After the 11-year-old boy was scolded by the teacher, he jumped to his death! Is it the responsibility of parents or teachers?

On November 9, 2021, Zhang, an 11-year-old boy from Jiujiang, Jiangxi Province, committed suicide by jumping off a building in the community after school. He left a suicide note, saying that his jumping off the building had nothing to do with his parents, society and the country, but only with the head teacher Zou, "she used violent means."

Filled with grief and indignation, Zhang's parents filed a private criminal prosecution and requested that the head teacher Zou be convicted of insult and abuse of the caretaker, and that he be investigated for criminal responsibility.

The case began in the first instance on April 28 this year, and the verdict was finally pronounced on August 9. The local court held that the teacher involved did not constitute the crime of insult or abuse of the caretaker, and acquitted Zou. However, Zhang's father appealed in court.

Zhang's father once checked the classroom monitoring and found that the head teacher Zou abused the child eight times on the day of the incident, accusing Zhang of not completing his homework, "calling him a liar, a debt king, eating a book, being poor at home, etc., and pinching (the child's) face to stand up, let everyone testify, and guide the students in the class to laugh at him." ”

Judging from the video leaked on the Internet, the head teacher Zou also scolded Zhang for "your brain is stupid" and "you have no face and no skin".

Zhang's father believes that Zou should be punished by the law, and hopes that this incident can serve as a warning to "simple and rude" teachers so that campus safety can be guaranteed.

Netizens quarreled over this incident. Some netizens supported Zhang's father, believing that the teacher involved must be held responsible. Another part of netizens supported the judge's decision, "If the student's accident is the responsibility of the teacher, then who dares to be a teacher?" ”

Regardless of the outcome of the subsequent second trial, Zhang's life will remain at the age of 11 forever. Many netizens felt incomprehensible to Zhang jumping off the building, "When we were in school, the teacher was also scolded by the teacher, why are the current students speechless?" ”

Yes, why do children seem to be particularly vulnerable today? Can't stand criticism in particular?

In this incident, although Zou is now found not guilty, is she responsible? The parents of the boy Zhang blindly blame the teacher, do they have the responsibility to educate?

After such a tragedy, what lessons should parents and teachers learn?

The following interpretation from the perspective of precision psychology, hoping to help you see the truth behind the tragedy and enlighten.

01. The boy committed suicide after being scolded by the teacher, and his parents also had a lot of responsibility

Many students have also been criticized, accused, and even verbally and physically punished by teachers on campus, of course, they will be sad, angry, and even feel ashamed, but they will not commit suicide by jumping off a building like Zhang.

Zhang's extreme behavior was not impulsive, but he had suffered a lot of superimposed psychological trauma before this, and Zou's verbal violence on the day of the incident was only the last straw that crushed the camel.

And some of the superimposed psychological trauma he suffered before must have come from the original family, especially the improper family education of his parents.

Many children have been scolded and wronged at school, and when they go home, they will definitely complain to their parents and support themselves. But Zhang returned to the community where his home was located, and he was unwilling to talk to his parents, but chose to climb the tall building and jump down.

This is enough to show that Zhang's parent-child relationship with his parents is bad. Zhang's parents did not really enter the child's inner world and did not establish an effective communication method with the child. It is possible that Zhang had complained to his parents about school before, but his parents did not take it seriously at all, and may even criticize him, so he was no longer willing to ask his parents for help.

According to our in-depth psychological intervention experience, Zhang's parents' education may be relatively simple and rude, fail to fully respect and understand their children, and may even quarrel at home many times. This led to Zhang's loneliness and low self-esteem since childhood, and a sensitive and suspicious paranoid personality. Even if the teacher scolds him, his starting point may be good (of course, is Zou's starting point really to educate students, or is it for some other purpose?). More on that below), he is also easy to interpret from a negative point of view, angry with the teacher.

And because Zhang's parent-child relationship with his parents is not good, the family cannot meet his emotional demands, so he is easy to turn to the outside world, hoping to be recognized by his peers, very concerned about others' eyes and evaluations of him, and may even have a flattering personality. Zou guided the students in the class to laugh at him on the day of the incident, which probably caused him a great psychological blow.

