The child is reluctant to go to the kindergarten, asking the reason, but can't ask why?
A friend of Guo Ma's was particularly distressed for a while. She has a 4-year-old daughter who cried for a few days when she first started kindergarten, and since then, she has always liked kindergarten. But the second semester was only half a month old, and my daughter did not want to go to kindergarten.
Ask the child why, always can't ask why.
Until one time, a friend went to the kindergarten about half an hour early, saw the children playing on the playground, and then noticed that a little boy was fiercely saying something to his daughter, and the daughter stood with her head down, and there were several other children standing around.
At this time, the teacher came, and the children scattered.
Friends think that this may be the problem. When I was out of school, after asking the teacher, I learned that this little boy had just transferred this semester and was very naughty.
When asked whether the little boy bullied his daughter, the teacher said: Children will inevitably have these behaviors, and the teacher will try to coordinate and not let the little boy hurt other children.
Subtext: The child is not injured, don't make a fuss.
It's just: children are not only injured and beaten, they are bullying, there is also a kind of bullying, called "invisible bullying".
01 In the world of kindergarten, there are also "invisible bullying"
"Invisible bullying" is sometimes really very invisible, invisible to parents will not care, and children do not know that this is a kind of bullying, so they will not ask parents and teachers for help.
This kind of bullying is also very common in the "simple" world of kindergartens.
"The Secret Life of a Child" is a documentary that records the real life of 10 4-5 year old children in kindergarten. In addition to recording their lives such as eating and studying, they also found bullying incidents of children.
There was a boy named Xiao Shuo, reaching out to "tickle" Xiao Man's neck, and such an act, Xiao Man was unwilling, she had been dodging, full of unhappiness, but did not dare to refuse, did not dare to resist.
After a while, Xiao Shuo changed another object to continue bullying, he pointed at the girl Xiaonuo's nose and mocked: "Onmino's face is really ugly!" The little girl cried, and Xiao Shuo continued to accuse: "Crying and crying, you know to cry, shame!" ”
The same boy, but in a moment, bullied the two girls.
The first is behavioral bullying, tickling, and the second is verbal bullying, ridicule, accusation.
And "behavioral bullying" and "verbal bullying" are also two kinds of "invisible bullying" that are very common in kindergartens. These two ways of bullying will not cause visible harm to the child, but the child who is bullied is hurt inside.
02 In the face of "invisible bullying", how do teachers deal with it?
The ideal kindergarten teacher will correct all kinds of bad behavior of children, including this invisible bullying, and it is undeniable that there are such responsible kindergarten teachers.
But in fact, many kindergarten teachers do not care so much about the psychology of children. Too many children, busy work, let them gradually lower the standard of education, basically, as long as the children do not have visible injuries, they will not care.
Big things become small, small things become small, nothing naturally does not want to talk more, so how to deal with the "invisible bullying" teacher, I think parents also understand.
What's more, some kindergarten teachers will also "invisible bullying" of kindergarten children.
"Ma Yulan is harming people again!" I don't know if parents have heard this sentence.
This sentence comes from a documentary called "Kindergarten", in which there is a "big heroine" Ma Yulan, who is a kindergarten student. In the film for a continuous minute and a half, Ma Yulan has enjoyed dozens of shots exclusively and has been "nominated" by the teacher more than ten times.
"Ma Yulan is harming people again" is the teacher's reprimand for this girl named Ma Yulan.
But who did Ma Yulan harm?
In the film, Ma Yulan is just lively and active, other children are quiet, only Ma Yulan plays with water for a while, pinches other children for a while, and accidentally eats the meal on the table for a while...
In this regard, the teacher was very troubled, and the teacher who did not have so much patience to teach the naughty girl began to attach the title of "harmful" to Ma Yulan.
Yes, Ma Yulan made it impossible for the teacher to manage this kindergarten class easily.
The bullying of the child by the teacher is no less harmful to the child than the bullying of the child by the classmate.
Turning a blind eye is the attitude of some kindergarten teachers towards "invisible bullying".
03 There is a way to prevent "invisible bullying"
Therefore, believe in the teacher, believe in the school, believe in the child, parents may as well believe in themselves.
Staying away from "invisible bullying" still depends on parents and children themselves!
Have parents ever wondered why their children encounter "invisible bullying" at school, but they don't mention it to their parents when they go home?
It is not that the child does not want to trust the parents, but the child does not know that this is invisible bullying, and does not know that others are not correct for their behavior! Even some children will feel that there is something wrong with them.
The daughter of a friend's family has such a problem. Even if she didn't like going to kindergarten, her parents asked why, and she didn't know how to say it. She felt that it was because she was not good that her classmates would laugh at her together.
However, after her daughter read the pistachio's "Learn to Say No" Anti-Bullying Picture Book, her daughter told her mother that there was a boy named Lele in the class, who always liked to laugh at his small eyes and short stature, and asked other children not to play with themselves. Even the other children in the class laughed at her and did not take her to play together.
These two kinds of bullying are "I don't like to be excluded" and "I don't like to be ridiculed" in the picture book "Learn to Say "No" Loudly and Anti-Bullying".
After reading the picture book, the friend's daughter began to become brave. Because, the girl knows that Lele's behavior is wrong, and she knows how to deal with it. "Invisible bullying" has also gradually moved away from a friend's daughter, whether LeLe will bully other children, I don't know, at least, the friend's daughter began to go to kindergarten happily again.
"Learn to Say "No" Loudly Anti-Bullying" picture book set of 8 volumes, 8 themes, respectively, being ridiculed, being touched, being called, being rumored, robbed, pushed, nicknamed, and excluded.
The 8 themes are all very common "invisible bullying" on campus.
The main purpose of this set of picture books, Guo Ma feels that there are two:
The first is to recognize bullying. Only when children recognize bullying and know that the other party's behavior is wrong, can they make accurate judgments, and when they need to ask for help, they can accurately express themselves to their parents and teachers;
Second, how to stay away from bullying. Crying and being forced to endure are the states in which many children encounter bullying. But this set of picture books can give children courage, teach children how to do when they encounter various bullying, so that bullies no longer bully themselves, so that children are really away from bullying.
If you also have children aged 3-8 years old, then be sure to plant an "anti-bullying" consciousness for your children. In this way, children are happier at school and parents can be more at ease!