parents.
When these are satisfied, the awakening of the child's inner driving force mainly depends on the following three points:
01
Give your child full autonomy in learning
What is autonomy?
That is, in the case of no one to force, they want to do it in their own eyes, and for children, learning is not to please their parents, nor to escape punishment, or to learn from the heart.
When the child can decide when to learn and what to learn, his autonomy is actually released, especially for adolescent children, they have no resistance to the "self-control" thing, as long as they can decide for themselves.
Giving a child the autonomy to learn is the most basic condition for awakening his inner drive.
As parents, we habitually take control of the child, excessive intervention, always feel that the child does not understand things, need the assistance and supervision of the parents, in fact, these practices, invisibly, deprive the child of autonomy, summarized as follows:
Accompany homework. The purpose of homework is to test and consolidate the knowledge of the day, it is necessary for children to complete independently, but we are forced by the pressure of school teachers, as well as their own anxiety, to impose interference on the child's homework problem, the result is the transfer of homework responsibility, the child will feel, parents urge, I will do, parents do not urge, I have been dragging.
Substitute interest classes. When choosing an interest class, we always arrange courses for the child according to our own wishes, you know, the interest class is called the interest class because it is based on interest, the child has no interest in things, you have to impose on him, this is not to deprive him of autonomy.
Life is a big package. When the child goes to primary school, he can do too much, but we always feel that the child has not grown up, not mature enough, so the child's life of the various things packaged, gradually, the child feels that these things are parents, there is no need to participate.
Because we are accustomed to interference, accustomed to control, so, the development of a child's personality of dependence on others, his sense of autonomy will become extremely poor, he is more inclined to look at the eyes of his parents, he prefers to shift the responsibility to the parents.
Summary: If we want to awaken the internal driving force of children's learning, the first thing we must do is to transfer the responsibility of learning to the child, who can decide what to learn, when to learn, and to what extent.
At the same time, in life, we must give the child more choices, often create some opportunities for him, and encourage him to complete independently.
02
Let the child experience the sense of accomplishment of learning first
To give your child a sense of accomplishment in learning, they need to have the following two conditions:
Competency.
Take mobile games, if a game is very difficult, as long as the child tries a few times and fails, he quickly gives up, because he is not competent, he is always abused, this feeling is very painful.
Corresponding to learning, in fact, it is the same, if the current course is too difficult and the child cannot hold it, then he will also give up.
Timely feedback.
Taking mobile games as an example, the most important job of game manufacturers is to set up various feedback in the game. For example, there is a reward for killing a mob, and the process of playing a game is the process of constantly creating feedback, corresponding to learning, the positive feedback that the child feels is relatively small, more is frustration, is stuck.
Based on the above two points, parents can do this:
Temporarily reduce the difficulty of learning.
Take some measures to lower the current learning difficulty, so that children can jump to get enough, for example, if the child's knowledge of the second year of junior high school can not keep up, then can you first make up from the first year of junior high, first let the child feel the benefits of learning, so that he can get some sense of achievement in learning.
Deliberately create feedback.
In an inspirational movie "Bottom Hot Girl", as long as the protagonist has a little progress, the cram school teacher will be desperately appreciated, desperately encouraged, in fact, this is feedback, like the game, the child can feel their own strength, slowly, the child will transfer this feedback to the learning itself, he will find pleasure from the process of doing the problem.
Summary: No one naturally likes to be abused, people prefer to do good things, want children to devote themselves to learning, fall in love with learning, then you have to let him feel the benefits first, let him experience the sense of accomplishment of learning first.
03
Cultivate your child's inner goals
Do everything to have a goal, this goal can be big, can also be small, but can not be without, there is no goal of things, people are easy to be confused, confused is easy to give up, giving up means failure.
Learning also needs to have goals, just think, I don't know what learning is going to do, do you think I will study hard, of course not.
Some people have said, isn't the goal of learning very clear, for the exam, for the sake of further education, for the sake of a better life in the future, are these goals?
I said yes! But they're not the best goals, at least the kids don't like them.
When we tell our children that learning is for a better future, but what is a good future, does the child know?
Today's children, most of the living conditions are good, basically belong to what to give, they feel that it is very good now, so why bother to study hard for an illusory and beautiful future.
Therefore, if you want to awaken the internal drive of children's learning, you need to help children find a good goal, which is what children can see, can feel, and want from the heart.
In my opinion, the following path can be taken:
(1) Goals related to self-actualization
But anyone who does great things has a grand goal, he is not to please anyone, nor to make much money, he just wants to do it from the heart.
For example, Jobs said to change the world, and Apple actually did.
For example, Zhou En, said, we must read for the rise of China! Finally became the highly respected Premier Zhou.
Our children, they originally had goals, some people wanted to be scientists, some people wanted to be astronauts, some people wanted to be big bosses, but we often forgot to remind him and let him get lost.
(2) Goals related to helping others and serving society
There was a little girl named Catherine, and when she was seven years old, she did something that caused a sensation in the world. Because of her kindness, she saved the lives of more than a million African children.
She was only five years old at the time, and she saw an African documentary on public television in the United States, which said that on average, every thirty seconds in Africa, a child died of malaria.
This gave her a great shock, she held her hand and counted, one, two, three... Thirty, when she counted to thirty, she said to her mother in horror, "An African child is dead, we must do something!" ”
After that, the little girl through various channels, even found the celebrity rich list of the year, "dared" to write letters to the big guys above, including Bill Gates...
Her kindness, which she has persisted for 12 years, has not changed her original intention, she has changed the status quo, and now the mortality rate of malaria in African children has been reduced from every 30 seconds to every 2 minutes.
If you're careful enough, you'll find that "helping others" is addictive, and when you make way for an old man when you drive in the morning, you'll find yourself happy all day.
The same is true for children, if you can tie learning to helping others and serving society, please rest assured that your children will be desperate to make efforts.
He will deeply experience the meaning of learning, he knows what he is for, and learning is no longer a pain for him, but a challenge to happiness.
(3) Goals related to the underlying needs
If you feel that the above two goals are too vain, then this one is more universal.
For example, my niece mentioned at the beginning has a good living environment, no pressure, no worries, but she just doesn't love to learn.
Therefore, through the analysis of her underlying needs, it was found that she was infatuated with handsome male stars and had some ideas about the opposite sex, which was actually very normal, this is the underlying needs of human beings, and it is not normal to have no ideas.
Then, taking advantage of the holiday, we took her to the university in the northeast, through deliberate arrangements, let her contact with the northeast long-legged Oba, which opened her eyes, it turned out that there were so many handsome guys in the university.
After that, we took her to Xiamen University, saw the men and women on campus, walking on the most romantic campus beach in China, and the niece was very excited, and kept saying that she must be admitted here, and then talk about a vigorous love...
The underlying needs of human beings will never change, as long as you can link them to learning, then children will naturally have a strong motivation to learn.
In summary, to awaken the inner driving force of children's learning, mainly rely on three points:
Give children full autonomy in learning;
First let the child experience the sense of achievement of learning;
Help children establish intrinsic goals for learning.
The highest state of education is to awaken the inner driving force of children, but children are children after all, and they do not understand things after all.
The internal drive is a kind of "push" force, and the reward and punishment of this external drive force is a kind of "pull" force, and a moving wheel needs to have multiple driving forces before it can move forward quickly.
Therefore, we must not kill with a stick, we only need to focus on it and moderately call the external driving force.
(This article is recommended by @ Zhixin teacher, selected from "national vocational education", the copyright belongs to the original author)
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