Therefore, Zhang's parents blamed the teacher for their child's suicide, which is irrational. If a child is mentally mentally healthy, he will not jump off the building in anger because he was scolded by the teacher 8 times in one day and ridiculed by his classmates.

Zhang's parents should reflect on what their children have experienced before this, especially what kind of family education they received in their native family from childhood to adulthood, what is the relationship between the child and their own parent-child, and why the child would rather die than ask his parents for help?! Why are other children also scolded by teachers, but their own children choose to jump off the building?

From this point of view, although Zhang said that his death had nothing to do with his parents, in fact, his parents had a lot of educational responsibilities.

02. The teacher involved used verbal violence and had serious teacher ethics problems

Some netizens have a more rational and neutral attitude towards this matter, they feel that in law, the head teacher Zou may indeed be not guilty, but she must be responsible. Although the teacher cannot be blamed for all the problems, there is also a problem with the way this teacher is educated.

From the perspective of precision psychology, Zhang actually has obvious learning disabilities. He did not write homework many times, could not answer the teacher's questions in class, and took leave many times to avoid studying, many people think that this is a poor attitude towards learning, but behind this is actually the problem of learning disabilities.

Adolescents and children with learning disabilities have suffered superimposed psychological trauma related to learning behaviors and learning situations, causing them to feel irritable and difficult to concentrate as soon as they study. Knowledge that is easy for others to grasp is more difficult for them, which further leads them to feel that learning is not interesting and difficult, and they lose interest and motivation to learn, so they are manifested as poor learning attitude and tired of learning.

But Zou's educational knowledge and educational philosophy are very traditional, she does not understand the relevant knowledge of learning disabilities, and even does not master the basic psychological laws of adolescents and children, she believes that Zhang is a problem of learning attitude, and verbal violence is used against Zhang.

Zhang hated her to the bone, which showed that it was not the first time that Zou had insulted him like this, and it must have happened many times before. Zou has long caused superimposed psychological trauma to Zhang, and as a class teacher, she should pay attention to the mental and physical state of the students, but she is unaware of it

Zhang's father also said that Zou had no remorse and believed that he had not insulted the students, but had adopted a more "humorous" expression. If what he said is true, then Zou is likely to be a person with personality disorders and seriously lacks self-reflection awareness and ability.

Therefore, whether Zou's actions are legally a crime is a legal issue, and it is difficult for me to comment on this.

However, from the perspective of precision psychology, as a people's teacher, she cannot identify whether students have learning disabilities, nor can she identify students' psychological problems, but has repeatedly abused and physically punished students, causing great psychological harm to students, and she must be responsible. It can even be said that she is not a qualified teacher of the people.

Many teachers do not realize that if verbal violence is used against students, this may cause superimposed psychological trauma to students, and even become one of the psychological causes of mental and psychological disorders such as depression and bipolar disorder.

Little Peach, who has received our in-depth psychological intervention, is beautiful and many boys like her. When she was in middle school, two boys at school fought over her. As a result, even her head teacher knew about the incident, and the class teacher also put the responsibility on Little Peach.

The class teacher called Peach's mother, loudly criticized her mother in the grade hallway, and said that Peach seduced men, like a little prostitute, and the whole class, including Peach, heard it, which caused great psychological damage to Peach.

These teachers who use verbal violence against students may really start from educating students, but they are more likely to do so for the purpose of venting anger and humiliation. If it is the latter, it is not only a problem of improper methods and lack of scientific knowledge, but a serious problem of teacher ethics, and such teachers are even likely to have paranoid personality disorder.

Therefore, I agree with Zhang's father's request to appeal, which is a legal right as a father. Regardless of the final outcome of this matter, this is conducive to warning the vast number of people's teachers - whether for the sake of students or their own careers, people's teachers must understand the psychological characteristics of the student group, and must not use violence, whether verbal violence or physical violence, when educating students.

03. Parents should learn from the tragedy and know how to raise children scientifically

Zhang's tragedy is irreparable, but the living should learn from it and carry out deep self-reflection, change and improvement.

