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This article was first published: Baishitong Education
Just saw a video, in a community square in Daqing, Heilongjiang, a father and son are swinging.
At this time, two boys came over and reached out to touch the boy who was swinging, and as the swing swung back and forth, the two boys raised their legs again, and touched the boy who was swinging several times.
The actions of the two boys completely angered the father on the side, rushing up and punching one of the boys, causing the boy to hit the steel pipe of the swing, and then punching the other boy, knocking the boy down in the green belt.
Both boys' ears, eyes and other parts have been injured, and their mother has called the police and is currently waiting for the investigation of the public security organs.
As soon as the news came out, the comment area was full of fathers who supported beating people, saying that it was because the bear children caused trouble first, and the parents did not care about teaching, naturally there would be others to discipline the parents.
However, have we ever thought that the father who hit the person is an adult, the two boys who were beaten are just children, and even if the child makes a big mistake, the adult cannot be so cruel, right?
I agree with these two pertinent comments, when adults face provocative and wrong children, there are actually many ways to solve it, and hitting people is the most undesirable one.
Especially the most important point is that when the father beats two boys, his son is watching from the side, what kind of "demonstration" will this bring to his son?
I have heard a saying: parents are the mirror of children, and children are the shadows of parents.
Parents' words and deeds hide their children's future, and if they want their children to have a bright future, parents must be good parents who conform to the norms.
1
Parents are violent, children may be more violent.
In the video of the above news, hitting people and hitting children is the father's biggest mistake, in fact, he only needs to stop the two boys, after all, the two boys must be afraid of him.
However, judging from the neat actions of his shot, the father thought that only violence could make the two boys no longer close to his son, and he did not know that what he was facing now would be the investigation and treatment of the public security organs.
Even more frightening than this is the idea that there is no problem that violence cannot solve, and even one day, the child's fist will swing at the parents.
Someone once filmed a video of father and son beating each other, the son was originally playing a mobile phone game, because the playing time was too long, the father took away the son's mobile phone.
The son angrily reached out and tore at his father, trying to get the phone back, and after the father couldn't bear it, he pushed his son away, and then punched and kicked his son hard.
This kind of father-son fight scene like an enemy, it is difficult not to doubt that the son dares to beat his father because his father has beaten him like this before.
With the development of human civilization today, we should all understand that violence has never been the right way to solve problems, especially in the process of parents educating their children, and violence should be strictly prohibited.
Social psychologists define "aggressive behavior" as "intentional behavior aimed at causing physical or psychological pain", which can be divided into physical "violence" and "cold violence" in words, emotions, and expressions.
Studies have found that parental violence may be one of the main triggers for children to be extremely aggressive, and children's initial violent and aggressive behaviors mainly come from parents.
I believe that no parent wants to raise a violent child, so parents must first be non-violent, whether it is for their own children or in the face of other people's children.
2
Parental violence brings more harm to children.
The question is: What is the impact of domestic violence on the growth of children?
One of the girls' answers made me feel particularly uncomfortable, and her first words were "My dad beat me from the age of 5 until I went abroad to study at the age of 17." ”
Dad just looked at her unpleasantly, "just use the belt to burst, hang up and beat, hold the hair and beat, step on the foot to beat, the doors and windows are all opened and beaten, so I am embarrassed to cry and beat." ”
Every word reads with blood and tears, living under the violent beatings of her father for a long time, she has wanted to commit suicide since she was a child, the first suicide was when she was 6 years old, and she was relieved by thinking about dying.
Growing up, she has been having nightmares, dreaming of being chased and killed, as well as suspiciousness, lack of confidence, hesitation, anxiety, insomnia, anorexia and other sequelae, which have been growing up with her stumbling.
Although she grew up and went abroad and was far away from her father, the pain of growing up was not completely cured, so she was always confined to the shadow of her childhood, struggling while carrying weights forward.
Even now in her 30s, with her loving husband and a job as a counselor, she still hasn't completely come out of her pain and needs to spend a lifetime healing her heart.
The old patriarchs warned us long ago: Violence is the beginning of evil, and harmony is the foundation of harmony.
Parents punch and punch, kick and kick on the child's body, pain in the child's heart, not only will disintegrate the child's love and dependence on the parents, but also let the child give up on himself prematurely.
Children will think that it is all their fault, so that they constantly deny themselves, emotional and psychological collapse, so that they can no longer grow up normally, more likely to embark on the road of no return.
3
Please be a non-violent parent.
Some time ago, the ex-wife of Li Yang, the founder of "Crazy English", posted a Weibo complaint against Li Yang for beating her own daughter and threatening that her daughter could not tell her mother.
Before this, the ex-wife chose to divorce because of Li Yang's domestic violence, so as soon as the news came out, the whole network boiled.
Subsequently, Li Yang responded on Weibo, admitting that because of the second daughter's absenteeism and night absence, there was a fierce quarrel between father and daughter, but he really did not beat his daughter.
I think Li Yang's words should be credible, no matter how the daughter is also biological, not to mention that violence should never be a method for parents to educate their children.
Only when parents are not violent can they bring a stable and harmonious growth environment to their children.
The first is not to hit the child, which is the bottom line of parents.
In an episode of the variety show "The Boy Who Opened His Heart", the mother of the boy Wang Yuran admitted: "I often beat him. ”
Wang Yuran said: "My mother is like a tigress, when I was 6 years old, they only managed me, I made a mistake and hit it up, and then I took a hanger at the age of 8, a shoe for a 9-year-old, a shoehorn for a 10-year-old, an 11-year-old belt, a stick for 12 years old, and a wolf tooth stick for 13 years old." ”
Wang Yuran, who grew up under his mother's stick, not only did not become more and more obedient according to his parents' wishes, but became more and more rebellious, preferring to be beaten by his parents in order to play with mobile phones, and now his parents have no way to take him.
The Russian writer Leo Tolstoy said that all violence can bring the other side to its knees without struggle, but it cannot make the other side obedient.
Parents should no longer try to conquer their children with violence, not only will it backfire, but also become enemies with their children, either let the children learn to fight violence with violence, or be beaten to the point that they do not want to live anymore.
No matter how big a mistake the child makes, no matter how dissatisfied the parents are with the child, don't throw a fist at the child, this is the bottom line of parenthood.
The second is not to hit others, which is the bottom line of being a person.
Bright said that violence is never a cure.
Dealing with people should be based on peace, and adults who beat people at the first word, especially in front of children, not only damage their own image, but are more likely to pay a heavy price.
In a commercial square in Ningbo, Zhejiang, the girl Yaoyao was playing in the playground, another girl came to grab Yaoyao's toy, and when the two girls were pulling, the girl's mother slapped Yaoyao's arm.
Next, the girl's mother raised her hand to slap YaoYao again, and then pinched Yaoyao's face again, and when the playground staff rushed to stop it, the girl's mother actually reached out and slapped Yaoyao again.
After Yaoyao's mother called the police, the girl's mother was sentenced to ten days of administrative detention and fined 500 yuan, and what is more serious than this is how the girl will view her mother from now on?
Many parents are particularly impulsive when their children have conflicts with other children, but they forget that violence is an illegal act prohibited by laws and regulations.
Write at the end:
We live in today's highly developed modern society, and civilization and reason are our code of conduct, and they are also the basic requirements for us to educate our children.
I hope that our children will be able to grow up happily and happily in the environment of love and freedom created by the family and society!