Misogyny is the enlightenment book of many people about feminism, so the author Chizuko Ueno means a lot to women who have awakened to a certain extent, and it is really a spiritual teacher-like existence.
The related "Enlightenment Book" also has a "Second Sex", but in comparison, "Misogyny" is obviously easier to read, thinner and more examples (Han Xing and Lee Byung-heon are "registered"), and readers are more able to see their own situation in light of reality.
So it is not difficult to understand that the public has high expectations for this dialogue.
At the same time, there is another layer of psychological expectations that have been raised, that is, Peking University graduates.
Blogger Quan Xixi and two other girls are alumni and girlfriends who graduated from Peking University, and they also used the scene setting of the women's dormitory chat meeting when shooting the video. Previously, she had also been taking "Peking University graduate" as her blockbuster label, taking the Kochi elite route.
Then the public will naturally give them what they should expect from the Kochi elite: Ideological consciousness is high, and leadership is required, right?
The two major expectations are there, which itself booked the controversial nature of this dialogue, who would have thought that the three of them also came to a "extraordinary performance", which attracted a lot of disappointment and disgust from hot comments:
"Peking University, that's it?"
"Refusing to be represented, I hope Chizuko Ueno doesn't think other Chinese women are the same."
"It's a pity, a chance for dialogue was wasted."
……
Is it wrong? Not at all.
Let's just say that in less than 30 minutes of video, there are not many shocking sparks, and a magical reality is vividly interpreted.
The "professional perspective" of senior media professionals
After this black and red, Quan Xixi's personal resume was also picked up, not only graduated from Peking University, but also a holder of a successful marriage, a mother with a two-year-old child, but also the vice president of Xinshi Xiang, and a senior media person with an annual salary of millions.
You want to see a collision of hearts, but for her, this is first and foremost a job where practice makes perfect, and she will inevitably use some of the usual topic selection ideas and interview techniques of new media practitioners.
So I don't feel that every sentence and every opinion in the video is completely sincere.
First of all, there are two major elements that cannot be avoided by new media content - audience targeting and topicality. As a blogger, it is not enough to say that you are happy, you must say what the audience wants to hear, keep up with current events, and make the majority of fans and friends feel that this person is standing with us.
I roughly flipped through her previous content, which is the school district room, the way of the husband, and the doctor of medicine of Peking University and the formulator of Tsinghua graduate... It can be roughly concluded that married mothers with a bachelor's degree or above and a middle-class living standard or above are a very important target audience.
Therefore, she is not necessarily weak or stupid, but with the consciousness of media people, she chooses to stand with fans and ask questions that fans and potential audiences may care about, so as to enhance the click rate and fan stickiness, and stabilize her personality by the way.
This is probably the reason why she has always emphasized her married status, including the choice to enter marriage under the pressure of public opinion, the way to operate a six-year marriage, and whether the married person is a feminist at the bottom of the contempt chain... And so on and so forth.
On the other hand, packaging yourself as a character representing ordinary people is a common interview technique.
You can look at Dou Wentao, look at Lu Yu, they also often "play the fool", especially the famous scene where Lu Yu asks the poor child "Don't eat meat because meat is not delicious", of course she knows that it is not because the meat is not delicious, what she wants is the child's reaction after this sentence, the facts he may say or some emotions expressed can make the interview more interesting and topical.
It is this reason, you all seem to be knowledgeable and transparent, affectionate and compassionate, won't the space for the other party to talk about each other be squeezed out?
Above, from the position and skills, we can see that this dialogue is "reasonable among unreasonable".
However, the position also depends on how to express it, and the skill also depends on how to use it, and when this "reasonable" itself is not pleasant, no matter how limited the personal morality is, the result will inevitably be surprised.
"Married feminists" who want and want
What was widely criticized in this operation was Quan Xihee's "seeking recognition" throughout the dialogue:
Although I got married for various reasons, I also managed the marriage very well, the children were only wanted after four years of getting along instead of impulsive, and I also had my own set of dealing with the relationship between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, all of which showed my good wisdom and consciousness, and also showed very feminism, so teacher, praise me quickly!
Forehead...... Obsessively seeking recognition not only exposes his weakness, but also leaves both sides unflattering.
On the one hand, married people will feel that this person is too pretentious, the path they choose will feel their own feelings, there are problems to describe the problem, get the results to share the results, why must others seal and certify?
On the other hand, unmarried people will think that she is pretentious and unkind.
No matter how correct feminism is in online public opinion and academia, it cannot change the fact that marriage is still the mainstream.