I hope that Zhang's parents can realize their shortcomings in family education, and they have inadvertently caused a lot of superimposed psychological trauma to their children. Although legally, I agree that they continue to pursue Zou's responsibility, they themselves must also reflect, and also realize that the child's suicide has a lot to do with the original family, and do not shift all the responsibility to others.

If they can still make up their minds, summarize the lessons learned in family education, and share them with the public, they can also inspire more parents, help others to make fewer detours when educating their children, and reduce the occurrence of tragedies.

Many parents think that giving birth to a child and raising them is already fulfilling their parental responsibilities. But the most important responsibility of parents is to "teach". Children are physically healthy and materially rich, but they also need mental and psychological health, need to complete good socialization, need to have independent personality and life ability, be able to withstand setbacks and difficulties in life, and realize the value of life.

Although some parents know to raise children scientifically, they will learn how to better educate their children on the Internet. However, parents should know that many so-called "parenting bloggers" have family education concepts that are not necessarily correct or scientific.

For example, the once popular parenting blogger "Yide his father" in Guangzhou, he once because of his unique family education method, his son Zhang Yide's academic excellence is very good, appears sunny and independent, and is respected by many parents.

However, Zhang Yide suffered from depression and committed suicide abroad, which shows that "Yide his father" did not really enter the child's heart and establish a truly close parent-child relationship with his son.

Therefore, the truly worth learning and scientific family education knowledge should be able to penetrate into people's implicit memory, deeply understand the knowledge of adolescents and children's psychological activities, and summarize the adult talent law on this basis.

04. In the era of artificial intelligence, society has higher requirements for teachers

In this tragedy, the head teacher Zou also needs self-reflection, change and improvement.

Whatever the purpose of her actions, she should reflect. Zhang has a serious learning disability and often fails to complete his homework, and I believe that many teachers have criticized him. But why did Zhang not hate anyone in his suicide note, but only hated her?

Why did she resort to verbal violence when she was disappointed and angry with her students, rather than other more scientific methods of education? Has she herself suffered a lot of superimposed psychological trauma and vented negative emotions on her students?

Why does she have serious teacher moral problems, does she usually lack the sense of self-reflection, and has abnormal personality problems? Also, Zou is not a young teacher, in her career, Zhang is certainly not the first student to be abused by her, why didn't something happen before, but now it happened? Has she kept pace with the times, aware of the great changes of the times, and the psychological characteristics of this generation of children?

Now, Zou has been demoted and transferred to the library due to serious teacher ethics problems. Whether she feels regret or guilt, Zhang's suicide has caused a lot of blows to her career, and it cannot be ruled out that she will be psychologically traumatized and even have emotional disorders.

I thought of another campus tragedy. In September 2020, Zhang Mourui, a 14-year-old junior high school boy in Wuhan, invited his parents to school because he was playing cards with his classmates in the classroom.

Zhang Mourui's mother was very angry when she arrived at the school, and slapped her son hard in front of her classmates in the school corridor and pushed his head hard. The teacher stepped forward to dissuade her, and she left. Subsequently, Zhang Mourui jumped from the teaching building and committed suicide.

Later, Zhang Mourui's mother fell into self-blame and self-guilt, unable to get out of the psychological shadow of the child's death, and eventually committed suicide.

There are also relevant reports that Zhang's head teacher suffers from depression. We once wrote an analysis that Zhang Mourui's head teacher probably suffered from not depression, but post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but due to a long-term failure to receive effective intervention, he suffered a secondary depressive episode.

In this tragedy, Zhang Mourui's mother slapped her son, which was the last straw that crushed Zhang Mourui. But Zhang's homeroom teacher called Zhang's mother to school, which was one of the triggers.

Although in terms of teaching rules and regulations, she found that her students frequently violated the rules, and called parents to the school to communicate, hoping to help their children correct, which is not wrong. But she probably did not realize that Zhang Mourui had a serious learning disability, let alone that there were also big problems in his family system, and rashly calling his mother to school was very likely to intensify the conflict.

Some people may think that Director He, like you said, now to be a teacher, you must not only teach knowledge, but also understand the spiritual psychology of students; It is too difficult to be aware of the child's psychological changes, give the child psychological support, and even deal with the student's family conflicts.

