A 15-year-old boy in Jinan was beaten by his father for playing with his mobile phone, and in a rage, he ran to the pharmacy to buy a bottle of sleeping pills, and swallowed it all into his stomach.
The family took the child to the hospital, and the child refused treatment. Just in the hospital met the police on duty, the police and the child communicated for 15 minutes, the child agreed to gastric lavage treatment, 2 days later discharged home.
Family conflicts caused by children playing mobile phones are not uncommon. A 19-year-old high school boy in Jiangsu was scolded by his father for playing with his mobile phone, and jumped from the 9th floor to his death in one breath.
The bloody cases caused by mobile phones can be searched a lot on the Internet, mostly because children play mobile phones are scolded by their parents, and children make excessive behaviors in a fit of anger.
In the circle of friends also often see the mothers of the help, with the picture is the child concentrated on holding the mobile phone, has maintained this posture for a morning, is not willing to put down the mobile phone, what to do?
Should children play mobile phones or not? Tightly controlled, worried that the child reacts as violently as the child in the news. Regardless of the child, the child has been playing with the eyes to see the flowers, do not go out to move the body to raise waste, do not study and do not read books people will also be abolished.
Children playing mobile phones must be managed, the key is how to manage? Before worrying about playing with mobile phones for children, we should first think about it, why do children play mobile phones?
01
Kids playing with their phones is just needed
Children play mobile phones, some are playing games, some are watching cartoons, watching small videos, and some are shopping and choosing clothes and toys. Of course, there are also learning, such as learning English, word recognition games, playing Go, etc., and learning is not within the scope of our worries.
Children play with mobile phones because mobile phones are fun, not only children like it, we also like it.
Chase the drama brush small video to relax, WeChat chat brush circle of friends, see what everyone is doing, we often brush a mobile phone on the morning. Mobile phones allow us to relax and are an indispensable means of social interaction.
If you go out one day without a mobile phone, you will also feel empty in your heart, and the mobile phone is just needed for you, and the same is true for children.
Part of the children's social interaction will also be achieved through mobile phones, such as playing the same game with friends and watching the same cartoon, which will allow children to have more common language. Talk about toys, talk about clothes, talk about a sentence said by someone in a cartoon.
Children playing mobile phones is not a big rebellion, we do not need to see children playing mobile phones on the anger from it, eager to immediately grab the child's mobile phone, let the child obediently learn.
On the issue of children playing mobile phones, many parents, including me, have taken extreme methods of treatment, which have not played any role, and children are still having fun.
02
Deal with the wrong practice of your child playing with their phones
The first is to let it go unchecked, even using mobile phones as a means of appeasing children.
A child who makes a mess of the house every day, and a child who is obediently lying on the couch playing with his mobile phone, it seems that the child who plays with the mobile phone is easier to control.
Many times adults will take the initiative to stuff the mobile phone into the hands of the child, as long as the child can stay quietly.
Second, indiscriminate and strict discipline.
Seeing the child playing with the mobile phone is angry, began to count, "do you know that the homework of playing mobile phone is done"? If the child is still indifferent, then just grab it, "Don't play, hurry up and write your homework." The child does not cooperate anymore and directly starts to beat up.
The effect of strict discipline is immediate, and it is easy to trigger children's excessive behavior, just like children who take sleeping pills and jump off buildings at the beginning of the article, use them with caution.
Third, make rules and strictly enforce them.
Compared with the first two methods, it is already better to make rules and ask children to implement them. But in practice, few children can take the initiative to abide by the rules, often at the agreed time, the child still holds the mobile phone and does not let go.
Parents have to use one of the first two methods to end the rule, and the rule is still achieved by violence or simply abandoning the rule.
The reason why these three methods have no good effect just now is because these methods are only headaches and pains, and the focus is on the child's behavior of playing mobile phones, without considering the causes and consequences, and does not fundamentally solve the problem.
03
Let the child not indulge, find a way from the root
There is a saying that the right person should first correct himself, and it is most appropriate to use it on discipline children.
Take care of yourself first, and then discipline your children
There's a phrase in the cartoons my son likes to watch called "Take care of yourself," which I especially like and often use as a warning to myself.
Do you have such a feeling, if the work is particularly smooth during the day, when you come home, you will feel that your children are extra obedient, everything is going well, and life is full of sunshine. But all this happened not because your luck was exceptionally good, but because you were in a better mood.
I have a deep understanding that if the work I should do is done, when I am with my child, I will be extra patient, have more time and mood to play with him, regardless of the work things, the child can not think of playing mobile phones. It is often before going to bed that I suddenly remember that I don't seem to have watched cartoons today.
When he plays with his mobile phone the most fiercely, it is often when I am in front of the computer to deal with work, and he plays by himself for a while and gets bored, and asks me to play with the mobile phone for 10 minutes.
I handed him the phone and continued to do my work, and he would keep playing with the phone. I told him it was time and he wouldn't stop because I was also continuing to work without having time to ignore him.
Therefore, to discipline the child, first of all, we must sort out their own problems, ensure that they are not distracted when facing the child, such companionship and communication is what the child wants, and the child will listen to what you say.
Influence the child, not control the child
In the book Kids, Don't Play with Cell Phones, author Dewara Heinat proposes seven keys to education in the touchscreen era, the first of which is: influencing, rather than controlling, children.
If we want to control the child, we will look at the child's every move with a critical eye, just like the invigilator, angry and angry if we are not satisfied.
From another point of view, we do not control the child, but to influence the child, we will not have 100% expectations for the child's behavior. A lot of human suffering comes from the gap between expectations and reality, and when your ideals are no longer on top, reality will not be a miserable mess.
Use your own behavior to influence the child, lead by example, and set a good example for the child, and the child will have new goals and directions to work hard.
And the rules made by the child, we must follow with the child, let the child know that the rules are not against him alone. What kind of person you want your child to become, what kind of person you want to be first.
Replace playing with your phone with something more fun
When children play with mobile phones, many parents often say, "Don't play with mobile phones to write homework." ”
These 9 words list two options for children, either playing on the phone or writing homework. Can't say how painful it is to write homework, but to choose between these two, I think everyone loves to play with their phones.
Therefore, giving a child an activity that can be as fun as playing with a mobile phone will make the child obediently put down the mobile phone. Aside from mobile phones, what do kids like to play with?
Through my son's battle of wits and courage, what makes him willing to put down his mobile phone is to use someone to replace the mobile phone to play with him.
The project to play depends on the person, if the father accompanies him, it is to play football, play the game of the big war, if I accompany him, it is to draw, throw pillows, of course, you can also come to a family mix, more fun than mobile phones.
Of course, children of different ages will have different needs, which is a test of the understanding of parents and mothers about their children.
Everyone has a need for communication, and children are no exception. Even if the mobile phone has more functions, the colors are colorful, and the animation is exquisite, after all, it is only a cold object.
Even if the child can get a certain sense of pleasure, it is still not as pleasant as communicating with people face to face and playing happily together.
Children who are addicted to mobile phones, mobile phones are not only playmates, but also emotional sustenance, if you use tough means to not let children play mobile phones, it is like robbing children's beloved treasures.
As parents, we should think about whether we give our children too little time and make his life boring, so he needs to get comfort from his mobile phone.
If this is the case, the first thing we need to do is to spend more time with the child, so that the child will regard us as his emotional sustenance.
When the function of the mobile phone is transformed from emotional sustenance to a simple entertainment device, it is easy for the child to quit the mobile phone.