The family is the first school in life,
Parents are a child's first teacher.
Different families have different educational methods.
As a teacher and parent
Dual-identity headmaster mom,
What are their unique "parenting classics"?
How to establish a good parent-child relationship?
How to cultivate good habits in children,
Let the child grow better...
Today, we invited 7 principal moms,
Combine yourself in education
scientific ideas and practical experience,
Share their parenting tips with parents.
Inject colorful sunlight into your child's heart
Zu Xueyuan Principal of Baijiazhuang Primary School in Chaoyang District, Beijing
In recent years, there have been more sensitive, suspicious, willful, unsociable children in schools, who are prone to antagonistic emotions in case of trouble, and are gradually tending to be younger. After investigating, questioning, and dissecting multiple cases one by one, we found a common problem: behind most of these children, there is a mother who locks her eyes on the child, and they are fully engaged in the life of accompanying the child, and involuntarily control everything about the child.
I have been working in the school for more than 40 years, witnessed countless families that sprinkle the sunshine on the hearts of children, and the school cooperation is very good, these graduates with the mark of respect such as "tolerance, perseverance, dialectics", all with a sunny and healthy mentality, to the new environment, can become excellent in a certain field.
I'm also a member of the parents, and I think that being a principal and being a mother is actually a title: both are mothers. The difference is that one is the "mom" of nearly 6,000 children in the school, and the other is the mother of one child in the family. Whether it is a "mother" at school or a mother at home, it is the same when educating children, that is, to root a concept, that is, respect. Always regard the child as a capital person, dialogue with them on an equal footing, guide them to solve all problems in life with an inquiring approach and dialectical thinking, and let them learn to respect in feeling respect.
This year, my daughter is 29 years old, and what makes me most proud is that she said to me: Going to society, especially in the exchange and comparison with classmates of the same age, she feels that the greatest happiness is to live in a very democratic, open, inclusive and dialectical family atmosphere. My communication with my daughter has never been strong, and I have never spoken only conclusion language. From the age of 2, when she had a problem, I would always let her take a small bench and sit down and quietly think about what had just happened, what the result was, and how it could not happen. I was amazed to find that the child's potential is unlimited, and I can think about it without saying anything. Slowly, as the child grew older, I still communicated in this way, that is, I encountered a very difficult and critical problem, and I did not rush to calmly guide her to think: "What do you think about this?" "What other angles can be analyzed?" "How many results could there be?" When you encounter learning problems, you never tell them directly, but let yourself investigate.
From the first time I heard her come back and say that she didn't like so-and-so classmates, I guided her to learn to observe, to look for the advantages of classmates, and after a period of persistence, she happily told me, "I don't hate him anymore." "The ruler is short, the inch is long", "Learn to appreciate others"... It was probably in these details that seeped into her blood. "If something goes wrong, think about what is wrong with yourself" and "Analyze why the other party has a problem from multiple angles" has always been what I insist on teaching. What I feel most pleased is that now she has integrated the qualities of "positive and optimistic" and "respectful, inclusive and strong" into her work and life. Sometimes she would "criticize" me, "Mom don't say this, there must be other reasons you don't know here", reminding me to always remain calm and rational in the face of any problem.
Family education is the "first kilometer" of life education, and motherhood is particularly important, especially in the details of the guidance will have a native, developmental and lifelong impact on the formation of children's personality, habit formation and moral development. The Law of the People's Republic of China on the Promotion of Family Education was officially implemented, clarifying the content of family education, and upgrading family education from "family affairs" to "state affairs". In such a new context, mothers should take the lead in "bringing babies according to law", and should inject colorful sunshine such as "respect, dialectics and trust" into their children's hearts!
Love is instinct And love is ability
Wang Mei The Affiliated Experimental Primary School of Beijing Petroleum Institute
Secretary, Principal
Women have many roles to play in their lives, as the principal of the school, they are also the creators of the harmonious atmosphere of the family, and they are the most important educators in the process of children's growth. When educating children, I always follow the principle of "strict kindness and compassion", respect the laws of children's growth, and provide them with a relaxed but principled family environment to help them grow up along the way.
First, respect the nature of children. A happy childhood is the foundation of a happy life, and the experience of childhood has a profound impact on a person's future life. In the process of children's growth, I always respect their nature, accompany them with my heart, take them out to play, get close to nature, and help them grow their abilities to adapt to the requirements of future society while releasing their energy and broadening their horizons. In addition, I pay attention to starting from the children's natural advantages and strengths, excavating their shining points, and giving full play to their different advantages; even if the child's performance is not as good as expected for the time being, I am not anxious or anxious, but look at the child with a developmental vision and wait for the flowers to blossom.