Indeed, in the current era, especially the era of artificial intelligence, society's requirements for teachers have greatly increased.

Those teachers who can only impart knowledge are easily replaced by AI, which also prompts teachers to no longer stop at imparting knowledge, but also need to understand interdisciplinarity, learn to integrate knowledge from multiple disciplines, especially master the knowledge of learning disabilities; If you do better, you must also master the knowledge of precision psychology.

Such teachers can quickly identify students' learning disabilities and help students recreate positive and productive learning. Teachers who master accurate psychology knowledge can also see the hidden family system problems behind the students' learning status, and can communicate with students' parents in time to help them improve family relationships, and even improve the entire family system.

Such teachers are no longer simple teachers, but "knowledge education + efficient learning + efficient psychological counseling" compound talents, no matter where they are, such teachers will be very popular, stand out, deeply appreciated by students and parents, and gain a great sense of achievement.

Even if many teachers are still unable to meet the above social needs, they must at least learn to be cautious in their words and deeds, and stop casually sarcasm, sarcasm and other verbal violence against students, so as to avoid inadvertently becoming the last straw that crushes the camel, and eventually "harm" others and harm themselves.

Some netizens also wondered: We were often beaten and scolded by teachers when we were young, didn't we come over too? We are even grateful for the teacher's scolding, otherwise we would not have achieved our current career achievements, and students who are not educated in school will be educated by society in the future!

Indeed, most people are scolded by teachers and do not think of suicide. Although some people grow up and do not appreciate the teacher, they still hate the teacher, but they will not have extreme behavior, but choose to live their own lives.

But the choices of most people do not represent individual decisions. Children like Zhang are "fragile" and "poor in pressure resistance" on the surface, but there are many factors behind this.

On the one hand, there are the factors of the native family mentioned above. Some people suffer less psychological trauma from their native family during the process of growing up, and the overall family atmosphere is warm, and their parents give them a lot of warmth and understanding. Although they were beaten and scolded by teachers at school, they generally had less superimposed psychological trauma and were able to pass the school stage relatively smoothly.

On the other hand, consider the factors of the times. Many netizens who think that today's children are "fragile" are the post-70s and post-80s, and in the era when they grew up, most of the students at that time were beaten and scolded by teachers. When most of the people in a group have experienced such things, it is easy for individuals to rationalize the thing.

Moreover, the information in those days was relatively closed, and the information that children were exposed to mainly came from parents and teachers, who repeatedly told them that teachers and parents beat them for pain, scolding and love, and murdered them for their own good and in order to educate them into talents. In that environment, they are easy to accept this view, so it is not easy to form superimposed psychological trauma.

But now children grow up in the Internet era, do not have the trouble of not having enough to eat, wear and warm, are exposed to a wide range of information, their self-awareness is very strong, and the need to be respected and understood is also very strong.

They no longer regard the teacher as an authority, and once the teacher scolds them, they are prone to strong negative emotions, feel dissatisfied with the teacher, and think that the teacher does not respect them. Moreover, it is true that some teachers scold students not for educational purposes, but out of anger and humiliation, which is naturally more difficult for students to accept.

Teachers who maliciously humiliate students often have personality disorders, and they are prone to verbal abuse and excessive corporal punishment to students, causing great psychological harm to students. Moreover, mainstream psychiatry and general counselling/psychotherapy are difficult to effectively treat personality disorders and have little effect; There are few resources for effective in-depth clinical psychological interventions.

Therefore, I have repeatedly called for psychological examinations for teachers, and teachers with personality disorders should withdraw from the ranks of teachers.

Finally, I would like to give a piece of advice to teenagers who are still in school:

If we fail to meet our ideal parents, we should turn pressure into motivation, and only after working hard can we grasp the initiative in life and freely choose how to get along with our parents.

If we are unfortunate enough to encounter teachers who are not ethical, we can consciously reduce their influence on us. Such teachers are just passers-by at a certain stage of our lives, we must try to move forward, do not stop for them, and do not consume ourselves too much for such people.

When we achieve economic, personality, and ideological independence through struggle, we will truly feel the happiness of "the light boat has crossed ten thousand mountains".