My father was a very delicate person in the countryside, in our Changde words: living very well.
Basically, the father, who has never done heavy work, always has a different image from the traditional peasant: he usually does not smile, does not talk much, and often quotes the scriptures, of course, many of the classics are not from historical books, most of them are the three kingdoms water margin red chamber or the big and small seven heroes and five righteousness and other book stories.
Father is very Sven, never explodes foul mouth, eats not exquisitely, but chews carefully and swallows slowly. Even if my father is working, he can keep him neatly dressed, dressed properly, with a straight waist and walking with the wind. My father didn't like to get along with outsiders very much, and even relatives basically didn't take the initiative to move around.
After his mother died, the people in his hometown wanted him to go around, and once I specially drove him to Uncle Man's house and told him to stay for a few more days, and the relatives were also very happy, and as a result, they only stayed for two days and let my brother pick him up, on the grounds that he was not used to living.
Father loves to read, never play cards, reading books is an important part of his life, mainly love to read three types of books: history, story interpretation, medicine, his bedside usually put "Zizhi Tongjian", "Zeng Guofan Anthology", "Yellow Emperor's Inner Classics" and so on, almost can not see modern and contemporary books. At the age of 90, he still has a straight waist and legs, and his hair is mainly black hair, he can ride a tricycle and wear needle leads.
Tobacco and alcohol were once his favorites. But then I coughed often, and it was a very bad cough, and at the suggestion of my mother, I forced him to quit smoking, and at first he superficially listened to me and stopped buying cigarettes, but still smoked secretly, mainly delivered by others, and then slowly quit. Wine is his lifeblood, I also think that the old man drinks some wine, can control the amount, it can be, so he has always insisted on drinking, two meals a day, each meal is not more than 2 two, until the day before the stroke, I always feel that his longevity is related to this small drink.
Father has a very rigid personality, solitary, full of arrogance in his bones, soft on the outside and tough on the inside, and he does not have much contact with relatives and friends. He is very serious about doing things, he can't rub sand in his eyes, he doesn't know how to be flexible, and he doesn't understand the art of power, which is one of the reasons why he is always unhappy. The county agricultural bureau repeatedly transferred him to the working group, but he did not know how to manage social relations, was always seconded, and was not able to turn into a regular cadre.
In the work, the father is also a very principled person, which has offended some people, but the father is relatively indifferent to this, believing that the work must have a sense of responsibility and justice, and cannot be perfunctory, especially the audit work is sloppy. But my mother felt that my father was shot, and later, probably I was about to go to high school, and when I seconded my father to participate in this working group, my mother came forward to block and no longer agreed, and at the same time asked my sister to come forward with me to block, just like that, repeatedly, there was no result, and my father was finally a flat-headed people.
My sister was 8 years older than me, and she must have passed the exam in the early 1970s to enter the high school of the county no. 1 Middle School (my sister and I were alumni of the high school), which was a high culture in the countryside at that time. After graduation, as long as I took the initiative to talk to the agricultural director who liked my father, there was still a chance, and as a result, my father was unwilling to ask for help, and finally my sister could only work as an operator on the farm.
After the resumption of the college entrance examination, my sister went online, also participated in the physical examination and political review, and finally failed, and I don't know whether the political review did not pass, or some other reason, and later became a teacher, and finally did not become a regular teacher. The father did not care, in a sense, the father lacked the lesson of human sophistication. The irony is that our brothers and sisters have invariably inherited the character of our father, and they are all people who do not know how to be flexible, which is why we have a relatively lonely and difficult life in our respective lives.
After the death of the mother, the father began to get along with other people more, the elderly of the same generation often gathered in the community, the father is definitely in the C position, everyone likes to listen to him "on the world's major events", the father also feels that "the responsibility is great, the mission is glorious", every night to watch the TV, equivalent to preparing lessons and the like, and then the next day to preach to everyone, immersed in it, happy and harmonious. We also enjoyed my father's old age, old sending, encouraging him to participate in these activities, but often making fun of him about it, and he also felt a sense of accomplishment.
The death of my father is a certain sign. During the Spring Festival, my father told me that I was a little blind and could not read books, but before that, reading books was one of my father's main hobbies, and my hearing had dropped very badly. Qingming went home to worship his ancestors, and my father told me again that the old people in the community walked very fast, and they all walked several times after the Spring Festival. Before, my father didn't say this to me.
He is a typical person who is reluctant to talk about things, in the past, he had three diseases and two pains or bruises and the like, all of which were not stingy, and secretly solved them by himself, he also planted some Chinese herbal plants such as Sanqi Ah to solve general pain and inflammation, and bought the "Yellow Emperor's Inner Classic" to study. I blamed him every time I found out, and he laughed and said: It's okay, I can solve it. Then talk to me about the people he once cured.
Sure enough, not long after Qingming, his father had suffered a stroke, and he could not speak directly, and the night before, he was still walking outside and greeting the neighbors. When my niece-in-law called, I could hardly believe that the whole person was angry, and for a while he didn't know how to deal with it, so he couldn't help but come back to His senses, finished calling the classmates of the county people's hospital, arranged other matters, and rushed home, and his father had entered the intensive care unit.
From the onset of illness to death, less than half a month before and after, fortunately, my wife and I were almost accompanied by him, his brother my uncle also came, I saw my uncle communicate with him, his eyes have been staring, with that kind of reluctant mood, uncle is a very emotional person, I saw him in the hospital and parting with his brother, his eyes were moist.
The marriage between the parents is an arranged marriage, there is no so-called love, but there is a strong family affection. Take the mother's willfulness and domineering, think about it in another way, it is also a kind of attachment and maintenance to the home, the regret and recollection of the lost things, although there has been but no harm, to fight for that breath externally, but also a kind of protection and love for the family. Without these, our mother would not have paid special attention to our growth, and would not be proud of our ability to read.
In a home-based atmosphere, centralization and democratic republics have their own advantages and disadvantages, centralized power can eliminate disputes, and democratic republics can do their own good. Especially after the children have their own families, the two are even more intimate, the father went out, more than an hour did not return, the mother began to be restless, walking back and forth in the yard, the mouth kept chanting: how not to return, how not to return. Sometimes I repeatedly let people go out to watch, but I couldn't help it, so I walked out of the courtyard door by myself and went to the road to greet my father until my father returned.
(Continued)