Second, adhere to the "character first, achievement second". In the process of children's education, I never measure them by score, but put the shaping of their excellent qualities first. I always practice what I preach, teach them how to behave in the world, let children learn to respect others, be kind to others, and be filial to the elderly through big things and small things, and cultivate them into sunny, optimistic, positive, sincere and kind people. I've always believed that academic performance isn't the only measure of a child. In the process of lifelong learning, do not rush to take the lead, but teach them the correct learning methods, give them enough time and space to progress. And I firmly believe that a person with excellent qualities and correct learning methods will not end up with too bad academic performance.
Third, communicate with children on an equal footing. Children and I are good friends who talk about everything, whether it is happy things or difficult things, they are happy to share with me, and there are difficulties to solve together. This is due to the fact that I have been with them as "friends" since I was a child, not suppressing them as adults, but listening, understanding and helping them from an equal point of view. I do not limit them with rules and regulations, but also always remind myself to understand the real thoughts of children through more harmonious communication methods, and give them the right guidance and help while conveying love to them.
Fourth, make your home a warm harbor. The family is a strong backing and warm harbor for a person, and the mother is the bond and regulator of a happy family. Our family is a big family, and I have always consciously regulated and balanced the relationships between family members, such as the relationship between the elders and the juniors, the relationship between the father and the child, the relationship between the two children. When there is a small friction or a small conflict between family members, as a mother, I will use the feminine euphemism and meticulousness to turn the dry into a jade veil, maintain a harmonious family relationship, create a happy and warm family atmosphere, and always provide a relaxed, healthy and safe growth environment for my children.
Loving children is a mother's instinct, and "knowing love" is an ability, and in the process of parenting, we need to constantly learn and cultivate this ability to help them accumulate valuable growth experience and eventually grow into talents.
Be a role model parent with a temperature
Wang Ying, Principal of Shijingshan Experimental Middle School in Beijing
Someone once said, "The best family education is very simple: the father is a role model, the mother has a temperature", in fact, the role model and temperature, parents should do.
Today's young people are really not easy, the pressure of social competition is increasing, and work and raising children seem to have become a pair of contradictions. I once heard the saying that "I can't accompany you when I pick up a job, and I can't support this family when I accompany you", which is the helplessness of reality and a common social phenomenon. How do you weigh it?
I think high-quality companionship is a very effective approach. When you can spend with your child, put down your phone, put down your work for a while, let go of the housework, let go of everything that bothers you, and devote yourself to playing, talking and caressing with your child. If you are too busy, it is also recommended that parents take at least 20 minutes to half an hour a day to accompany their children with high quality. Fill the child's cup of love so that he or she can play with others or themselves with a sense of security.
Work and childcare, seemingly contradictory, are not completely incompatible. In 1996, at the age of 34, I became the principal of Jinding Street No. 2 Primary School in Shijingshan District. A few years later, my son entered another elementary school in Shijingshan District. As a principal, I can imagine that my work is busy, and I often ride my bicycle to pick up my children at 7 or 8 o'clock at night, and only the small figure of my son is left in the huge campus, and the children often sit on the back seat of my bicycle and fall asleep. Looking back on those days, I still feel guilty about my children. When he grew up, I once asked him, "Did you complain about your mother at that time?" My son's answer surprised me: "Mom, I have long forgotten that when I was a child, you were busy at work and could not take care of my things, but your serious and responsible attitude towards work, I still remember it vividly, which has been subtly affecting me, whether it is studying or working now." ”
I want to tell this example to the young parents now, don't be too entangled because the work is busy with the child's time is less, your efforts, itself, is a kind of education, this kind of serious work, hard work example, will take root in the child's small heart, become his future life and work direction!
"Throw" out the sense of responsibility
Li Honglian Principal of Liangxiang No. 4 Primary School in Fangshan District, Beijing
In the blink of an eye, the girl has become an excellent teacher. During the winter vacation, the school leaders approached her and wanted her to take over another class of Chinese teaching on the basis of the full workload, and she happily agreed. Later she told me that there must be no better way for the school to find me, and I had to agree.
Not only for the children in the class, for the work assigned to the school, but also for the family she became the most worried. From my grandfather who was sick in bed to her uncle's brother who was studying in the field, she became the core of the family when she was less than thirty years old, and even I, as the principal, gradually felt that she had become my dependence in many ways.
I often wonder, where does the girl's sense of responsibility come from? Thinking carefully about the growth mileage of my girlfriend, I deeply feel that the sense of responsibility is "thrown" out.
