01
It is often said that families without rules are more terrible than poverty.
But in real life, more and more people only have money in their eyes, and think that with money, there is everything.
The ancients said: "Rich is not more than three generations, poor is not more than five." ”
No matter how rich a family is, if it does not have the ability to keep its money, if it is not careful, it will all be ruined.
As a result, families, rules, and money that continue to thrive develop in tandem.
02
Establish rules for spending money, and wealth will slowly increase.
Having money is the foundation of being a person and the foundation of family happiness. However, the standard of "rich money" is rarely paid attention to, or there is no unified standard at all.
The real rich people do not mean those who are rich in money, but those who know how to live frugally.
I saw such a sentence on the Internet: "It is not that we do not save money, but that our cognition and desire and ability do not match, and we always think that our income is too small to save money." ”
To put it bluntly, many people only know how to make money, but they do not have a plan to spend money, there are problems with values, and their vision is not wide enough.
In Japan, there is a girl named "Yu", who has been planning to save money since she was eighteen years old, and her daily living expenses are controlled to less than 13 yuan. After 15 years of hard work, she is already the owner of three houses. After being exposed, she was named "Japan's Most Provincial Girl.".
In fact, her approach is completely replicable: make plans to make money and spend money, so that she has a certain amount of savings every month; establish rules for renting, let the house "live", and support the house with the house.
As the old saying goes: "One dollar a day, a thousand days and a thousand dollars, the rope sawn wood is broken, and the water drops are worn by stone." ”
There is also a British proverb: "Frugality itself is a property." ”
With the rules of spending money, the family will become rich and the people's hearts will be satisfied. The development of the family has a follow-up motivation.
03
The rules of setting a lower line can produce the beauty of distance.
As the saying goes, "If people get too close to each other, it is a disaster." ”
A family, living under one roof every day, eating at a table, it is inevitable to get close to each other. Everyone stares at other people's faces, but rarely looks at their own faces. Over time, there will be contradictions, and there will be feelings of boredom and being bound.
Good family, there is a distance between the family, each has a certain private space.
In "Yanzi Spring and Autumn", there is such a story: Qi Jinggong was idle at night, carrying a bottle of wine, walked to Yanzi's house, said that he had arranged wine and meat, and brought music, let's have a drink together.
Yan Zi said: "Arrange the king's dinner, this is something that can only be done by specific people, and I cannot participate." ”
Qi Jinggong came to the house of the chancellor Sima Rang Tho again and asked for a drink together.
Sima Yong Tho said: "I am a military general, responsible for leading soldiers to fight, dinner affairs, is not my scope of responsibility. ”
A king is the head of a family. But his demands, once violated, could not be enforced.
Feelings can be used to keep a person, but feelings cannot govern a family. Only rules can convince everyone.
In many families, parents have made rules, but they only ask their children to do what they do, but they do not take the initiative to implement them; there are also some families, the rules are useless, and they can be replaced by feelings at any time.
The boundaries between family members are becoming more and more blurred, and it is inevitable that the cart before the horse will be reversed. For example, a son can discipline his parents and order them to take money at any time.
With the rules of the boundary, everyone can perform their duties, do not interfere with each other at will, and thus be more trusting.
04
Only when the rules of reward and punishment are established can there be reverence in the heart.
In the "Yan Family Training", it is written: "The strictness of father and son cannot be foxy; the love of flesh and blood cannot be simple." Jane is kind and filial piety, and Fox is slow to live. ”
Parents' love for their children must have a bottom line, too loose, that is, laissez-faire; too strict, will make the child disgusted, counterproductive.
We often say that we should praise children more and discover more of their strengths. But reality is difficult to do, because good children are in other people's homes.
I have seen a joke: a child comes home with two test papers in Chinese and mathematics and asks his father which one to read first?
Father said, feel free.
The child lifts up the test paper – eight in Chinese and twelve in mathematics.
The father smiled and said, "Son, you are not bad, just a little biased." Then, the father began to urge the child how to read seriously.
It is true that in the face of the mistakes made by their children, parents should not be angry, but should talk calmly and find the direction of their children's progress.
When the child grows up, the parents can still insist on discovering their advantages, less complaints, more encouragement, and the child will naturally become better.
Between husband and wife, between parents and children, more encouragement than complaining, complaining, and accusing, the family will be harmonious and the individual will have a direction.
05
Only by establishing the rules of learning can the family business continue to develop.
Chen Kang, a native of Chen Guo during the Spring and Autumn Period, was very skeptical of Confucius's knowledge before he worshipped Confucius as a teacher.
One day, Chen Kang asked Confucius's son Boyu, "What special teachings did you learn from Confucius?" ”
Bo Yu said: "My father asked me, if I don't study poetry, how can I talk?" If you don't learn etiquette, how to stand up..."
Chen Kang was very happy and said, "A question, let me Mao Sai open up." Poetry, the truth of etiquette, and the truth that a gentleman will not favor his son. ”
We often say that to be a human being is to be "knowledgeable and reasonable." However, how can families who do not love to learn do it?
Shakespeare said, "Life without books is like no sunlight; wisdom without books is like a bird without wings." ”
Establish the rules of reading, the family is standing on the shoulders of giants, in order to truly "fly with wings". The more you read, the more you can inherit the family style, and the rules will become "rules", which will naturally enter the heart.
06
There is a proverb that says, "A hundred miles are different, and ten miles change the rules." ”
Rules are not static, but adapt to local conditions and keep pace with the times.
In addition to the universal rules, you must also make some quite distinctive rules to make your family different.
Rules are not only binding on children, but upward and downward, and are passed down from generation to generation. Think about it, parents hold mobile phones to play games, why let children hold books?
The rules of spending money make families richer.
The rules of boundaries make distance beautiful.
The rules of reward and punishment make people have a ruler.
Learn the rules and let the family continue to upgrade.
Love and rules are used together, money and rules go hand in hand, and governing a family is like mining.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.