Text: Reunion of the Heart Moon (Reading History Writer)
Family education determines a child's life. Children are born with "individual differences", if you compare children to a seed, then there are too many factors that affect the growth of seeds. Innate genetic factors cannot be ignored, and the acquired growth environment is also very important. Just as we as parents are not the best compared to others. If we want our children to excel, what should we do as parents?
Throughout the ancient and modern times, there are entire families full of literary heroes, and there are also heroes who are cold. Isn't the "Three Sus" of the Tang and Song Dynasties that we are very familiar with be exactly "one discipline and three literary heroes"?
The father of this "three Sus", Su Xun, the story is very legendary. In the Three Character Sutra, it is recited that "Su Laoquan, twenty-seven, began to be angry, read books." It can be said that Su Xun is a "late bloomer".
Su Xun is very smart, and because of this, he often fights to be smart, and his learning attitude is not serious. He always felt that he was smarter than his peers, how difficult was it to read? The ancients said: "Raising or not teaching, the father's fault." "So, how does Su Xun's father teach his son?"
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Su Xun was born in Meishan, Sichuan, and was not easy to read when he was young, because his father was alive and did not have the burden of supporting his family, so he was a bit like Li Bai and Du Fu's Renxia and Zhuangyou in his adolescence, and traveled a lot of places. Even married, still frolicking all day long. The lady grew up to be a daughter but died before the age of one, Su Xun did not know the sorrow of life and death, still did not start to study, and his father "did not ask".
Su Xun was so cynical, and his father was so calm. We have to admire Su Xun's father's broad-mindedness. Let the children experience the joys and sorrows of life by themselves, Su Xun's father has actually achieved "not teaching is the best teaching". The best education is self-education, and the greatest motivation is based on the internal forces needed for self-realization.
Until the death of his mother, Su Xun took the township test for the first time and unfortunately fell behind. He found hundreds of his old works to read carefully, and could not help but sigh: "The learning I have learned today is the learning that I have not yet learned!" "Su Xun put a fire on fire and burned it all. He re-read the Analects, Mencius, and Han Yu's articles, and studied the poetry books that were passed down to the hundred families of the sons throughout the ancient and modern times. Su Xun read hard behind closed doors and vowed not to write any articles before he was immature. At this time, Su Xun was twenty-seven years old.
Su Xun reflected on himself and realized that "smart is mistaken by smart". It is precisely because of their pride and complacency and empty eyes that they have made no progress in academics. When a person realizes this from the bottom of his heart, he will be ashamed and ashamed, and he will be full of regret.
If Su Xun's father did not give the child space to experience his own feelings, but beat and scolded, or constantly nagged and scolded from childhood to adulthood, what would be the result? If it wasn't for Su Xun's fire, he burned his own old works. But his father did this, so will Su Xun still work hard? In ancient China, fathers were generally very strict in their discipline of their children. Like Su Xun's father, how can we not admire his wisdom?
The road of life, whether it is smooth or bumpy, whether it is warm or cool, needs to be tasted and faced by yourself.
Four years later, Su Xun failed the Beijing exam and went home the next year to study behind closed doors. Su Xun first studied at home and taught Su Shi at the same time.
The ancients said: "On paper, I finally feel shallow, and I never know that this matter must be done." Su Xun once went to Langzhong, Sichuan to visit his brother Su Zhuan, and was quite touched to see that his brother had achieved very good results in governing the local area. Su Xun traveled around the world to study, made learned teachers and friends, and increased a lot of insights and life experience. After five or six years of hard study, Su Xun's knowledge has become complete.
At the age of thirty-six, he left home to study, set off from Meizhou to Jiazhou, toured Mount Emei, and then went down the river from Wuxia gorge in Kuizhou to Jingzhu, preparing to go to Beijing. Madame taught Su Shi at home to read the Biography of Fan Huan.
At the age of thirty-eight to forty-six, Su Xun continued to study at home, studying the gains and losses of ancient and modern chaos, and teaching Su Shi and Su Rui to read. Su Xun traveled many times and befriended the Chengdu official Zhang Ping, who recommended Su Xun to Ouyang Xiu, but without success.
Forty-seven-year-old Su Xun took his second son to Beijing to take the exam and met Ouyang Xiu, a scholar of Hanlin. Ouyang Xiu admired his articles such as "Heng Theory" and "Book of Quan", believing that they were comparable to Liu Xiang and Jia Yi, so he recommended Su Xun to the imperial court.
The brothers Su Shi and Su Rui won the list at the same time. Su Shi was twenty-two years old at the time, and Su Rui was nineteen years old. As a result, "one day the father and son secretly moved the Beijing division, and the Su article was good at the world." Many candidates learn their simple and ancient style.
When Su Zhi's brothers boarded the branch, Su Xun thought that he had failed in the field and sighed: "Mo Dao Dengke is easy, the old man is like ascending to the heavens, Mo Dao Dengke is difficult, and the child is like picking mustard." ”
Su Xun's talent may not be a model for the second son, but his efforts and self-discipline must be the best example for the child.