Just after turning eight months old, I "threw" her to her parents living in the countryside. At the age of three, he took him back to his side and began to "throw" into the kindergarten. The so-called "throwing" is the first to arrive every day, the last to pick up; not only that, in the kindergarten with the small partner to fight, let the school supplies not brought, I have not managed. One day I was most impressed, I went to pick her up, and she cried and said that other children have little red flowers, and she wanted it too. Looking at her crying sadly, I told her that I could go to the teacher myself and tell the teacher to give her one first, and I would behave well tomorrow. After some efforts, she finally went home with "Tomorrow's Little Red Flower". Now that I think about it, because she came too early, she often helped the teacher to do some small things, such as setting up tables and chairs, setting up tableware, and became the teacher's little assistant; because of the late pick-up, she learned to accept and understand her parents while waiting; because she never cared about the contradictions between her and other children, she learned to interact with people.
Entering elementary school, I am still faced with a state of "throwing". At that time, there was no lunch in school, and I often went out to meet and participate in activities, most of which could not be arranged in advance, coupled with the lack of mobile phones and other information means, how to solve the problem of lunch and where to go after school is a problem that girls often have to face. I often go to this "aunt" today (a colleague who has a good relationship with me) and tomorrow to go to that "aunt's" house. I also often think of her when the work is done. Looking back now, when she was young, she was out of school, other classmates were picked up, and she herself had to decide which "aunt" to eat, where to finish her homework, how to deal with the big friends and children of the "aunt" family, and this process made her learn my own things, learn to understand my parents, and learn to interact with others.
Now that I think about it, "throwing" creates room for growth, and "throwing" gives her the freedom to grow. And excessive care and care affects the growth of children, creating a "mother treasure man" and "nibbling old people".
Integrate career planning into the whole process of family education
Bao Tieyan is the principal of Daxing Experimental Primary School affiliated to Beijing Institute of Education
I am a principal and, more importantly, a mother. As mothers, we all want our children to have a happy future. People often ask me, you are a principal, is it easy to educate your children? In fact, it's not like everyone thinks. I am a teacher, a principal, I am doing educational work, but I am not in the same role as my parents, and when I return home, I also need to change my role. I also grew up with my children while learning.
In the process of growing up, I feel that one of the most valuable things I do is to integrate the concept of career planning into the education of children from a young age.
My daughter is currently studying clinical medicine at Capital Medical University, has been in the senior year, along the way, it can be said that there are a lot of feelings, thinking of the future home has a "white messenger", is also full of joy, more full of gratification.
I often ask many high school seniors, "What school are you going to go to?" What kind of work do you want to do in the future? "Most of the children's answers worry me, they are confused about their future career plans. As a mother, I think it makes sense to plan your career early with your children. Let's talk about my parenting experience as a principal's mother.
First, career planning begins with interest. When children are young, their initial hobbies are likely to become the germ of their future careers. As a parent, we should protect our children's curiosity and be good at discovering children's interests and hobbies related to their future careers. I remember in 2003 "SARS" period, my daughter was only three years old, ignorant to know some situations, more is to see many doctors fighting in the front line of the fight against SARS, at that time she often said that she grew up to be a doctor, but also often played the game of "doctor to see a doctor" with her friends, often playing the role of a doctor in the game. Therefore, I guided the children from a young age, often telling them some stories of excellent doctors in ancient and modern times, so that the children had a sense of awe for medical work. So that this idea, the child has not changed, forming a career direction.
Second, career planning stimulates motivation. As my children grow up, their career goals become clearer and clearer, and I continue to motivate my children to learn. Children's primary school, junior high school, high school stage, are very smooth, especially and medicine-related subjects are more active to learn well, for example, junior high school, high school biology subjects, children's grades have been very good. Many children have no interest in learning, no motivation, and most of them are confused about the future. In the third year of high school, each child's learning tasks are relatively heavy, and I encourage children to learn to persevere. At this stage, my daughter and I have overcome many difficulties in life, and I think this must stem from clear career goals, and in order to achieve personal career planning, the internal drive has played a huge role.
Finally, career planning leads to the future. In the process of educating children, planning for the future requires the patience and endurance of parents. Doing a good job of career planning can give children a better future, and I have always insisted on correct guidance. Giving children a clear career direction is a very important educational task for parents. When my daughter applied for the third year of high school, she did not hesitate to choose the medical major and successfully entered the clinical medicine major of Capital Medical University. The study of college years is also very hard, more than a dozen homework every semester, each subject is a thick book, but also has another experience of life - no struggle, no youth.
As a principal mother, I think that the essence of education is to train children to live, work and learn with a positive attitude throughout their lives. Children eventually go to society, and children learn every day in order to go to society more smoothly in the future. Do a good job planning with your children, this is the most important educational content for every parent.
Parents are a mirror for their children
Zhang Mingjing, Principal of Henan Zhai Middle School in Miyun District, Beijing
Inadvertently, the daughter went from being an "ugly duckling" to a big girl. She is 20 years old and in the second year of the History Department of the First Normal University, and the impression she leaves is always sunny and humble. "Teach me the secrets of educating my children!" Friends are half joking. Think about it, what role have I played in my daughter's growth in the past 20 years?