When a person reaches a certain age, the voice of urging marriage will still be endless, older singles, especially single women, will still be subject to implicit discrimination, as a leader on the mainstream road, you are aggrieved, mainly because of the misunderstanding of netizens... Aggrieved der?
If you want to express your difficulty and strength, you can, such as childcare, what job opportunities are lost, changes in the couple's relationship after childbirth... This confusion, which is rooted in the dirt of life, is more conducive to resonance.
But you didn't say ah, or because you are rich enough, social resources are rich enough, and you have enough voice at home to not be confused in this regard?
In addition, she also talked about the fact that she had been hurt by men on blind dates, and she was afraid that she would be stressed if she couldn't get married and return to her hometown, which of course presented a certain reality, but to be honest, there was no human arc.
Are you frequently hurt and insist on blind dates, which means that the goal of successful marriage itself is much more important than your personal feelings, right?
Afraid of being pressured by public opinion in your hometown because you are older and unmarried, and then forced to enter the marriage under pressure, without a little courage to go against the current, and then have to die to prove the correctness of your choice, then I doubt that you will cover up and rationalize some of the unbearable problems and problems in your marriage in order to achieve this goal.
Ueno-sensei hopes that everyone will not fool themselves, then I think that Quan Hee Hee is a negative teaching material to some extent.
In summary, as an elite media person, Quan Xixi underestimated the overall level of public awareness of feminism.
Many married people are more honest and self-consistent than she imagined, one of the most significant signs: the mothers of the 50s and 60s will be full of strength to urge the next generation to get married even if their marriage is unfortunate, and the soul soup poured into them has penetrated into the bone marrow, but the married people and mothers of the 80/90s will not whitewash their marriage like the previous generation, let alone roar and pull others into the water, which stems from their frankness and sobriety about their personal circumstances.
Occasionally will spit on her husband and children, occasionally will send envy and blessings to singles, get married and live well, really can't live we will leave, ask for what outside recognition, after all, the life is their own, don't have a little red flower on the chest, can you send money or work?
And singles as a "minority" is also gradually growing, the prying and scrutiny on them is already a bit out of place, understanding and acceptance is the priority, what "decided not to marry in the early 20s because of being hurt by men" This kind of question is really narrow and unfriendly.
Of course, this can be an interview technique, but a 30+ married woman asking a 75-year-old unmarried and childless woman this question is inevitably a little estranged and cool, and the sense of alienation that comes out of the question is not conducive to enhancing the other party's desire to express, and then promoting the improvement of the interview effect.
In addition, in response to Quan Xixi's own "seeking recognition" style, I believe that it is a true portrayal of many Kochi elites who climb up step by step by their own efforts, some absurd and some sad.
First went to Peking University, out of society and an annual salary of millions, and a seemingly harmonious and happy marriage, but also an influential up master, the road she took is already the mainstream of the mainstream, the correct of the correct, she is already a 24K pure successful person in the traditional value system, but still not satisfied, still very anxious, it seems that it is necessary to obtain a recognition and praise from the authoritative experts of the avant-garde trend of thought to be at ease.
Big sister, are you tired?
If success means deeper scarcity and endless fatigue, then not being successful enough is a blessing.
"Problem makers" who overemphasize personal efforts
Quan Xixi has a sentence in the video that impressed me: my parents' unhappy marriage was caused by their personal reasons, and I later made my marriage very happy through my own efforts.
You see, this is a misunderstanding that self-proof and praise tend to bring parties into - personal efforts can break through everything.
This is clearly inconsistent and overemphasis on individual effort ignores the powerful constraints created by structure and environment.
Why do children in poor mountainous areas have a low probability of being admitted to university and a high dropout rate?
Why did the smart and capable Tanchun in "Dream of Red Mansions" fail to become a senior management talent of a listed company and eventually marry away as a woman?
Instead of spinning around on individual talent and effort, it is better to look at the land under his feet and the surrounding wet and dry conditions, after all, even the best seedlings have to die in saline-alkali soil, don't they?
You can run your marriage well, on the one hand, because you are very capable, but is there another possibility, in comparison, the plate you itself is not very bad?
So if someone is not smart enough and lucky enough, she can't get it, can she have other options? For example, asking for help or getting divorced.
This is the methodology of feminist topics.
No matter how strong and good a person is, he does not dare to guarantee that he will always have a smooth wind and a proud spring breeze in his life, and in case of falling one day and hitting a wall, what kind of lower limit and way back will this society provide him is the key to highlighting social progress and civilization.
How powerful can a person be? Sun Wukong has to join the team to work honestly, and the power of the structure is really powerful.
