01
At night to pick up his nephew from school, he was a little unhappy, saying that his classmates had pocket money, as far as he didn't, they could buy what they wanted with pocket money, but they couldn't buy anything, and now they don't play with themselves.
I was a little surprised that he was in the fifth grade, and he came several times a semester, and he didn't hear about pocket money. Just ask him, your parents have not given you pocket money?
He nodded and said that sometimes Dad wanted to give, and Mom said he was too young to spend money, and he would give it when he grew up. But he was in the fifth grade, and he knew how to spend money and how to buy things, but his mother still refused to give pocket money.
I guess he must have encountered something in school, like he said, his peers have pocket money and he doesn't, and over time, he may not be able to play together, so there may be some barriers to interpersonal communication.
I talked to my brother and sister-in-law, and they were a little dismissive, saying, isn't it just a few dollars of pocket money? He wants me to give it to him now, what's the big deal?
Actually, it's a big deal. Children who have pocket money and those who do not have pocket money in primary schools are very big when they grow up.
02
First of all, what is pocket money?
Pocket money is the parents or elders to the children, the juniors themselves can dispose of the funds, generally will not give a lot, children like to get pocket money, so that they can buy what they want to buy.
Second, should pocket money be given?
The idea of the brother and sister-in-law is that the child can help buy what he wants to buy, and when he has money, he will spend it randomly, and there is nothing important to buy, so it doesn't matter what the pocket money is.
Not really.
Many adults will not manage their money after working, either all shopping, or all tips or overdraft credit cards, etc., or they will not manage their money. Pocket money is the enlightenment of financial and business education and is a valuable educational tool. Children learn to manage pocket money, but also learn to manage money.
We often see many primary school students or middle school students swiping their parents' cards to tip the anchor or private parents' money, and some children go to steal money or ask for money from children younger than themselves. Some of these children lack the concept of money, do not know how to manage money, how to use money.
Therefore, it is necessary to give children pocket money and let them learn to use and manage their own pocket money, so as to cultivate their children's concept of money.
Again, how do you give your child pocket money? When to give? How much is appropriate?
Studies have shown that most children start at age 3 and have a preliminary concept of money. So, pocket money can start early.
Don't worry about the child being small and not knowing anything.
In fact, when children are not in kindergarten, they know that they can buy things with money. My neighbor was a little girl, two and a half years old, who would go to the commissary four or five days a week with her mother asking for a dollar to buy bubble water and then play bubble blowing downstairs. Some children want to buy balloons, lollipops, stickers, etc. on the way after kindergarten, which can be bought with pocket money.
In "Anti-Coddling", it is mentioned that children pocket money is the latest in the first grade. It's also okay to be a little earlier. For example, when children can count and start asking where the money comes from, how much is it or when they start pestering their parents to buy things, we can give them pocket money.
So how do you give pocket money? The key is to be clear about the rules and stick to the principles.
You can set a time with your child so that there will be a sense of ceremony. Prepare a ledger, a small wallet, and give pocket money to your children every week or month at a fixed time.
There are four misunderstandings that need to be noted.
First, parents who have change in their hands will give it to their children.
Many times, parents bring cash to buy things and the rest of the money is given to the child, so how much money the child has, how much money the parent gives, is not good statistics, the child will use this money to do what is not recorded, and not formal enough.
Second, give money to complete the assigned tasks.
For example, cleaning, doing housework, and then getting the first place in the exam. Do not use money as a means of encouragement, learning is their own business, no money is rewarded, housework is a responsibility, and no money is used to encourage.
Third, children ask for money and give it unconditionally.
Some parents are very generous, as long as the child wants money to give, no matter what to buy, no matter what to do, so that the growth of the child is not good, the child will always feel that no matter how much money I want, my parents will agree, he has no critical thinking.
Fourth, pocket money is associated with loving children.
Some parents say I love you, so I give you money. The extra meaning is that if you don't love, you have no money, or if the child doesn't have pocket money, there is no parent who doesn't love the child. Such a child can be very sad and sensitive.
For example, my nephew is already a little inferior with his peers now, and if parents do not deal with and pay attention in time, the child's communication will really have problems.
So how much to give pocket money?
The amount of pocket money is just enough to meet what the child wants to buy, and parents can determine the amount of pocket money with the child according to the pocket money of the child's companion and their own family situation. It doesn't matter if you give a little less at the beginning, you can adjust it later, but try to avoid giving your child less pocket money.
Some parents give five-year-olds 3 yuan a week, some give primary school students 5 yuan a week, and some give 100 a month, which parents decide for themselves.
03
Finally, pocket money is given to the child, do we want to take care of it?
There should be many parents who are worried that their children will not spend money, and after giving pocket money, they will spend all kinds of flowers, want to buy everything, and then spend it quickly. In fact, this is also very good, at least the child knows that the money is used up, and if you want to buy something, you will wait for the next week or next month.
Through the way children spend money, we can know whether children consume impulsively or cautiously, and after understanding, we can guide them to consume.
Don't worry about children wasting pocket money, they are growing up in trial and error, pocket money is the smallest cost of trial and error, so that at least when they grow up, they will not take the money for one-time consumption or loan.
After giving the child pocket money, we have to tell the child how the money came from. They can shop around when buying things, and pay attention to the ingredient list and production date when buying snacks. Also, don't over-interfere with your child's use of pocket money, such as buying a bunch of cards that may seem useless.
Older children can also encourage them to save, estimating that they keep accounts. You can also plan to invite your companions to your home, and they use their pocket money to entertain or buy gifts for friends, etc.
Many parents say that children who do not have pocket money in primary schools will steal money at a long time, which is a bit extreme, but there is also some truth. We can appropriately give children a part of the pocket money, let them learn to manage on their own, the key is to tell children that they like things can be bought by themselves. Children cannot be without a sense of money, but they should not feel that money is omnipotent.