Set an example. From the first day I stood on the podium, I aspired to be an excellent people's teacher. When my daughter was in elementary school, every night, we sat on the opposite side of the desk to prepare lessons, write homework, and occasionally look up at each other and smile, and we would understand everything. My daughter also learned from me the qualities of respecting the elderly, loving children, and being kind to others. One day in the cold winter when she was four or five years old, in front of a shoe repair stall, she used a pair of small hands to drag a cotton through the feet of an old grandmother (one of the grandmother's shoes was being repaired, barefoot), and the grandmother said in a touching voice: "This child's education is really good." Parents are a mirror of their children, and it is better to teach by example than words.
Let go of respect. The child is like a kite flying in the air, and the parent can fly as high as she can fly. Since the third grade of elementary school, the daughter has not been picked up by her parents and has been independently going to school every day. In the middle school entrance examination to fill in the volunteer, she herself checked the "Enrollment Brochure", "Examination Special Journal", checked the Internet, and finally determined Tongzhou Luhe Middle School, on the grounds that the school has a long history, the campus environment atmosphere is good, and there is a taste of the university. When she encountered the first year of the college entrance examination, she also tailored herself, choosing politics, history, and chemistry, believing that this choice not only promoted the strength of the discipline, but also facilitated admission and employment. Seeing that she can truly grow and develop according to her own inner will, there is only respect.
Also a mother and a friend. Maybe because of my personality, I was born sincere and frank, and so was my daughter. We both talk a lot. I talked to her about the gains from her work and the confusion I encountered. Unexpectedly, she made clear judgments and made rationalization suggestions every time. I fully respect her interests and hobbies, she and netizens met for photography, enough to prepare for an afternoon, I also put forward a lot of ideas! She was most proud of her classmates who could become my friends. Daughter high school Classmate Yang was admitted to Nanjing Medical University, she interviewed me, often WeChat, the three of us also went on a trip together... Every once in a while, my daughter and I would watch a movie together and talk about film reviews. During the epidemic at home study, she occasionally talked to me about the fact that our classmates and parents were no longer compatible with each other, and our little life was still full of taste. It's a great feeling to be a mother and a friend!
Colleagues who have met my daughter say that she looks like me when she raises her hand. Yes, my parents are the first teachers of my children, and she has deeply branded me in the process of growing up... I sincerely hope that she will not only be like me in the future, but also live her wonderful - health! Up! Happy!
Care, Encourage, Respect, Lead
Geng Cuiyu Is the secretary and principal of Big Yushu Central Primary School in Yanqing District, Beijing
As a mother of a child, and also a "principal mother" of hundreds of children in the school, after experiencing simple and extensive and delicate in-depth education, I have some feelings:
The first is to help children build self-confidence with tolerance. Self-confidence is the basis of good development, children's self-confidence is often based on the evaluation of him by the surrounding people, an affirmation, a praise may be able to make the child's confidence greatly increased, on the contrary, if you often seek complete blame, the child will be at a loss, always feel that they are not good, not excellent, in the long run it is easy to become timid, cowardly, no opinion, no self-confidence.
The second is to cultivate children's life ability through practice. Today's children are often "set three thousand pets in one", the more so the more to "spoil and not drown", guide children to actively practice, early hands, more hands, will move, small clothes can be washed by themselves, small school bags can be cleaned by themselves, simple meals can be made by themselves, simple electrical appliances can be safely used, and strive to learn to manage themselves, only in this way is to cultivate children as a person who can grow independently and healthily in the future.
The third is to build a bridge of communication through dialogue on an equal footing. Establish an equal dialogue relationship as soon as possible, care from the perspective of parents, communicate from the perspective of friends, and accompany children from the perspective of partners, so that children can grow up healthily in an environment that is respected, cared for, safe and warm. Fourth, "teaching by example" as an important guiding method, teaching by example is better than teaching, we honor our parents, love our brothers and sisters, and live in harmony with our neighbors, our children will follow the rules and regulations, we work diligently and conscientiously, and children will understand early on that learning is their responsibility and obligation.
Ten years of trees and a hundred years of tree people, only with persistent care, encouragement, respect and leadership, of course, there are appropriate punishments, in order to let children grow up healthy and strong!
Maternal love is innate, unreserved love;
Mother is a strong and hard-working beauty who has lived up to her years.
On this warm and harmonious day,
Wish the mother of the world
Happy holidays!
Planner: Lou Xue, Ling Yueyun, Fu Lei, Wang Xiaoai, He Wenjie, Hao Bin
Editor: Hao Bin
Editor: Hao Bin
Final Judgement: Wang Yu, Su Jinzhu, Bao Danhe
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