I think the most moving part of the whole video is about the mother-daughter relationship, as if mentioning mothers always makes all women have mixed feelings.
So please think about it, why are there so many love-hate entanglements, misunderstandings and regrets between mother and daughter? Why is a mother the most difficult obstacle for a daughter to get through?
The answer is simple, because the mother is also a woman, from the original family to marriage, from being a daughter and a wife to being a mother, she is squeezed, exploited and restricted very, very much, very, very big, the older the woman, the more so.
She can't digest it herself, so all the resentment, fear, and cowardice will spread to the people around her and naturally flow to the next generation.
Friends, the oppression and harm given to individuals by the outside world will be passed down from generation to generation, and this is not something that you can easily change and resolve by personal efforts.
Of course, individual heroism will usher in a moment of complacency and envy, but the drawbacks are also very obvious, it will push people into the corner of self-criticism and self-promotion, and the road will become narrower and narrower, until exhaustion and internal exhaustion.
In essence, individual heroism is a disguised manifestation of a lack of trust in the environment, and it is also the most likely self-defense to put structural problems aside.
Life is not an exam, just burying one's head in the questions may not usher in a bright future, changing the examination room, cooperating with the classmates next to you or raising a bug in the test paper to the teacher can also become an option to happiness.
High education does not necessarily mean high awakening
In short, this is a conversation for higher education to dispel the charm.
In addition to surprise and disappointment, perhaps we should wake up to the fact that the level of education is not necessarily proportional to the degree of ideological consciousness, especially in feminism.
Conversely, the barrier between an elite woman in Kochi and a feminist deepens.
On the one hand, as vested interests, they definitely have more choices than losers and women at the bottom, and they lack the motivation and pressure to fight for more choices.
On the other hand, in order to climb the ladder or maintain their existing social status, they tend to be conservative because of more concerns, and they are more likely to cater than to resist.
After all, it is still a patriarchal society, and the overall operating rules behind it are biased towards men, and the more you go up, the more men are those who hold lifeline resources. As soon as the interests are related, it is difficult for the parties concerned to be dashing, but they are prone to gain and loss, for fear of accidentally falling, the shiny shell is not there, and return to the pre-liberation overnight.
So what kind of person is prone to feminism?
First of all, she does not need to be very successful, as the saying goes, the barefoot is not afraid to wear shoes, and the heart is light without any obstacles. The old lady does not need to rely on anyone or from whom to benefit, and what is the big truth that is difficult to say, what resistance is embarrassed to do?
In addition, she must clearly feel the obstacles and pains brought by the patriarchal society.
A woman, precisely because she wants to relieve pain and answer confusion, can understand feminism, can read the words of "misogyny" and "second sex" to her heart, and can have a deeper connection with senior scholars such as Chizuko Ueno, so she does not want these shackles to trouble more people.
Only in this way can the meaning of feminism be vividly reflected in them.
Those books and statements carved an exit for her once reached a dead end, and provided a safety net for her who had been falling non-stop. It is precisely because those hidden restrictions and pains are seen that they have the possibility to stop internal friction, bounce back, and start again.
Therefore, I agree with the suggestions of some netizens - it is better to find Sun Yining and Liu Xiaoxian to talk to Ye Qianhezi, maybe it will be easier to spark.
Speaking of this, I can't help but feel a trace of sadness, our usual feminists, with sensitive nerves, the courage to rebel, but also the color of pathos.
Perhaps it is because the shackles and barriers are clearly felt, which make people feel desperate and helpless, they have existed for many years, are deep-rooted, and difficult to shake. If you want to fight for a way out, you often have to take risks and lose your life.
Think about those classic film and television works with feminist themes, what "The Last Flower", "Deadly Woman", it seems that only the fish dead net can be exchanged for a ray of life. There is also "My Genius Girlfriend", obviously both girls are so good, in the end, they can only go out of one, and they stumble so much.
These are all vivid metaphors for reality.
Trailblazers are often not the first beneficiaries, and they need to take huge risks and pay a high price. While the years are quiet, while deviant, while being a mainstream benchmark, and wanting the title of avant-garde, it is just a fool's dream, which can only exist in advertising videos and the self-introduction of big bloggers.
Refined egoists, the term has been overused, and we always criticize it because of the expectation that the resources in their hands will be used in a more idealized way.
But it should also be seen that this group gives some positive revelation - perhaps this just means that the weeds in the lower places are more vibrant.
Advancing feminism is a gradual affair, and not everyone has the opportunity to talk to Chizuko No, but everyone has the potential to contribute to this slow-moving change in their own lives.
![Women's Variety Show: A conversation that confronts the gender dilemma[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)