Early education and specialty cultivation have almost become the standard for contemporary children. As for children, while ensuring that their cultural grades are not worse than others, they must also ensure that their strengths are better than others.
To tell the truth, Toot Mom feels that the current children are really bad, and the pressure is not less than that of us adults. However, between the culture class and the specialty class, how should we choose? What is really right for kids?
What will the child look like in 10 years?
What will the child look like in 10 years? Is it a good child in other people's population or a good child in your own eyes?
This is the emotion that Toot Mom made when watching the documentary "Zero Zero". This documentary can be called the Chinese version of "Seven Years of Life". It took 12 years to record the 12 years of children growing up in the same kindergarten, whether the parents did it right or wrong, life can not be repeated, which is very emotional.
In the documentary, there is a child named Xi Kun, in kindergarten, he is very exploratory, often in the kindergarten with children to do experiments, the teacher did not prohibit, he also believes that Xi Kun's ability to explore is very strong.
However, Xi Kun's mother could not accept such a child. Mom thinks that Xi Kun's spirit of exploration is useless, and learning pronunciation and mathematics is useful, which can make Xi Kun a so-called honor student. So he forced Xi Kun to enter the language class.
But Xi Kun was not interested in this and became the worst child in the class, and he felt very depressed and inferior in the class. Mom still insists on her own concept, let Xi Kun give up his hobby, insist on step-by-step learning, although his mother is always gentle and whispering, but Xi Kun is very depressed.
Xi Kun is a teenager, and his favorite game to play is to hide in a big sheet.
Such a mother, we can not say that she did not do well, on the contrary, she is not less than others to pay, breastfeeding to 2 and a half years old, talking softly, never losing her temper, resigning from elementary school to study with her children...
The disadvantage is that she has her own views on her children and hopes that they will grow and develop according to her ideas. But this kind of thinking is also understandable, after all, all parents hope that their children's future is good, take the traditional road, although success can not be guaranteed, but at least can be based on society, another way, no one knows what lies ahead.
However, her path is very difficult, and Xi Kun is close to a state of collapse.
Grades are not all
Even now, especially in small cities or ordinary families, Xi Kun's mother-like parents account for the vast majority. But can grades really determine the whole of a child?
Howard Gardner, a psychological developmentist at Harvard University in the United States, proposed in 1983 that the school only emphasizes the development of students in logic- mathematics and language (mainly reading and writing). But that's not all human intelligence is all about.
Different people will have different combinations of intelligence, such as: architects and sculptors have a strong sense of space (spatial intelligence), athletes and ballet dancers have strong physical strength (physical operation intelligence), public relations interpersonal intelligence is stronger, writers have strong introspective intelligence, etc.
Having someone who isn't good at relationships do PR is just as much a waste of talent as having someone who's not good at writing be a writer. All roads lead to Rome, choose the path that children least love and have the least passion, adults and children will go quite painfully.
As a parent, have you also struggled with this:
Children like to draw, personality may be introverted, or learn mathematics;
Children like to skate, there is no counterpart major, or learn piano;
Children like liberal arts, there is no science good employment, or learn science.
In this way, it is very likely that the child will also "give up" his future: you let me learn, and if I don't learn well, I blame you.
8 kinds of intelligence, all roads lead to Rome
In 1967, the United States founded the "Zero Point Project" in the Harvard University Graduate School of Education, the main task is to study the strengthening of art education in schools and the development of human brain image thinking.
The theory of multiple intelligences is an important achievement of Gardner in this project. Multiple intelligences include:
Linguistic intelligence: Unusual sensitivity to sounds, rhythms, word meaning, and language. Typical groups: poets, writers, journalists, orators, etc.
Logic-Mathematical intelligence: Ability to use numbers, reasoning, and assumptions effectively. Typical groups: scientists, accountants, engineers, computer programmers, etc.
Spatial intelligence: Can think in a three-dimensional way, accurately feel the visual space, and be sensitive to colors, lines, shapes and spatial relationships. Typical groups: upholsters, architects, navigators, artists, pilots, etc.
Limb-kinesthetic intelligence: can skillfully use the body to express thoughts and feelings, and can flexibly use both hands to produce and transform things. Typical groups: actors, athletes, dancers, surgeons and craftsmen.
