Only the first three months after the baby is born are quiet. It was also relatively quiet, because they were not so rebellious and disobedient at this time. Probably sleep most of the day, so we think the baby is actually quite good to raise.
But when babies crawl or start sitting at four or five months, they sleep less every day and spend more time "tossing" us. But at this time, the baby is still relatively quiet, because they are not rebellious.
But by the time the baby is two years old, it's different, and our world may have "collapsed" since then, because the baby has completely begun his first rebellious period.
The two words they hang on their lips every day are "I don't." It's really hard, the child is rebellious, and the more we control it, the stricter we are. How can this be done?
Lu You once said: "The mountains and rivers are doubtful and there is no way, and the willows are dark and the flowers are bright and another village." "
The more the baby is, the more rebellious he becomes, what do we do? Maybe positive discipline doesn't work, we can try the opposite, and going up against the current may have unexpected effects.
So what do we do? Today I would like to share with you a more useful rule. The Pygmalion effect is also called the expectation effect. For these bad behaviors of the baby, there should be a good corrective effect.
What is the "Pygmalion Effect"?
Simply put, the Pygmalion effect is also called the Rosenthal effect or the expectation effect. One day in 1968, American psychologists Rosenthal and L. Jacobson came to an elementary school and said they were going to conduct seven experiments. Rosenthal made up a historic lie at this point, and the details were also told to the headmaster.
He selected some students with poor grades, then took them to do experiments, and finally told these students that their experimental results were very good. It is predicted that they will become very successful high-level people in society in the future.
These students were very happy but also very surprised to hear their results. But the results of the experiment were there, and they had to believe it. Back in the classroom, the professor also told the students that the teachers must treat them as "geniuses" during the course of the class.
Both students and teachers can meet the expectations of the results of the experiment. In the end, all of these students were admitted to excellent universities, and some of the children were very successful. It has to be said that the power of expectation is enormous.
The more the child is "rebellious", you may wish to try the Pygmalion effect, which is more useful than shouting through the throat
When the child is rebellious and emotional, we scold the child at this time and already acquiesce that they have not achieved the goal we have in mind. So at this time we can calm down and have a good talk with the child.
Express what you expect from them and see if they will work in the direction we want. Specifically, we can do that.
1. Calm the child down
When your baby starts crying or getting emotional, we can calm down your baby first. We can say to them, "Mom knows what you want to do, Mom understands you." At this time, when the child hears this, he will understand that we actually understand them, but understanding does not mean support.
So we must first quiet the child at this time, create an acceptable environment for them psychologically, and provide the basis for the next conversation between us and the baby.
2. Talk about your expectations for your baby
At this time, the baby may have completely quieted down, and the emotions are no longer so excited. At this point we can use the Pygmalion effect. We can say to the baby: "Mom has always felt that you are a good child who can calm down at the first time when encountering anything."
But today Mom saw you crying and spilling. But Mom will always believe that you are the ideal in my heart. Baby cheers. "At this time the child hears us say this, and if they have a look of repentance or shame at this time, then our purpose has been achieved.
The baby will develop as we expect it to be, but if the baby doesn't have these performances at this time, it probably means that our expectations are useless. We also need to engage in the third step of negotiations.
3. Let the child choose
At this point, we can let the child choose, and we can say: "Baby, do you want to continue to lose your temper?" Or do you want to calm down and analyze your own problems? "In addition, we can also state our principles to the baby.
There are some things that we firmly disagree with. So we have to let the baby choose for himself? We need to trust that your baby will make the right choice.
On the road to education, we have always believed and explored. But discipline of your baby is really hard. It is not easy for us to be excellent, we can only slowly absorb and explore, and strive to be qualified, so that the baby can grow up excellently.