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I would like to believe that the way to success in Sumen Sanwenhao lies in:
The first is Su Xun's late success, his father's attitude. Su Xun was twenty-four or five years old, "even married, still playing all day, not knowing the sorrow of life and death." The lady grew up to be a daughter but died before the age of one, Su Xun still did not study hard, and her father 'indulged but did not ask'. I think it was Su Xun's father's "indulgence without asking" that led to the later anger from the heart. This power of active learning is very powerful.
The second is that Su Xun, as a father, accompanies his children to read. We can imagine that the scene of Sansu reading at home is warm and touching. If Su Xun goes out to study, the mother will accompany the child to read, and reading such a celebrity biography as "Fan Huan Biography" is a very good moral education. As long as Su Xun returns home, he will accompany his children to read. The impact of the family environment on people is too important. Whether it is the depth and breadth of knowledge, or the poetry and articles, Su Xun's influence on the Su Shi brothers is huge.
Su Xun guided the children to read, but also broke the mind. Legend has it that the brothers Su Shi and Su Rui were very naughty when they were young, did not want to study, and coveted fun. Su Xun often educated them, moved with affection and understood reason. However, this kind of gentle persuasion education had little effect, but despite this, Su Xun did not use "stick" education. Instead, from the child's curiosity and strong desire to learn, actively guide and induce them to get started.
According to records, whenever the children play, Su Xun hides in a corner where they can see and read a book. Concentrate and shine. When the children gathered around, he "hid" the books he had read. The children discovered the "strange phenomenon" of their father and thought that his father was reading some good book. When my father was not at home, he "stole" the book and read it carefully. Slowly, they made reading a pleasure. Naturally, the Su Shi brothers sailed into the track of becoming talents.
We will find that although the Su Shi brothers' own talents are very important, at the same time, the father's induction and reading have a non-negligible impact. Of course, even if we learn Su Xun's godson method, we may not necessarily be "a three-man hero". But what is certain is that if we pay time, energy, mind guidance and accompany children like Su Xun, there will undoubtedly be a way for children to fall in love with reading. This alone is a precious gift for children. Reading will bring children to a broad world.
The third is that Su Xun "reads ten thousand books and travels thousands of miles." Perhaps it is precisely because he has traveled many times to expand his knowledge and knowledge that his articles are full of witty words, rich in content, profound in thought, and majestic in writing.
Modern families, if they can lead their children to "read thousands of books", then "walking thousands of miles" is not difficult. However, "only love to play, do not love to read" is a big problem. How many parents lament that children do not love to read.
In family education, the influence of parents' words and deeds cannot be underestimated. If Su Xun is self-educated, then Su Xun's godson is a guide, companion and example. In family education, if we can give children free space, and can lead and accompany children, then our education is good.
Education is something that goes deep into the soul, is a spiritual root and a stain. The role of parents should be that of a leader. If you want your child to go, you should ask yourself to go farther; if you want your child to climb as high as you want your child to climb, you should ask yourself to climb higher!
"One discipline of three literary heroes" can be said to be a miracle, rare in history. However, "Sumen education" is worth learning. Traditional Chinese education, "first teach to be a person, then teach to ask". In the Analects of Learning, "Disciples who enter are filial piety, who are compassionate when they go out, who are sincere and faithful, who love the masses, and who are kind and have spare strength, are learned by literature." It explains some of the etiquette and norms that "disciples" should have at home, outside, treating people and things, dealing with people, and studying. Whether it is Su Xun's self-education or his godson's way, it is inseparable from the influence of these classic cultures. Readers do not just read the "Four Books and Five Classics", but read them repeatedly, read them well into recitations, and export them into chapters and write them into texts. How profound is the formation of personality from childhood when you start reading and studying it all your life?
China has been educated for thousands of years, self-cultivation, family unity, governance of the country, and peace in the world. In family education, personality education comes first, and then does learning. Unlike the current education in families and schools, and even the educational concept of the whole society, there is no education for the cultivation of basic personality specifically for the sake of career and for the sake of making money.
The famous master of traditional Chinese studies, Nan Huaijin, once sighed:
In the middle of the last seven or eight years, I have brought young classmates and desperately promoted children's reading. Society misunderstood my meaning, saying that I promoted children's Bible reading as if advocating retro. But what I advocate is "Chinese, English, and Arithmetic" together, including the Four Books and Five Classics, especially the classics before the Tang and Song Dynasties, to read, memorize, and write silently, as well as English classics, and to practice abacus mental arithmetic (after abacus is familiar, there is an abacus in the heart to do mental arithmetic very quickly).
This is the education of literature, the education of martial arts, the education of art, and the education of integrated personality cultivation. It seems that there is a lot of content, and the actual arrangement is very scientific and efficient. The children cultivated in this way can develop their wisdom, can read, have a healthy physique, know how to behave, will understand the traditional culture of the East and the West, and can talk about creating the future.
I appreciate the education advocated by Nan Huaijin: chinese classics, English classics, abacus, sports, art and other aspects of education. If our children can receive such an education, then it is really a combination of East and West, opening wisdom, and strengthening the brain.