How to beat a child can make him remember for a long time without breaking the child?

Mom, yesterday was International No Kids Day. Toot mom forgot, or went to bed to see Toot Boy's class group, the teacher sent a message to remember.

Toot Mom casually forwarded it to the friend group and asked everyone why they beat their children?

There are answers to everything, but there are only two points:

Let your child remember sex for a long time!

Give yourself a blow job!

There is even a "caring" father who said that in order to prevent himself from breaking the child, he never uses "weapons", but beats himself "with his own hands"! Light play does not have a long memory, heavy and afraid of breaking the child. Hit with your hands to grasp the force.

this...... It sounds quite "fatherly love like a mountain", but I always feel that there is something strange about Yuki.

Toot Mom talked to you about the problem of beating children today. Hopefully, I can bring you some new inspiration.

American child education expert Heim Ginort said:

"Punishment does not deter bad behavior, it only makes criminals more careful when committing crimes, more skillfully concealed crimes, and more skillfully undetected."

Deeply.

When a child is beaten, he is ostensibly afraid and afraid, and all he may be afraid of is the rattan in your hand. He seemed to stop his bad behavior immediately, but in fact he only temporarily succumbed to force.

The child is either in a state of panic and fear, or with resentment and rebellion. Instead of reflecting on your own wrongdoing.

This is why many parents say:

"What if my child loves to lie?" I've beaten him several times, but it still doesn't work at all. ”

"My child is particularly picky eater, I have changed the tricks and made it carefully, she still refuses to eat well, because I don't know how many times I have beaten her."

Hitting a child only out of adult anger did not solve the child's problem!

You noticed don't break the child's body, good! But what about children's mental health?

When I mention the mental health of children who have been beaten, I expect that A friend will immediately refute me:

"I was beaten when I was a child, isn't it nothing, haven't I grown up healthy?"

The logic of this sentence does not make sense.

When a beaten child grows up, "there is no personality distortion", which does not prove that "it is reasonable for parents to beat their children".

You look good now, but you "could have gotten better."

Under the news of a child beating on Weibo, many people compared how they were beaten when they were children, how badly and how fiercely they beat, and laughed at the news that "that kind of beating is also called beating?" Then my parents have already broken the law."

This is "I was beaten when I was a child, isn't it nothing, not healthy and healthy to grow up?" "Disproof.

They claim that they were beaten so badly when they were young, and they are still healthy and fat. In fact, this kind of words and deeds is a manifestation of a psychological defense mechanism, called rationalization.

When I was a child, I was beaten by my parents, and my heart was very painful, in order to escape or alleviate the pain, to rationalize this pain, so there was "filial piety under the stick", "no fight can not be a weapon", "I thank my father for beating me violently, otherwise I would not be so sensible now".

There are even people who ask "what if I don't fight later", which is the same as "stop broadcasting the Spring Festival Gala, you let me Chinese New Year's Eve watch", brainwashed by violence to think that violence is the only way to solve problems and help grow up in the world.

Do you still feel that being beaten as a child has no effect on your character development and mental health?

By observing the behavior of young children, one characteristic can be seen. Suppose that the toddler is attacked and cannot attack the other party himself. Usually attacks themselves, thus releasing their inner emotions. Growing up, however, violence is often irrefutable, accompanied by verbal attacks.

1. Verbal violence creates a sense of inferiority.

Children are psychologically fragile. When someone keeps insulting and insulting, and can't get rid of this environment, there is only one way to liberate themselves, that is, to think that the other party is right to scold. The brain consciousness will allow itself to accept such a perception so as not to generate constant anxiety and uneasiness in daily life.

2. Physical violence produces timidity.

Timidity is a neurotic act. Often comes from unjustified domestic violence, a little thing is punished, may not be serious punishment, but often in the psychology of a mechanism, encounter something to feel afraid, this is a psychological projection.

3, can not resist the anger brought about.

Emotions need to be released. A large backlog will produce hostility, but the more inferiority, the more timid, the more difficult it is to release emotions, and the backlog of hostility will become more and more serious. Thus it is possible to induce an act of "revenge on society".

These are all psychological problems that violence brings to children.

Next, let's talk about physical problems. It is not that the body is not injured, the child's body is not hurt!

Children who have been raised from an early age have always been in the "fright" because of the uncertainty of scolding. This keeps their emotions on alert and high.

Such children generally have sleep problems, the immune system is very poor, over time, there will be some physical problems: such as gynecological problems, irritable bowel syndrome, migraines, heart problems and so on.

In a word, don't hit the kids! Hitting a kid is very wrong!

Toot Mom said

It is estimated that at this time, some parents will ask, do you think I want to hit the child? I don't listen when I say it, and I don't listen when I teach it. How can I discipline him without hitting him?

Mom and Dad in the comment area to talk about it~

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