Musical Intelligence: Ability to perceive, discern, change, appreciate, express, or create. Typical groups: composers, musicians, music critics, singers, etc.
Interpersonal intelligence: good at detecting and distinguishing the emotions, motivations, intentions and feelings of others, and can effectively communicate with people. Typical groups: politicians, social workers, teachers, etc.
Introspective intelligence: can correctly construct the self, know how to use these consciousness perceptions to make appropriate behaviors, plan and guide their own lives. Typical groups: philosophers, psychologists, writers, etc.
Nature Observation Intelligence: Has the ability to distinguish and observe organisms and pay keen attention to natural landscapes. Typical population: archaeologists, collectors, gem connoisseurs, etc.
Each intelligence has a unique mode of thinking that distinguishes it from other intelligences. But these kinds of intelligence also need to be interdependent and complementary.
For example, if a child is very gifted in musical intelligence, his limb-kinesthetic intelligence must also be very developed in order to play beautiful music; his interpersonal intelligence will develop accordingly, because he needs to feel the emotions of others as creative material.
Due to genetic and environmental influences, some children may show different talents at an early age, while others may not discover their talents until adulthood.
Whether the grades are excellent or not only represents whether the child's language and logical mathematical intelligence are excellent, but it cannot represent the level of other intelligences, and cannot be used to belittle the child, so that they lose self-confidence and cannot discover their other potential.
How can I help my child discover and develop potential?
Each normal person has the above eight intelligences, due to genetic and environmental factors, each person has a different degree of development of various intelligences, and will also be in different ways to integrate or combine these eight intelligences.
How to help children discover and develop potential is actually very simple, just two words:
observe
For example, does a child really enjoy observing ants or insects? Is it sometimes possible to reach a state of obsession? if. It shows that the child shows a talent for natural observation very early.
As parents, we can help our child observe more things, take him to museums, safaris, watch archaeological documentaries, explain related picture books for him, and tell him that there are also archaeologists in the world.
For example, the child's personality is very grinning, never like to observe things in detail, but very like body movement, running, jumping and climbing are not a word, at this time it shows that the child's limb - kinesthetic intelligence has certain advantages, you can choose more training opportunities for him in this regard, and better play his potential.
There are also children, neither like to observe, nor do they like sports, but he especially likes to talk to people, children or adults can chat, completely familiar with the state, indicating that he has a strong ability in social aspects, you can take him to participate in group activities, so that his social skills are fully exercised.
Some children may have more than one talent, and at this time, they can choose the child's favorite cultivation. Some children, may have mediocre abilities, at this time do not worry, many adults are in adulthood to find their own interests. At this stage, what parents need to do is to find opportunities for their children to try more new things and find what their children love most as soon as possible.
What criteria can be used in place of scores?
When finding something that children like, in the process of cultivation, parents inevitably want to achieve excellent results or make their children the best in the field.
However, the purpose of potential cultivation is only to give children the opportunity to develop their potential, not to cultivate them as geniuses. Genius, there are very few in this world, they may be able to achieve 10 points, if ordinary people can find their own interests very early, can do 6 points, his life will be very fulfilling.
Therefore, all parents are advised not to use grades as the primary criterion.
True intelligence should be the product and ability to solve problems or create a specific cultural value. The ability to solve problems is to be able to find the right route to a specific goal, and the creation of cultural products requires the ability to acquire knowledge, disseminate knowledge, and express personal views or feelings.
In simple terms, the child can understand who he is, what goals he wants to achieve, and what kind of route he should use to achieve, which has completed the ability to solve problems; in addition, if the child also understands that after acquiring knowledge, spreading it to others, expressing his own views or feelings, he has the ability to create cultural products. To achieve these two points, the child is very good.
Talking about so much, Toot Mom actually wants to say that people's intelligence only has differences, there is no high or low, whether it is early wisdom or late growth, there is no distinction between superior and inferior.
As a parent, the most important thing is to send the child to the future train, help the child understand himself, find himself, and understand where to go, rather than forcing the child to go which way, to let the child choose the path he wants to go.
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